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Gender disapointment


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  #1  
July 11th, 2012, 07:36 AM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Do you guys ever get slightly annoyed with people who voice their gender disappointment all the time?

I know some of you on here have only one gender, or had a bunch of one before having the other, how do you feel about it?

I guess the thing that makes me so upset is the comments that people get back about being disappointed. For example one lady is having her 3rd son. She is obviously not real happy about it, and some of the comments she got is that she shouldn't have more because there is no way that any household could handle 4 boys, or that three boys is going to drive her absolutely crazy!

I want to say "HEY I HAVE THREE BOYS!, maybe even 4, and my boys are nicer than my girls most times!"

Maybe I don't understand because this situation will never happen to me.
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  #2  
July 11th, 2012, 08:04 AM
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When I was pregnant with Naathaniel and during the u/s they told me he was another boy, I cried. I really wanted a girl. I'm glad I have him now, but I was disappointed at that time.
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  #3  
July 11th, 2012, 08:18 AM
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I get gender appointment. I wanted nothing but son's and when they said #2 was a girl I made them check again. Now I have 4 of each, I wouldn't trade my girls for anything, but I think when families have all of one gender, it would be nice to have something 'different'. Not that the baby is any less loved though.

My sister is pregnant, this would be her 12th pregnancy but 10th kid in the house (2 are not her's). She really wanted a boy, 2 of the boys are his, then she has 2 boys. The rest of her kids (including the twins that passed and the one placed for adoption) were/are girls. No luck, it's another girl, she's sad about it but at the end of the day really just wants a happy baby.
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  #4  
July 11th, 2012, 10:46 AM
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I think it's ok to be disappointed. It's kind of like grieving an idea you had for your life and learning to let go of it. Your sad about it for a bit then you move on and are happy.

I don't really think it's anyone else's business to comment about it though. Unless they said, sorry you didn't get your girl but 3 boys is going to be an amazing adventure.
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  #6  
July 11th, 2012, 01:43 PM
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I had 3 girls then a boy. I found out at 20 weeks, and it took me 22 weeks and 2 seconds to fall in love with him. Once he came out, I was thrilled. But those 22 weeks of wondering how I was going to raise a boy were troubling. I still have moments of panic when I think of how these four boys need to grow up and be men. I am terrified of not doing it right.
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  #7  
July 11th, 2012, 02:36 PM
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I think it okay to be disappointed.

It is not okay for an individual to go up to someone and express disappointment for them.

I got slightly rubbed the wrong way after we had Azriel, everyone and their dog said to us "WOW NOW YOUR FAMILY IS PERFECT! ONE GIRL AND ONE BOY!" all I could think was, "So if Azriel was a girl our family would not be perfect?"

Then after we had Lux so many people said to me "Oh, you would have been wanting a boy? Oh well."
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  #8  
July 11th, 2012, 02:42 PM
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We've had a 'perfect' family 3x. I just keep ruining it LOL
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  #9  
July 11th, 2012, 03:13 PM
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I had 6 girls before I had a boy everyone kept on telling me after each pregnancy that I was just trying for a boy and I would have to explain that I wasn't.
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  #10  
July 11th, 2012, 03:28 PM
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I do get annoyed when people are disappointed in the gender. I have SOOO many friends that can't have any babies at all and would be happy with either.
My first was a boy and second was a girl so everyone would say oh good your family is complete. We now have 2 boys and 2 girls and they say the same thing and we tell them nope at least one more
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  #11  
July 11th, 2012, 03:47 PM
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I had gender disappointment. I didn't express it to anyone, though. My first two were a girl and then a boy, and then we had a second boy, and after him I felt like our family was complete, but then less than a year later oops here's number 4 and I wanted him to be a girl so bad. So when they said boy, I was in denial. Didn't believe he was a he until he was born, but nor did I tell anyone I was disappointed. I think my husband knew.

Number 5 we planned, and I wanted him to be a boy, because I had the perfect boy name. Number 6, our youngest, was our oops and I just figured she would be our fifth boy. I was so shocked when they said girl I cried. Couldn't help it. I kept telling the tech "I promise I'm happy, just shocked".

I think our family is perfect.
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  #12  
July 11th, 2012, 05:03 PM
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As I said, the first three were girls. Four and five are boys. They have such different personalities and outlooks. It is like four thinks we kept trying for him. And five is just happy to be here.
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  #13  
July 11th, 2012, 06:02 PM
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I will admit to a little emotion about gender. Usually its more about what is convenient rather than wants. ie extra room in the girls bedroom.

It does drive me crazy when other people comment. We got comments like "you must be soo excited its a boy." When I was pg with my 3rd. In reality we had kindof hoped for a girl as the 2 kids were so close in age it would be easier to have them the same gender.
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  #14  
July 11th, 2012, 06:37 PM
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I have to say my #2 son thinks the world should have just been happy with him. He is so darn in love with himself, has been since he was little. The mirror is his best friend!
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  #15  
July 11th, 2012, 07:02 PM
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UM, I think that's cute!
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  #16  
July 11th, 2012, 08:04 PM
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ohhhhh PUH-LEEEEEEEEEZZZZ

I am probably a little sensitive about the whole thing, and so I don't get slightly annoyed about the gender thing, I get completely super annoyed.

I could rant about this for a long time, but I'll spare you all
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  #17  
July 12th, 2012, 11:06 PM
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I always find it odd. You go into this knowing you have 50/50 odds and if you are going to be upset with one of those then maybe it isn't time for baby makin'
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  #18  
July 13th, 2012, 02:13 PM
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It does annoy/upset me mainly because I believe that either gender children were chosen by God for that specific family and I believe God can make a better gender choice than I could for our family.

Even more what annoys me is when people assume I will be disappointed or want a certain gender baby and all the comments I got about how I finally got a girl for #3 so I could be done. Now that I'm pregnant again with a little girl we have been getting the "Oh that will be such a perfect family 2 boys, 2 girls" and either state or heavily imply that we should be done. I just say we are excited about the little girl but would be thrilled with either.

My DH has an aunt and uncle who had 7 boys and then 3 girls at the end. She is an amazing lady but I know that she did struggle with really wanting a girl after having 5 boys (and then still had two more after that) but looking back she sees how God planned out their family perfectly.
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  #19  
July 13th, 2012, 03:38 PM
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Okay, there was a gal in a certain DDC that really got crazy when she found out she was having another (her 6th) son. I mean, it was like she lost the baby or something, and everyone was giving her the 'Oh, I'm so sorry" shpiel. I'm serious, if you would have just read the responses and not the original post, you would have thought something seriously tragic occurred. Of course, when I piped in with "Boys are great, you have an awesome family, welcome the mamas of six sons club" - I was blasted b/c I have some of each.

So, yes, it really does annoy me. Can ya tell?
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  #20  
July 14th, 2012, 10:06 AM
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I always tell people that if God had wanted me to have a boy/boys I would have had them, I really believe you get who you're ment to have.

I will admit to being just a little bummed out for a day or so after my #3 was born, I wouldn't go as far as dissappointed. I think people phrase it wrong, you're not disappointed with the baby, you're just letting go of the picture you had in your mind.

If i was asked 15 years ago what gender I wanted, I would have said gimme a couple of each, but I'm really glad I didn't get to choose
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