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Forum: Large Families

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  #1  
June 26th, 2012, 11:28 AM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
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Maybe I should say first that this is NOT the vibe I have *ever* gotten from this particular forum.

Do you ever get around other large families (online or IRL) and get the feeling that they are in competition with you or with each other? There was one time this was made clear to me when I was hanging out with a couple other moms of large families and one mom said to me that "so-and-so" (referring to another mom) "had five babies in the time it took you to have two!" Like I was losing the baby-making competition.

(Side note, that comment really pissed me off b/c in that time we had also lost our daughter, so *for the record* I had had three babies.)

First of all, there was a time when I would have been more than happy to have a baby every 10 months, but that's just not how my body works. Breastfeeding delays my periods for a year and a half. Now that I'm a (little) older, I am REALLY THANKFUL that I have had 2.5 or so years between babies. And besides, if the "quiverfull" mindset is that children are a blessing from God... doesn't it seem wrong to think of those blessings like points in a game, and that you should "win" that game at any cost?

I was just wondering if ya'll run into this or if it is just me being overly sensitive.
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  #2  
June 26th, 2012, 12:24 PM
UrbanMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'd answer but I'm busy trying to make another baby.......lmao

Yeah, some people come across like that.
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  #3  
June 26th, 2012, 01:04 PM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yeah I'm not even scored high enough with my OWN family. I feel like it's a competition a lot. For example my mom has to remind me that my cousin has 8 kids, and that my brother's new baby mama is having their kid in July (during my 'birthday season', and that we should space apart our kids. Then she got mad at me for saying it's not in my control when he jumps in the sack with random chicks LMAO.
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  #4  
June 26th, 2012, 01:58 PM
KrazE's Avatar ShutTheFrontDoor
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  #5  
June 26th, 2012, 02:18 PM
Momtothe6thpower's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I haven't encountered that but that's a competition I don't mind losing, lol!
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  #6  
June 26th, 2012, 04:14 PM
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I haven't really come across it either.

The type of "competition" I encounter is about preemies. People that feel dramatic about their 36 weeker spending a week in the hospital just hate hearing my 32 weeker was in for 5 weeks. Or that they know a 26 weeker that was in for 3 months.
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  #7  
June 26th, 2012, 06:19 PM
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to bad. I haven't really noticed it. Most of our friends, have 4 at the most, and are happy with four, so there is really no competition.
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  #8  
June 26th, 2012, 07:39 PM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Usually when my irl lf friends get to chatting about other lfs, it is very complimentary and encouraging. Like "um is up to 10 now!", "wow how wonderful! I heard Christi is having another one too." "cool". But I dont think we look down on those who only have a few. But I have heard that some who only have 1 or a few feel like they are less than or aren't really part of the group. So I try to be sensitive to that.
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  #9  
June 26th, 2012, 10:14 PM
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I don't know anyone IRL with more than three kids and I've totally lost out on this board, so no race here
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  #10  
June 26th, 2012, 11:40 PM
8miraclez's Avatar Formerly Halfbaked
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I get the opposite. My mom had 7 kids. She told me, after I had Nattie, "you know, you don't have to beat me". My brother having 10 kids is fine though. Go figure.

Quote:
Originally Posted by #5in2005 View Post
The type of "competition" I encounter is about preemies. People that feel dramatic about their 36 weeker spending a week in the hospital just hate hearing my 32 weeker was in for 5 weeks. Or that they know a 26 weeker that was in for 3 months.
I never get people who have to compare like that. The one that rubs me is people telling me their 32 weeker Only had to stay a week. As if their baby is superior or something.
Also, the ones who go on about having to be on bedrest for a week. It makes me want to say "let me just pull out that blue ribbon for you right now."
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  #11  
June 27th, 2012, 04:09 AM
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I haven't encountered it personally, but it doesn't surprise me.

I do know a guy who informed my husband once that he was "beating him" in terms of boys, because he had 4 and Ash has 2. Didn't realise we were in a boy-making competition, but there you go.
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  #12  
June 27th, 2012, 06:32 AM
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I win!! LOL!! (well, I guess really Christie wins...) J/K! LOL!

We do this jokingly with another family of 12 that we know - it's fine between our families, but then others try to pin us against each other and we hate it.
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  #14  
June 27th, 2012, 12:07 PM
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Quote:
I do have one aquentince who got married right out of high school and has been making babies ever since, she's got 6 kids now. When she found out I was pregnant with my second so soon after my first she sent me a message on line that said "Are you trying to compete with me? Because I'll win, I already I have 5 kids and I'm pregnant with my sixth", I told her congrats on the pregnancy and she certenitly wins the crazy award. Then I blocked her.
Hahahaha!!!
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Robert: 18 Raechel: 17 Daniel: 14 Joseph: 12 Thomas: 10 Mary Mae: 6 Lucy Marie: 4 and John Anthony, 1!!

Always Missing our Angels: Hope (7-8-06 @36w) and Francis (7-4-12 @12w)


I've lost 60 pounds, and I'm stronger than ever! No gimmicks, no BS, just exercise, nutrition, and support from the awesome Fitness and Weight Loss board here at JM!! Click the blinkie to join us!



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  #15  
June 27th, 2012, 12:14 PM
UrbanMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thats it....I'm gonna start taking fertility drugs.....LMAO
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  #16  
June 27th, 2012, 03:14 PM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I give Rob his allergy med before bed every night, sometimes we joke around and I tell him it's his super sperm drug lol
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  #17  
June 27th, 2012, 03:42 PM
AMDG's Avatar Margaret
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I've heard stuff like this but it is always just people joking around and never meant to be serious. I have a number of friends who had babies right around the time my last was born and they are ALL pregnant again - a couple comments have been made but none of it bothers me because they are my friends and it is all in good fun.
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  #19  
June 27th, 2012, 05:45 PM
Indymommy7's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by #5in2005 View Post
I haven't really come across it either.

The type of "competition" I encounter is about preemies. People that feel dramatic about their 36 weeker spending a week in the hospital just hate hearing my 32 weeker was in for 5 weeks. Or that they know a 26 weeker that was in for 3 months.
This sort of things chaps my arse!

My 2.5 yo spend the first month of his life in the NICU an hour away from home with a life threatening (but reversible ) condition. My friend's daughter was in 2 days, yes 2 days for observation and got to go home with her but she still to this day almost 2 yrs later goes on about her daughter's "brave fight" in the NICU..... I just want to wring her neck but I will shut up now.
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  #20  
June 27th, 2012, 06:02 PM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't know anyone who acts like that. I don't know anyone that lives near us that has more kids either. I'm usually the crazy lady who keeps having kids.
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