[Farmers-wife]

So my husband said my butt was sexy. I said it was 3 times its intended size, so therefore, it wasn't. He said if he says a thing is sexy, I am not allowed to say otherwise. Fair enough.

Here is where you come in: would you be more bothered by him calling women who look just like you "hideous" or him commenting on an attractive woman?

[Repti.Mom]

I don't expect my husband to oogle over other women, so if he was going on and on about how other women are sooo hot etc we'd probably get a divorce. On the other hand he probably doesn't think the women that are hideous look like you in one bit. I'd say the attractive woman thing bothers me more.

[UrbanMomma]

^ ditto.

Of course no one looks like me. Im not saying I'm fine or hawt or sexy or whatever I'm just me, but I am not hideous (far from it). If you don't want me, and want to oogle other women then leave me be and go on the other side of the fence where the grass is greener. See ya.

Kinda makes me think about the looking on the internet thing and the "men are visual creatures" thing.

Ohh and if your booty is three times bigger then it should be then you'd be appreciated in the hood.

[Farmers-wife]

I am so moving to Detroit!

He didn't let me add in the explanations. He said it had to be blind without any of my thinking.

We will be talking about a friend of mine or see someone in a store or something. And he will be all "eeeewwww", when she is a regular woman, my age, my size.

He never says "she is pretty" or anything. But then turns around and says I am hot. I think his response to others is more realistic. So, I said, that is what he REALLY thinks of me. He says I am nuts. I said he should comment more on what he finds attractive in others and (even if he is making it up) I will compare myself and go "oh, my butt is that big, cool".

When I put the original question up, he made me take out two sentences of explanation.

[UrbanMomma]

My husband checks out black women on the internet. I am sure if he does it on the net he does it at work and what not too. I get what you are saying. I agree. My dh never checks out white women, ever. Makes me feel like he really isn't that attracted to me sometimes. I don't know. My womanly insecurities, maybe. His actions don't help though.

I am the first white woman dh has ever been with. He has always been with black women. Sometimes I kinda feel like an experiment. Other than "Ms Juicy" (for those of you who know who that is) he seemed to prefer smaller women too, and I am not small. This is why we have no pics of us. I am 2" taller and 75 pounds (not preggo) heavier than him. He is as big as a minute. Matter of fact, when I first met dh, one of his "regular" size friends said to him "Boy you can't handle all that woman." Not in a mean way...to me....just....

On another note....my booty is appreciated. I definitely don't have a white girl booty and I work it!

Maybe you should walk around with dh and say "ewwwww" to men who look like him. LOL

[UrbanMomma]

Ohhh I meant to say too, while he is sometimes making me feel like I am not good enough, I feel like reminding him he is going bald, has ashy knees and has a chocolate donut belly, so it isn't like he is The Rock or something. LOL But I never do...because I love him balding, ashy, pokey belly and all.

[HeavensMom]

Um, so funny!

[cnote]

The calling a woman who looks like me hideous is the most bothersome.

Not that I look anything like her but my husband thinks that Kim Kardashian is hideous. I sit there and think if you find a woman that most men drool over as hideous then I must look like a monster to you.

I finally understand where he is coming from because it is not her looks as much as it's her personality. I find Tom Cruise to be ugly but it's completely because of his personality. Yes he is attractive but he is so odd that I don't see him as attractive. I think that is what my DH is going for with the Kim Kardashian thing but it was really bothersome before I understood what he meant.

[Momtothe6thpower]

I don't really know how to answer because I don't think (that I can remember anyway) that we've had a conversation like that. Usually the only thing we compare is hollywood stars we are attracted to and how they compare to us. For example, I have ridiculous crushes on Jimmy Fallon and Adam Sandler because I love their sense of humor. My dh has a similar sense of humor so it all goes hand in hand. No reason to be bothered. Dh is attracted to great smiles, Julia Roberts and Catherine Zeta Jones. I'm not bothered because I have a great smile.

Ok, so after typing that out and re-reading your posts, I realized that we are commenting on what we find attractive in general.

[Repti.Mom]

I don't think Kim Kardashian is attractive by any means at all, doesn't mean that I don't think other women are beautiful. The oompa loompa skin turns me off. lol

[UrbanMomma]

I know a lot of men that like KK.....again, whatever, she wouldn't be giving their wallets....oops, I meant them, the time of day anyway.

[#5in2005]

I guess it bothers me more when dh makes the negative comments about someone else, because he never makes any comment about anyone attractive.

He hardly ever makes any comment about someone's physical attributes, but he does notice if they're wearing really frightening outfits that highlight those unattractive physical attributes or if someone is trying WAY to hard to look sexy.

[cnote]

Originally Posted by #5in2005

I guess it bothers me more when dh makes the negative comments about someone else, because he never makes any comment about anyone attractive.

He hardly ever makes any comment about someone's physical attributes, but he does notice if they're wearing really frightening outfits that highlight those unattractive physical attributes or if someone is trying WAY to hard to look sexy.

We went to Best Buy tonight and before we were out the door my DH's was saying some jibberish about going back to Kansas/Clicking Heels/Wizard of Oz because of some girls red shoes that I barely noticed. He seems to notice things that I don't pay any attention to. Clearly we are just very different people.

[vilamumto4]

I ditto cnote on this one. My DH also comments on a woman's 'looks' when in fact I think it's her personality he finds unattractive. He doesn't like Angelina Jolie and thinks she's 'ugly'?!

However, he does think Kylie Minogue is gorgeous and I'm as far from her as one can get. Tall, brunette, brown eyes with big hands and feet!

[Farmers-wife]

I don't think Jolie is that beautiful either. Too much surgery. I have nothing to say about her personality or ability because I have no knowledge, but her face looks like one too many trips under the knife for me.

[clouise]

Definitely the hideous comment...that would be so rude. Even if the woman looked nothing like me I would still give him the stink eye.