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  • 2 Post By mom2many2010
  • 1 Post By Babymakes8
  • 1 Post By cybele

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  #1  
August 10th, 2012, 06:33 AM
Babymakes8's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Ohio
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My boys fight. every. single. morning. I'm so tired of it. The oldest is 11, 9 and 7 in the middle, and a 4 yr old. This morning, the 9 yr old took a toy from the 4 yr old, and the 4 yr old was crying and screaming "give it back" so the 11 yr old, before I could get back there, says in a very snarky, nasty yell at the 4 yr old "shut up!"

It's barely 9:30 am.

I put them all back to bed. Spanking doesn't work, time outs don't work, the only thing I can figure, it's one of 2 things.

1) I have selfish brats or
2) they're not getting enough sleep at night

or both.
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  #2  
August 10th, 2012, 08:50 AM
Kristina's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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(((((hugs))))) some kids just don't get along, near the end of summer my kiddos start to fight I think it is too much togetherness and they just need a break from eachh other.
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  #3  
August 10th, 2012, 11:44 AM
UrbanMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh yeah, its definitely time to go back to school here too!!
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  #4  
August 10th, 2012, 01:33 PM
Babymakes8's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am REALLY looking forward to school starting! The 3 oldest boys will be in school and that does solve the fighting.

But (there's always a but, isn't there?) while the youngest boy will be excited to see his big brothers come home at the end of the day, they will still not want to play with him. We went through it last year. He'd get so excited and run to the front door shrieking "the kids are home! the kids are home!" and all he wants is for them to play WITH him.

I'm wondering if it's an age factor. The older 3 boys are really close in age, while he's 3 years younger than the youngest boy.

Maybe the fact that he'll have a younger sister who's toddling about this year will help. Someone he can play with while they're at school.
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  #5  
August 10th, 2012, 03:14 PM
Kristina's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh that sucks for your youngest poor boy hopefully they will be a little nicer htis year.
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  #6  
August 10th, 2012, 03:39 PM
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My kids fight, it normal, but it drives me crazy.

If they are just fighting. I stay out of it, I learned years ago that my 'help' actually made it worse. Meanness, I will step in, they need to figure out their disagreements on their own..but they do not get to be mean about it.

Some of it is age, they are at different stages. I made mine spend a half hour after they got home playing with the younger one/ones. Cause mine would always be so happy to see big siblings and then feel completely rejected when they were ignored. That put an end to it.
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  #7  
August 10th, 2012, 04:12 PM
Babymakes8's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Mom2many that is a great idea! thanks!!!
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  #8  
August 10th, 2012, 10:29 PM
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My older two never fight! My third child is quite a handful. He's not bad in public so I'm thankful for that but him and the oldest(both boys) fight more then I would like. I home-school so there's no back to school for them lol. The third hates being in his room so that usually works.
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  #9  
August 11th, 2012, 06:25 AM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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No, not brats, just siblings! I'm willing to bet they all are super nice to other kids and treat others with respect etc.

Around here it's not the boys it's the girls. Seriously everyone loves Becca, she has no problem fitting in with older kids to play, it's Sydney. At least once a day I will hear out of her mouth "everyone is meeeeeeeean to me..." The neighbor girls don't help either, you get a few of them involved and I actually believe that they are being mean to her.

I think I'm ready for school to start here too!
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  #10  
August 11th, 2012, 01:12 PM
Babymakes8's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Repti, yes, everyone who meets our kids say they are sweet and respectful and so well behaved.

I shouldn't have said "brats". I just had it up to here *positions hand at neck* lol

I think part of the problem is the 4 boys are all sharing a room currently. We're still working on the build on of the house. We're adding another bedroom so we can separate the boys 2 to a room. I'm sure that will help some of it, too.

Right now, they're all outside running off some energy before the rain starts again.
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  #11  
August 11th, 2012, 01:48 PM
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Well I would jump in the middle of it because it is the only way to teach them not to .If you don't do anything about it, it will keep happening.I usually get down to there level make them look into my eyes I tell them what they do wrong and make them say sorry to each one that they hurt.I will stay there until they do.
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  #12  
August 11th, 2012, 01:53 PM
Babymakes8's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Yes, I definitely break up the fight every time, and make them apologise to eachother. More recently I've added that they have to hug each other and say "I love you".
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  #13  
August 11th, 2012, 02:50 PM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I've threatened to handcuff the kids that fight together LOL
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  #14  
August 11th, 2012, 04:20 PM
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I have tied Lux and Sunny together by the ankles before...
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  #15  
August 11th, 2012, 04:30 PM
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Currently, I only have two who are old enough to fight. I don't intervene every time, but I do jump in every once in a while when they are fighting. Not so much to break it up, but I work with them to try to communicate their issues with each other without yelling, hitting, and arguing. I figure right now is a good time to try and help instill some good communication skills while they are still learning to communicate.

For example:

I hear my 3 year old screaming. Then I hear a smack. Then I hear my 7 year old fussing. If the back and forth continues, I go in to the room where they are fighting and ask each of them why they are upset, what happened, etc. Then I ask them to try to think of a different way to talk to their sibling. Then we try to make a lesson of character building: being kind, using kind words, etc.

We homeschool too, and I would hate to sit and just be miserable all the time while they fight and argue non stop. I know there will be a certain degree of it since that's just what kids do, but I'd try to help it not be an on-going problem.
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  #17  
August 15th, 2012, 06:34 PM
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Mine bicker and all seem to want the same toy at the same time type thing but luckily they will all spend time together they are really close. I used to find summer was an issue but I switched my kids to a school that worked on a year round calender and its helped them not get sick of each other because they are in school for 9 weeks then get a break then back into school again. They don't have long enough breaks to really get on each others nerves.
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