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Help, Im pregnant again!


Forum: Large Families

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  #1  
March 28th, 2012, 09:35 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 132
I have 6 children. 14,7,5,3,and 17month twins. Beleive it or not I have a hard time getting Pg. Thus the 7 year gap. baby # 3 was a surprise but most of the others have taken months and clomid. After 4 kids, we said 1 more. We live on a teachers salery and money is tight. When 1 last baby was twins we were surprised, overwhelmed, and excited. DH was supposed to have a vasectomy and in the mean time we have been using NFP and spermacides. Not the most fool proof birth control but we really didnt think we needed it at all.

We had not intended to have more. Money being the biggest factor but time energy and patience play a big role. My house if full, my car is full, and I am terrified and exhausted. People already give us dirty looks and make inconsiderate comments. I live in a small community where we know most people and there will be no shortage of shock and disaproval. I would like to pretend I dont care but I do.

My oldest is going to high school and while I love my babies, I was looking forward to the next step. I have been doing this for 14 years and now I had just 18 months till my babies started preschool and I got a precious few minutes to myself. And less than a year left of diapers.

I dont know how I am going to make it through these months of VERY busy toddlers, speech, OT, summer rec, sports, swimming lessons, gardening etc. All while pregnant. I have never had easy pregnancies. Although I dont usually have major complications.

I need to find a way to be ok with this. Thanks for the vent. any advice is appreciated.
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  #2  
March 28th, 2012, 09:44 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 2,696
First Welcome! and take a deep breathe .

Other people have been taken by surprise pregnancies as well. As far as money, it'll work out. Most of us all live on tight budgets, some of us tighter than others . Give yourself a little time to absorb this.

Maybe cutting back on a few activities would just ease general stress on you and also helps on the budget. Most kids from a large family understand there is limited time and money. If you are not feeling well, the older ones can sure help with the little ones or make dinner. Everyone can help out and love and take care Mama for this season.

Best of luck! There is lots of good advice here and a nice group of ladies.
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  #3  
March 28th, 2012, 10:00 AM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 15,641
My oldest is 10 and he helps out with some of the stuff I just don't feel like doing. He actually makes a bed better than I do! I don't make him cook dinner or anything, but if I was on bed rest or something he could do it a few nights a week, for simple stuff, and again he's only 10 and he likes helping out! I think Mari is right, large family kids understand and they actually like helping each other in most cases.

I don't think any of us are rich by any means, but of course all of us worry, so that's natural. Everything will work out just fine.
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  #4  
March 28th, 2012, 10:05 AM
Mom to 8 amazing kids
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Melba, Idaho
Posts: 2,617
I was in your exact position 2 years ago. We already had 7 and I was DONE! Or so I thought, my concerns were a little more selfish. I knew that financially things always work out, I knew that there might be a few rude remarks which I didn't care about it. For me it was I was finally seeing an end and I felt 7 was complete. Hald of mine were graduating or going to and the other's were at a good age.

When I say I was bitter and pissed I am being nice. I hate being pregnant, from about the 3rd month on I am sick as a dog and just plain miserable. I honestly did not want to do it again. I was not enthusiastic about it, really I saw the pregnancy as a parasite and just could not wait for it to be over. I know that that sounds horrible but it was how I felt.

Then she was put into my arms and everything I felt went away. I could not and can not imagine my life without her. She is personality personified and always keeps us laughing....it helped that she was a really easy going baby and for the most part is an easy going 2 year old (she's still 2 though )

I'm sure once the shock wears off you will see the blessing in it. Give yourself some time to really digest it.
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  #5  
March 28th, 2012, 10:16 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,087
(((Hugs))) to you. I agree, try to slow down and take time to let the news settle in. Try not to bombard yourself all at once with all of the thoughts circling in your head.
Things will settle into place, they always do.
Finances are hard. You have time to sit down in the next few months and try and evaluate everything. Look at your bills, your extra curriculars, see where you can adjust, if you can adjust. See where you can save money, look for idea's. There are so many good money saving blogs, couponing sites etc. these things all help in our big family!
Sometimes its hard not to worry about what other people think. If you can try and come to a place of peace about where you are at I think it will help. Dh always used to tell me "You worry too much about what other people think". I think I did. When I got to a place where I knew I do the best that I can for everybody it really helped me to not really care so much what others think. I have my family, we love eachother, that's what matters. With that being said, I'm sure I would be nervous about telling everyone if I were PG again, so I do understand what you are feeling. However, you are the one taking care of your family, not them.

((Hugs)) to you.
Our house gets crazy too like many large families, there's schooling, conferences, doctors appointments, soccer, dance and so many other things to juggle in. When I am feeling overwhelmed I try and just break down the to do list into one day at a time.
How does dh feel? Is he home to help any?
Your 14 year old could also be a big help for you to utilize.
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  #6  
March 28th, 2012, 02:45 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,272
I would react the very same way as you if I were to find out I was pregnant. I'd need a while to adjust. Give yourself a little time
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  #7  
March 28th, 2012, 05:07 PM
Momtothe6thpower's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Smalltown, USA
Posts: 7,280
I'd have similar reaction too! Possibly worse if I found out today, lol. I agree that you just need some time. It's hard to think things through when your still shocked and somewhat grieving for the path you thought you were going to take.
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  #8  
March 28th, 2012, 07:38 PM
~mommy~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 3,478
Hello, welcome and congratulations!!
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  #9  
March 29th, 2012, 04:14 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 696
Welcome and Congratulations!! I am very excited about our newest one on the way, but I am nervous about telling everyone and their reactions. Dh says to just not care as does my best friend, but it is hard sometimes.

I agree that you just need some time to digest the information. You still have 9 months before the baby arrives to get ready. Money is always tight here too, but somehow we manage to get by with all the necessities and some extras.

Big (((hugs))) you will be fine and you can do this!
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