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Maybe I shouldn't have waited...


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  #1  
March 28th, 2012, 09:14 PM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Maybe I shouldn't have waited til I was 42 1/2 weeks, contracting, and losing mucous to bring this up with you all, but I need some advice! I have a few issues I need to deal with.

1) my friend. She is a great friend, would do anything in the world for me, and has helped me deliver #5-8 ad now wants to go to doula school because of me! But I am so annoyed by her right now. I feel smothered and suffocated. She is hard for others to love, can be grating, snobbish, rude, and offensive. But so can I so I made a decision many years ago to just be her friend, no matter what. I don't want her to come to this birth. I want to be alone with my husband and #3,4 who are coming to observe. But I know as soon as I do, it will bite me in the butt because my dh has come to rely on er for the doula stuff and he just does the strong man stuff (help me up, lift me if needed,support my weight, etc). and for me not to call her would really hurt her. So I would have to make it look like an accident. She lives 10 mins from hospital, I live 45. No way she would believe it happened too fast, etc.

2) my daughter. #1 will be 16 next week. She is smart and capable, but can be a bwitch. She can be down right mean to the boys and babies. To be honest, I don't trust her to be nice to them while I am gone. I don't know what to do. I don't trust her to o anything but what she wants to do the whole time, whether it is tv, fb, her writing, her practicing, etc. I have plans with a friend to come over to visit tomorrow. I almost want to ask her to come even if I am not here just to keep #1 honest!

3) I am a little nervous! Will she be ok? How much will it hurt? Will I be able to nurse? I thought being old and experienced would end this!

Thanks for listening.
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  #2  
March 28th, 2012, 09:33 PM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Bloody show has officially left the building. Last time I had that was with #3 and it was 2 weeks after that she was born! I don't think this will take 2 days! I may make a march baby yet. Going to bed. Wil update when I have updates.
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  #3  
March 29th, 2012, 12:23 AM
~mommy~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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It will all work out the way it's supposed to. The friend should understand, if she intends to go into this line of work, pg. women want what they want and you shouldn't take it personally. dd1 is a teenager, it's her job to be a "bwitch" if she's anything like my teenager, she will be able to pull it together and step up when you need her to......just make sure to tell her you need her to and are depending on her. You had confirmation from the dr. that baby is just fine...perfect, right where she is supposed to be. It will hurt like!@#$%^&*() (side note fyi they have drugs for that ) If you want to nurse, you will be able to. You are a strong woman you've been there done this, you can do it.
NO the uncertainty will never end, no matter how many dc you have.
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  #4  
March 29th, 2012, 03:50 AM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Starting to time cx and get bag ready! It might be today!
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  #5  
March 29th, 2012, 04:41 AM
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I hope today is the day!

1) Can you forget her phone number? Just don't call her and ask forgiveness later. Don't worry about it, you and the baby come first now, don't worry about anyone else and their hurt feelings etc.

2) Have the friend come visit. She sounds like a typical 16 yr old to me.

3) I am in favor of epi's myself. Normal jitters even if you have done this a whole bunch.
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  #6  
March 29th, 2012, 04:47 AM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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1) would be like me forgetting the web address to JM.

2) good plan

3) yeh, I know. Thanks!

Bag ready, showered, laundry running. If today isn't the day, I am going to cry.

Oh, I am not posting to fb until I decide wha o do about the friend so don't post there.
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  #7  
March 29th, 2012, 07:09 AM
Momtothe6thpower's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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If your friend truly has the doula spirit she will understand. It's your birth, your decision.

Tell the teen her ability to drive depends heavily on her babysitting skills.

I can't believe she is finally coming, lol! The pain is a good thing. Nurse her as soon as you can. And I'll pray for a safe delivery and a healthy baby. (((HUGS))) and relax!
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  #8  
March 29th, 2012, 07:17 AM
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Sounds promising for today. I really don't know what I would do about the friend call her while at the hospital tell her you thought it was a false alarm once ur in labor she might not annoy u as much. I would definitely have the friend come over and check up on ur oldest dd. I like the babysitting skills connected to the driving skills. Yes it will hurt but it's nothing u can't handle. Sure u can breastfeed pop her on the boob as soon as she gets there good luck can't wait to hear her birthstory.
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  #9  
March 29th, 2012, 07:19 AM
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Quote:
If your friend truly has the doula spirit she will understand. It's your birth, your decision.
Very agreed!!

Lets lock all 15.16. 17 yo's in a basement until they pass a common sense test!! Good luck with that one. My 17 yo will step up when needed but my 15 yo is pretty much useless and self absorbed.

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A March baby!!!! C'mon baby girl Farmer!!!!!!!!!!

I like the pain, I'm a weirdo. LOL I hate, hate, hate breastfeeding. Can't do it, it never works. Its good I live in a time where there is formula.
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  #10  
March 29th, 2012, 07:41 AM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I've never found breastfeeding hard. I only even TRIED to breastfeed my last two though, it's just was surprisingly easy! You can do it, even if it's just for a few months, if you really want to.

I'm a weirdo like UM. I feel like I have to earn my babies, if I don't have pain I might ask them to put it back and make it hurt more lol

The daughter will know you are counting on her, but I would have someone come check on her. Maybe make the computer's 'broken' for the time you are gone. TV I wouldn't because I know my little's would want to watch it too.
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  #11  
March 29th, 2012, 09:45 AM
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Hopefully the baby comes soon!

As for the friend maybe tell her that as much as you would love for her to be their with you. The place you need her the most is at home with the other chicklets, that right now they need her more then you? Might work.

As for the 16 year old. She won't do it your way, the house will probably be a mess but if the kids are taken care of, fed and in general good health. She's done her job, the hardest part for me is realizing that they won't do it my way. Letting go a little helps me see that they are capable, just in the way a 16/17/18 year old will be.
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  #12  
March 29th, 2012, 10:17 AM
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PP has great advice.

Thinking of you and hoping all is going well! You have done this before and you can do it again! Holding your newborn is worth is all! But I know personally it doesn't take away the fear. Saying a prayer for strength and a great birth!
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  #13  
March 29th, 2012, 10:40 AM
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i agree -mom2many had great advice.

God be with you today as your baby girls joins the world. i will be checking often for any news.
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  #14  
March 29th, 2012, 12:49 PM
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Looking forward to hearing some baby news today.

Hoping you have a great delivery and that all will go well Or has gone well, I hope you're holding your baby right now!
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  #15  
March 29th, 2012, 01:53 PM
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NO advice to add although PP's had great advice. I hope things are going smoothly...can't wait to hear an update!!!
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  #16  
March 29th, 2012, 01:54 PM
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thinking of you!
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  #17  
March 29th, 2012, 02:07 PM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I had a March baby! She was 9#9oz. Born at 12:04pm. All is well! #3 caught, #4 cut cord. It was a great labor, great delivery. But I am done!
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  #18  
March 29th, 2012, 02:22 PM
~mommy~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!! Welcome to the world little baby farmer.
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  #19  
March 29th, 2012, 05:33 PM
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Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Glad to hear everything went well!
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  #20  
March 29th, 2012, 06:08 PM
Momtothe6thpower's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I want to hear the story around #3 catching and #4 cutting. Was this planned before? I think that's so cool!
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