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What makes a "Large" family?


Forum: Large Families

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  #1  
July 29th, 2012, 08:33 AM
Rebelmommy's Avatar Mommy to controlled chaos
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Where I live anyone with more than 2.. maybe 3 children is considered large and basically treated like a crazy person..LOL I have met many women on these boards with 6,7,8 12+ and I think that's wonderful, but with my current number of 4 plus one in the making I am wondering if I qualify for this board as a large family..LOL

Also I am wondering how you deal with (or do you encounter) the rude questions like "Are they all yours?" "You're done after this one right?" and the ever popular "You know you don't have to populate the world?" ect..

We also get a bit of stares and comments when we all go out together as we are all blondes, and seriously people make comments about it and stare like we are some sort of zoo exhibit. I really am trying to not let it bother me but geesshh some days it wears my patience thin
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  #2  
July 29th, 2012, 09:18 AM
Mom to 8 amazing kids
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Welcome to the board, you do qualify as a large family. I believe it is 4 or more, although I think anytime parents are out numbered a family is large lol.

I'll be back to answer your questions....
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  #3  
July 29th, 2012, 09:29 AM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I met a lady today who is the youngest of 18. She was old, like 70. Super sweet. She crammed a dollar into my bra to buy #6 a candy bar for his birthday. This all took place in the grocery checkout.
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  #4  
July 29th, 2012, 09:34 AM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My kiddos are all blond too I'm not anymore lol

I believe this forum is for people with 4 or more, so you're a 'large' family.

Honestly, I don't get comments from people IRL. The only people that make comments are on FB or over the computer. I'm sure people stare, but I'm used to it? Like FW I tend to meet the old people who stop me to tell me about their 42 1/2 siblings and what it was like growing up
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  #5  
July 29th, 2012, 10:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Farmers-wife View Post
I met a lady today who is the youngest of 18. She was old, like 70. Super sweet. She crammed a dollar into my bra to buy #6 a candy bar for his birthday. This all took place in the grocery checkout.
Seriously? lol...

I once had a sweet old lady ask if she could give each of my kids a dollar, but that was it.

We have four, and I do get some comments. I think it is more because they are all little and close in age than anything else though.
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  #6  
July 29th, 2012, 10:30 AM
therevslady's Avatar Built for Birth
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Around here (I live downtown) anything more than two is considered large. But most of my friends have 3 or more kids. I'm due with my 4th and most comments that I get are from family who thinks we're too poor to have more kids or from friends who don't understand that we enjoy family life.
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  #7  
July 29th, 2012, 11:04 AM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am too poor to have a big family.
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  #8  
July 29th, 2012, 11:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Farmers-wife View Post
I am too poor to have a big family.
I'm poor because I have a big family LOL, but wouldn't have it any other way!
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  #9  
July 29th, 2012, 12:07 PM
Rebelmommy's Avatar Mommy to controlled chaos
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Thanks you ladies. I have been lurking on this board because it is nice to see that others enjoy having large families as much as I do
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  #10  
July 29th, 2012, 12:20 PM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Where in fl are you? I am near Tallahassee.
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  #11  
July 29th, 2012, 12:39 PM
Rebelmommy's Avatar Mommy to controlled chaos
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I'm on the central/Southern East coast, near Vero Beach
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  #12  
July 29th, 2012, 12:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2many2010 View Post
I'm poor because I have a big family LOL, but wouldn't have it any other way!
My husband is a priest and a 3rd order Benedictine monk. He (with my blessing) took a vow of poverty. This does not mean that we live in desolate conditions, but that we live minimally. We have everything we need, but we are often judged because we do not have fancy things or a fancy house with a room for every child. We choose our income. I am self employed and my husband has the opportunity to name a number for his income based on our needs. And we do our best not to take more than we need. It can be stressful at times, but I feel like it's this lifestyle that helps build us into the people that we need to be in order to do the jobs we do. Sometimes people will take the time to listen to us and hear out our values, but it's astonishing that even some of our "best" friends and family refuse to understand. They are constantly obsessed with big house, new cars, and newest gadget mentality. The more kids we have, the more they like to blame our "poverty" on our irresponsibility. But in all reality, it's a lifestyle choice.
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  #13  
July 29th, 2012, 01:12 PM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Wow. Thanks for the reminder. I know we have what we need. I just want some more space.
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  #14  
July 29th, 2012, 01:17 PM
Mom to 8 amazing kids
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~~Que~~ View Post
My husband is a priest and a 3rd order Benedictine monk. He (with my blessing) took a vow of poverty. This does not mean that we live in desolate conditions, but that we live minimally. We have everything we need, but we are often judged because we do not have fancy things or a fancy house with a room for every child. We choose our income. I am self employed and my husband has the opportunity to name a number for his income based on our needs. And we do our best not to take more than we need. It can be stressful at times, but I feel like it's this lifestyle that helps build us into the people that we need to be in order to do the jobs we do. Sometimes people will take the time to listen to us and hear out our values, but it's astonishing that even some of our "best" friends and family refuse to understand. They are constantly obsessed with big house, new cars, and newest gadget mentality. The more kids we have, the more they like to blame our "poverty" on our irresponsibility. But in all reality, it's a lifestyle choice.
We just realize that as they grow up and move on, we can have a lot that some might see as "We've missed out on". My kids aren't lacking it just means we have to budget the bigger purchases in. Our day will come, and we will enjoy it more when it happens.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Farmers-wife View Post
Wow. Thanks for the reminder. I know we have what we need. I just want some more space.
Space, that I can understand. Some days seem worse then others.
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  #15  
July 29th, 2012, 02:23 PM
UrbanMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm too poor, impatient and mean tempered for my big family, but apparently God thought otherwise, everyone says He doesn't make mistakes.......
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  #16  
July 30th, 2012, 06:26 AM
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You definitely qualify Welcome.
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  #17  
July 30th, 2012, 07:56 AM
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~~waves hand~~~~ hi rebelmommy. i am terre, mommy to 4 by birth, 2 by marriage and now have 9 grandchildren. you will find lots of friends here -- we are a nice bunch!
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  #18  
July 30th, 2012, 08:07 AM
Rebelmommy's Avatar Mommy to controlled chaos
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TY for the welcome ladies
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Mommy to:
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Talon
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  #19  
July 30th, 2012, 08:31 AM
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Welcome here

We get the blonde blue eye thing too. If I were in your shoes, I would have gone crazy hearing "you finally got your boy" comments.

I'd like to be more noble about finances, not so much about having a big house and beautiful things/clothes etc, but a lot of stuff really adds up when doing it times however many times. I'm thinking stuff like music lessons. Or like a while ago, we went to heritage park (it's what it sounds like, early 1900's building etc) and it cost our family $90 to get in. Or like concerts.
I realize these are all luxury types of things, and I'm not complaining about my life but I hope you know what I mean.
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  #20  
July 30th, 2012, 08:40 AM
Rebelmommy's Avatar Mommy to controlled chaos
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Yes the boy comment was prevalent and finally got old, thankfully..LOL

We admit that our children may not have some of the things that other children here have, like season tickets to theme parks and such or expensive dance classes or lessons but we have fun and find things that out children enjoy and can learn from to do as a family that are inexpensive, like visit the botanical gardens, watch the sea turtles come ashore to nest, ect and I believe my children are happier because of it. They interact with us more than what I see most of my friends interact with their children.

And I have come to understand that my parenting style and values may not be the same as others and they are free to have their own opinions on mine, but that does not mean that I have to do it their way
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Talon
(12/05/05) Creighton (01/31/13) (05/02/14)


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