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Dh and I have been married for nearly 20 years. The weird thing I find about Christmas - it happens EVERY year - is the inequality in the gifts.
My FIL has a wife. Not my real MIL and this woman never had children of her own. Each year FIL and wifey give all three kids (dh and two sisters) $200 gift cards or cash equivalent. Even my nephew gets that much. I am not trying to be ungrateful - but every year I get a $50 gift card to Marshalls. It's seriously like a joke now. I hate Marshalls. Not because it's a bad store, I just don't like picking through the find something. The only reason I even go is because of the gift card. Don't you find it odd that they do that? Why wouldn't they just give dh and I a together gift?
That doesnt sound very nice really. I mean what is $50 going to buy anyways? Have you brought that up with your Dh? It would be interesting to know what you get them? But it doesnt seem that it would be something they are doing to spite you, maybe they think you love marshels and you love buying socks from their.
When I get gifts from my inlaws....they are always desinger things or gold with real gems! ...family is family in laws or not!
I've never talked to DH's dad, and only spoke to his mom on the phone one year, 5 years ago, for 30 seconds on Christmas. They've never acknowledged the kids, sent them anything etc. I'm sure Rob would probably send it back if his dad sent him anything, but his mom could treat us like we exist at least! She's sent money to his brother David many many times, and has paid for their kids to go visit her in AZ and stuff. No big deal I guess.
In your case I don't know what I would do. I've never been to Marshals to begin with. I'd take 50 to anywhere, and if my DH got a gift card to somewhere or cash it would be me spending it anyway, so it seems silly that they give you separate gifts.
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Beth, Mom to:
Noah, Jayde, Sydney, RJ, Becca, Sebastian and Weston
My parents give us a cheque and leave it up to us how we want to spend it, it's for both of us or our family, whatever.
Dh's parents give us each a chocolate letter. It's true. They give us $20 for our birthdays. So I guess at least they keep it even. I feel like telling them to stop though, if they're going to act like they're so hard up then keep your $20.
My mom gives us a joint gift of a gift card usually, and then brings me something for the house, this year she gave me some new cookie sheets. My dad gives gifts, sometimes it's something really stupid, like that 500 piece wolf puzzle last year...? He gave Rob a really nice grill set this year, and a new grill brush. He was pretty excited. They gave the kids some kind of stupid gifts though. Gave Bastian a sockem bopper? punching bag... like a 3year old needs that. It already busted a hole and is in the garbage.
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Beth, Mom to:
Noah, Jayde, Sydney, RJ, Becca, Sebastian and Weston
Both of our families are pretty good about being even. I think my Mom gives me a tad more than she gives dh, but it's not like blatantly obvious or rude.
dh is an only child and his parents and grampa give us cash, works for us!
funny thing, if you don't like Marshall's that much, trade gift cards with someone who does
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“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napoleon Hill
“I think that the best thing we can do for our children is to allow them to do things for themselves, allow them to be strong, allow them to experience life on their own terms, allow them to take the subway...let them be better people, let them believe more in themselves.”
“Motherhood is a choice you make everyday, to put someone else's happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you're not sure what the right thing is...and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong.”
i don't have in-laws....haven't since i was married the first time and i can't remember back that far!!! and now i don't have parents either so.......but in retrospect, they did 'couple' gifts as much as i remember.
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terre
i am the most blessed noni on earth -- i have 9 gorgeous grandchildren!
'For i know the plans i have for you, says the Lord.....' Jeremiah 29:11
~~ terrewrites.blogspot.com~~
I guess I may be the dissenting opininon. I fully expect that my in-laws would get my husband more than they get me. However, my husband feels that they like me better, and admittedly, I do make out pretty good with them. Likewise, though, he would expect that my parents spend more on me than they do on him.
Do other spouses get the same amount as you? I would imagine that since they keep buying you a Marshall's card, they figure that you like shopping there. Maybe hubby needs to drop some hints about other places that you would rather shop.
I dont think you are being ungrateful. Sounds like mine, lol. I always had to sit there and watch everyone else open gift after gift for the longest time and then I dont know what changed but they finally started to buy something for me as well but its always some thoughtless gift like a 25 dollar GC to some store I never go to like kohles or best buy, lol. I just say thank you and give it to my dh when we leave. It does hurt my feelings though but not much anymore like it used to. I dont really care about the gifts but I thought it was kind of rude to leave me out but now after all these years I am just like whatever. Its obviously not going to change now.
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[/COLOR][/B]RIP Jen, You will be missed. [/CENTER]
I should have clarified. I am the only spouse. Dh's sisters don't have spouses. His two sisters are not necessarily "normal". LONG story on them. Dh gets a $200 GC to Home Depot. His one sister also got 200 to Home DePot (she has a house) and the other got 200 in cash. Nephew got 200 in cash.
Seriously - this has been going on so long that everyone knows it's a joke (except my in laws apparently) and it's hard to keep a straight face when I open it. My nephew gave me a GC to DSW shoe store last year and taped a Marshall's logo over the original one. LOL My nephew currently lives in Colorado doing service work and my girls took a pic of the gift card to text him. Dh knows how I feel and to him it's no big deal. It's not really with me either - it's not like I would ever say something. EVER. I just wondered if I was wrong in thinking it's weird. I also get that gift for my birthday. My MIL loves Marshall's and she thinks I must too. My dh got $600 for his birthday from them. The kicker is that they have money. Plenty of it. I will continue to just smile and thank them.
I think it just depends on the family. One of my grandmas gives dh and I each $50 (and new socks, lol) each year. The other grandmother (who is MY grandma) always gives my dh a check or cash and tells him to share with me. My in-laws do give bigger gifts to their own sons. I never thought it was weird really. I get the same as the other two daughter-in-laws.
I would say when it comes to gifts, they are equal. We actually do a gift exchange for Christmas with the adults so not everyone gets a gift from them. For birthdays, I feel it's the same.
Once we hit 'adulthood' (around 25/30) it is an understanding in our whole family that we no longer buy gifts for each other. Then it becomes the kids turn. Birthdays are still acknowledged with gifts and cards but Christmas is reserved for the kids, but that's just us and for me it really helps take the stress out of Christmas gift buying.
If I ever did buy gifts for adults at Christmas they would be joint for married or 'together' couples as these are much easier than individual!
My in-laws tend to give me more actually lol. Well dh's dad gives us a gift together and so does his grandmother but his mom always gives me more. This year she gave me a keurig machine(lots of k-cups), a $75 gift card to a book store and a new set of flannel sheets. of course dh will use the keurig machine and sheets. For him she got him an electric griddle, 2 pairs of dress pants, flash lights and a grateful dead t-shirt,lol. On my parents side we draw names so its even there too.
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Kristina SAHM of Janessa 14, Xandria 12, Thayer 11, Alorah 9, Nathalia 7, Malayna 5, Sawyer 3 and Ryder 2 Make a pregnancy ticker
:: maybe I am being ungrateful. 
after 20 years.......
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My MIL loves Marshall's and she thinks I must too. My dh got $600 for his birthday from them. The kicker is that they have money. Plenty of it. I will continue to just smile and thank them. 
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