how you deal with unsupportive family.

wishing · #1 May 1st, 2012, 01:52 PM

How do you deal with unsupport family. My family has never been supportive of my decission to have children. I thought it was because I had chosen to be a single mom doing it using donor but I have now remarried and they are still very unsupportive. I understand some of there reasons (my medical past).

Wondering if family and friends are supportive of your decission to have a larger family, how do you deal with unsupportive family. Does it influence your decission process.

My DH thinks I should just ignore them and not let them influence me. However its easier said then done when it comes to family.

MIL2lissy8 · #2 May 1st, 2012, 04:11 PM

i really don't let my family influence my decisions -- i just rely on myself and God to do what is right and best for me and mine. that does not mean it hurts less -- not at all. i used to let it get to me but lately i just havetried to accept that we will make different choices and not take it personally.

UrbanMomma · #3 May 1st, 2012, 04:15 PM

I don't deal with them. Its my life, not theirs, if they don't like my decisions they are more than welcome to tell someone who cares....not me.

jhmomofmany · #4 May 2nd, 2012, 05:52 AM

ITA with UrbanMomma..... It's not open for discussion with them. One relative is a big-time liberal, so if she ever asked I'd just tell her it's my body, my choice and she can stay out of my bedroom.

Bekki · #5 May 2nd, 2012, 03:34 PM

My family is not supportive. It doesn't affect our decisions, but I hate telling everyone. We usualy just send and email and tel them we will only talk to them whe they can keep their opinions t themselves.

wishing · #6 May 2nd, 2012, 04:07 PM

Bekki thats the part I worry about the most its the telling them. I am actually making myself sick thinking about getting pregnant and having to tell my family.

Farmers-wife · #7 May 2nd, 2012, 04:22 PM

We just put it on fb. My mil has been cowed by all my friends well wishes.

Kierasmom · #8 May 2nd, 2012, 07:10 PM

I really don't care about their opinion.

kathydavid · #9 May 7th, 2012, 08:09 PM

Setting boundaries is a life saver. If you know that someone is a problem you can definitely tell them what you will and will not talk to them about. If they go over that line you change the subject. If they do it a second time you tell them you're not talking about it and change the subject again. If they do it a third time you end the conversation. Eventually you'll train them to leave it alone!

Sour Amaretto · #10 May 7th, 2012, 08:39 PM

Boundaries ARE a lifesaver!! Since my family couldnt stay within them we dont speak. I dread telling DH's family and we are only at number 4...now I'm at the point where im like F THEM...they aren't paying for any of them so whats its matter!

wishing · #11 May 7th, 2012, 08:47 PM

My sister has told me that its a sign of mental health to want children. She has said she feels its an obsession and I should get it checked. My mother told me after my son died that he never should have been born.

I know that I shouldnt care its there issue not mine but I love them and dont want to cut them out of my life. Its so hard.

8miraclez · #12 May 7th, 2012, 10:20 PM

My last baby, I didn't tell my family about until I was over 20wks. I didn't want to tell them at all, but my mom was coming to stay with us. By me not telling them, I think they got the hint because no one said anything negative.

If my Mom had said that, I don't think we'd be talking ever again. I often want to tell people that say I shouldn't have kids, that maybe they shouldn't have been born too. I have to just hold my tongue and remember that they are just morons.