Log In Sign Up

how you deal with unsupportive family.


Forum: Large Families

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Like Tree4Likes
  • 2 Post By UrbanMomma
  • 1 Post By jhmomofmany
  • 1 Post By Farmers-wife

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Large Families LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
May 1st, 2012, 01:52 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 2,684
How do you deal with unsupport family. My family has never been supportive of my decission to have children. I thought it was because I had chosen to be a single mom doing it using donor but I have now remarried and they are still very unsupportive. I understand some of there reasons (my medical past).

Wondering if family and friends are supportive of your decission to have a larger family, how do you deal with unsupportive family. Does it influence your decission process.

My DH thinks I should just ignore them and not let them influence me. However its easier said then done when it comes to family.
__________________
MOM of 6!

Thanks to Bokkechick for my wonderful Siggy!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
May 1st, 2012, 04:11 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: southern cali
Posts: 3,258
i really don't let my family influence my decisions -- i just rely on myself and God to do what is right and best for me and mine. that does not mean it hurts less -- not at all. i used to let it get to me but lately i just havetried to accept that we will make different choices and not take it personally.
__________________
what goes around, comes around.....
speak with kindness....

~~terre~~
Reply With Quote
  #3  
May 1st, 2012, 04:15 PM
UrbanMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Somewhere near Detroit, MI
Posts: 8,908
Send a message via Yahoo to UrbanMomma
I don't deal with them. Its my life, not theirs, if they don't like my decisions they are more than welcome to tell someone who cares....not me.
Kierasmom and Sour Amaretto like this.
__________________
Jenifer....The Queen Bee
#12 is on the way
Reply With Quote
  #4  
May 2nd, 2012, 05:52 AM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Upper Michigan
Posts: 14,233
Send a message via Yahoo to jhmomofmany
ITA with UrbanMomma..... It's not open for discussion with them. One relative is a big-time liberal, so if she ever asked I'd just tell her it's my body, my choice and she can stay out of my bedroom.
Sour Amaretto likes this.
__________________
~Jennifer, wife of one, mother of many

Robert: 18 Raechel: 17 Daniel: 14 Joseph: 12 Thomas: 10 Mary Mae: 6 Lucy Marie: 4 and John Anthony, 1!!

Always Missing our Angels: Hope (7-8-06 @36w) and Francis (7-4-12 @12w)


I've lost 60 pounds, and I'm stronger than ever! No gimmicks, no BS, just exercise, nutrition, and support from the awesome Fitness and Weight Loss board here at JM!! Click the blinkie to join us!



Reply With Quote
  #5  
May 2nd, 2012, 03:34 PM
Bekki's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 479
My family is not supportive. It doesn't affect our decisions, but I hate telling everyone. We usualy just send and email and tel them we will only talk to them whe they can keep their opinions t themselves.
__________________

Thank you, Claire1979, for the siggy!
Reply With Quote
  #6  
May 2nd, 2012, 04:07 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 2,684
Bekki thats the part I worry about the most its the telling them. I am actually making myself sick thinking about getting pregnant and having to tell my family.
__________________
MOM of 6!

Thanks to Bokkechick for my wonderful Siggy!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
May 2nd, 2012, 04:22 PM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 6,179
We just put it on fb. My mil has been cowed by all my friends well wishes.
MIL2lissy8 likes this.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
May 2nd, 2012, 07:10 PM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 23,763
I really don't care about their opinion.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #9  
May 7th, 2012, 08:09 PM
Regular
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 90
Setting boundaries is a life saver. If you know that someone is a problem you can definitely tell them what you will and will not talk to them about. If they go over that line you change the subject. If they do it a second time you tell them you're not talking about it and change the subject again. If they do it a third time you end the conversation. Eventually you'll train them to leave it alone!
__________________
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Hellen Keller
Reply With Quote
  #10  
May 7th, 2012, 08:39 PM
Sour Amaretto's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: NC
Posts: 8,006
Send a message via Yahoo to Sour Amaretto
Boundaries ARE a lifesaver!! Since my family couldnt stay within them we dont speak. I dread telling DH's family and we are only at number 4...now I'm at the point where im like F THEM...they aren't paying for any of them so whats its matter!
__________________
~*Kelly*~

Wife to: J
Mommy to:
Minion 1 2*3*05
Minion 2 6*3*08
Minion 3 7*22*11
Minion 4 7*30*12
Minion 5 due 9/20/13
Reply With Quote
  #11  
May 7th, 2012, 08:47 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 2,684
My sister has told me that its a sign of mental health to want children. She has said she feels its an obsession and I should get it checked. My mother told me after my son died that he never should have been born.

I know that I shouldnt care its there issue not mine but I love them and dont want to cut them out of my life. Its so hard.
__________________
MOM of 6!

Thanks to Bokkechick for my wonderful Siggy!
Reply With Quote
  #12  
May 7th, 2012, 10:20 PM
8miraclez's Avatar Formerly Halfbaked
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 7,472
My last baby, I didn't tell my family about until I was over 20wks. I didn't want to tell them at all, but my mom was coming to stay with us. By me not telling them, I think they got the hint because no one said anything negative.

If my Mom had said that, I don't think we'd be talking ever again. I often want to tell people that say I shouldn't have kids, that maybe they shouldn't have been born too. I have to just hold my tongue and remember that they are just morons.
__________________


To read updates about our baby born with major birth defects, like our Facebook page
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:36 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0