Sorry a vent

cnote · #1 January 30th, 2012, 06:16 AM

I just flipped out on my mom. DH is out of town and teaching seminars all week and I need to vent and get this out, sorry it will be long.

The twins had their b-day party yesterday. It was at a play place with about 20 kids from 11am until 1pm. My mom called me on Wed and said that her and my dad wanted to come out on Sunday & she was thinking she'd get here after the party was over but it all depends on the weather. So Sunday gets here and I never heard back from her. I called her cell phone but she is one of those people that her cell phone is pretty much used only for outgoing emergency calls. It is almost 2 o clock and the baby is exhausted and so is the 3 yr old. I don't know if I should put them down for naps or not because I have no clue when or if my parents are coming. They drive a 5 hr drive, stay for 2 hrs and then drive 5 hrs back so I feel bad if they don't get to see the grandkids because they are napping. I finally got ahold of my brothers girlfriend who told me that my brother talked to them around 9am and they said they were coming out here, but nobody knows where they were when the call was made so I still don't know when they will arrive. Finally my mom answers her phone and she says they are in town and went to eat they will be at our house in 5 mins. 30 mins later they show up. They bring mostly junk. Stuff from garage sales and auctions. I try to be nice and put up with that. I put teh baby down but keep up the horribly cranky 3 yr old. Then my mom goes on and on about a 50 yr old cousin and how he can't take care of his mom because he doesn't know how to drive or call the hospital so basically my mom is dong everything for them. Then she goes on about how my 32 yr old brother is bugging her about doing a resume and a job application because he doesn't know how to use the computer and can't even remove a staple and make copies. It just irritates me so much!!!!! There is no reason why my bro and my cousin can't be functioning adults. It's like everyone in that town lives in a cave.

So anyway it starts to snow flurry when my parents leave. So my mom calls me this morning and tells me how BAD the roads were and my father couldn't see anything they couldn't get back on the interstate. They went in the wrong direction. She has never seen it so bad and so many accidents and they didn't get home until 1:30am. And she expects me to feel bad for them??????? My mom is retired. My dad has a used car lot. He is the only person that works there and it is more of a hobby than a money maker. But my dad REFUSES to stay anywhere over night. Hotels are dirty and he has to sleep in his own bad so they can't stay with us. Instead they do this ridiculous 10 hour drive and want me to feel bad. My dad gets PO'd at me if I ever ask for help because "I shouldn't have moved so far away" I am the only one in my family that ever graduated from college and the only one who seems to have a half way understanding of how the world works because I can function with out my mom or dad. It is just so irritating hearing the same thing over and over again when there is a simple solution....STAY THE FREAKIN NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Repti.Mom · #2 January 30th, 2012, 07:36 AM

I always giggle when you mention the little junk. I can see how it would get frustrating after years. Not to mention she's just filling up a landfill herself because no one wants her crap i'm sure!

Maybe next time you have a party just 'forget' to mention it to them? If word gets back that they missed it then tell them exactly what you just told us up there^

Farmers-wife · #3 January 30th, 2012, 07:38 AM

I am laughing with you, not at you. They are what they are. I understand because mine are almost the exact same way. Parents and everyone are crazy, but my sister and cousins are fine.

Anyway, the mistake you made was keeping the kids up. Never, under any circumstances, go against cranky, napneeding kids. Your parents get there when they get there, leave when they leave. Not your problem. You kids go to bed when they are tired, get up when they are ready. People visit when they can. My inlaws go many visits without seeing the baby of the family because they get here and leave during naptime. OK.

#5in2005 · #4 January 30th, 2012, 08:00 AM

I'd feel the same way as you do. Sigh.

cnote · #5 January 30th, 2012, 08:23 AM

I was fine with everything, just shrugged it all off. Even listened to my Dh complain about them after they left. But the phone call this morning with that "Poor Me" attitude was just the straw that broke the camel's back I guess. When I started to go off she didn't even understand where I was coming from she actually said, "I don't understand how this is an inconvenience to you?"

Do most people drive 10hrs and stay 2hrs? Is that really normal? Yes it is an inconvenience to us! They will never come on a Saturday because they will miss an Auction day. And my father can't leave before 8am because he needs to have a bowel movement first. Really, this is what they tell me. My mom once said she couldn't stay overnight with us because my dad wouldn't water the flowers and they may die.

I feel like I bend over backwards to accommodate them and then they have the nerve to expect ME to feel Sorry for THEM!!! GRRRRRRRR...I am so fired up right now!

Repti.Mom · #6 January 30th, 2012, 09:30 AM

That's my biggest problem with visiting people too. It interferes with my poop schedule.

It sounds like they both look for a lot of attention in the wrong way.

MarieJ · #7 January 30th, 2012, 09:58 AM

I'd stop accomodating, why drive yourself wild? There are some people you will never make happy. If they can't be bothered to call or show up on time, then they can wait until the kids are up from naps.
Maybe tell them to make a donation in the kids' names for gifts from now on, buy a star or something

cnote · #8 January 30th, 2012, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Repti.Mom

That's my biggest problem with visiting people too. It interferes with my poop schedule.

It sounds like they both look for a lot of attention in the wrong way.

Just like I do for my dad, I will make sure to allow for plenty of poop time if you ever come for a visit

because that is what all sane people do.

Momtothe6thpower · #9 January 30th, 2012, 11:34 AM

LOL!

I can relate, my mom has her crazy moments too. I only tolerate her because I found out at a young age my step-mom was even crazier, lol!

Counting our Blessings · #10 January 30th, 2012, 12:50 PM

This just makes me laugh

.

I'm looking at a box of "treasures" that was dropped off here from inlaws and a garbage bag of "goodies" to boot. Lucky me

I'm sorry you have to deal with that. The poop schedule made me laugh.

Remember, you can't change them. Allow yourself to laugh at the situation and dont' let it upset you.

Hope the birthday party went well!