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  #1  
January 10th, 2013, 10:24 PM
mommy2lilmen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am currently pregnant with #8 unplanned, and I am just beginning to tell family as the sooner I get the support the better. Altho the reasons my family have for their opinions are legit, its still pissing me off. I am so upset. I am being pressured into abortion and I wont do it for THEM but I will do things for me. I am pretty much being told by my oldest sister she will disown me if I go and have this one. I wont have a life, I will be 50+ when this one be out, I will have a high debt to pay, my husband will be left to worry financially, I will always be busy with a baby, bedrest, possible still born cus of the past abruptions, pains, night wakings, ...then she says I am under strain with my oldest, and that this is a bad choice for my family, My mom has told me that the earlier the better I get an abortion but if I chose to keep it she will back me up. She will be worried yes . I want to wait till my dr confirms the pregnancy and tells me yes or no to having this. I dont want to say ok I will go abort the baby and then the dr say hey it would of been ok. I am so upset. I have 1 sister left to tell, and my kids. Not to mention my husbands family. I am so upset. I have friends who support me, ***.. I am so mad. Family thickert han blood and I am being pushed.. oh its not that big of a deal the baby was unwanted anyways. YES IT IS to me a big deal. Abortion, adoption, to have.. . I am looking at the bigger picture. THEN I have to think of my husbands decision. it is up to him to. If he wants, would it be fair I abort? Ugh, my point is, has anyone else gotten this to?? I feel so alone.
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Mommy to 7 boys and 1 girl!
Sean 16, Justin 13, Kevin 11, Jayson 10, Bryce 4, Seth 3 & Kade 1
4 babies 94,95,99, 08~TL April 2003 & Sept 2013 TR May 2008

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blessed with 1 Autistic and 1 Down Syndrome child
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alyssa Marie Jade
September 1, 2013 @ 11:01pm 6lb 8oz & 18.5in
Emerg C Sec, Down Syndrome blessing, AVSD, Hirschsprungs, G tube
58 day NICU stay, Sept 1- Oct 29 2013





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  #2  
January 11th, 2013, 05:01 AM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I wouldn't have told anyone til they noticed if you thought they would respond badly.

As for the age stuff... My husband will be 58 when the youngest leaves the house, at LEAST. That's if we don't have more. He's a worker, will always be, he doesn't worry. And who DOESN'T have problems with their teen?!?

Tell sister to stuff it.
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  #3  
January 11th, 2013, 05:34 AM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yes, married people shouldn't even consider adoption, never mind abortion. It will destroy you. Your mother and sister need to shut it.
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  #4  
January 11th, 2013, 06:49 AM
2pinks&ablue's Avatar Chantelle
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I could never consider it, but that's just me. I think you need to tell your family to mind their business, honestly. It isn't their child, so it isn't their decision.
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  #5  
January 11th, 2013, 06:53 AM
sarahlorrain's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't understand why they think you should have an abortion? You made it sound like pregnancy could be dangerous?
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  #6  
January 11th, 2013, 07:02 AM
HalfDozen's Avatar Formerly Number5OnTheWay
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My family would never begin to suggest such a thing. Even if they think we're in too deep, they would keep it to themselves. And they all KNOW better than to even bring up abortion with me. My oldest, in being a twit, suggested adoption this time around, until she found out it was a boy. Now she says we can keep it. Hubby told her that he had news for her -- we were keeping it either way!!
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  #7  
January 11th, 2013, 07:19 AM
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I would disown my family if they ever suggested I abort a child. NOT GONNA HAPPEN! I don't give a whoopty dam what anyone says about my body, my baby. They can jump off a cliff.

I will be 58ish when this baby graduates high school. Kids keep you young. And I have issues with my teens quite often, who doesn't?
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  #8  
January 11th, 2013, 07:45 AM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I do feel (dare I say look?) younger than many of my 40 something peers. They do keep us young!
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  #9  
January 11th, 2013, 07:58 AM
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I can't imagine family suggesting abortion. You are a married lady with a large family...seriously. I'm not sure what health implications you are talking about, but if it really is that dangerous to you and the baby, you should consider permanent birth control.

I just don't know what else to say. Like a lot of large families, we struggle time to time financially, but always consider a baby a blessing. I can't even imagine considering abortion, I'm just confused as to why it's even an option.

You just hit 5 weeks, you can hide it for 10 more week or so. I wouldn't tell anyone else until they ask. If your family is of their opinion, I wouldn't consider telling them, save yourself the heartache and stress.

I guess, if I'm carrying our last one (I'm 38), I'll be 56 when she's 18. No worries. We homeschool, so she might still be at home. It's never been an issue for us.
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  #10  
January 11th, 2013, 08:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy2lilmen View Post
I am currently pregnant with #8 unplanned, and I am just beginning to tell family as the sooner I get the support the better. Altho the reasons my family have for their opinions are legit, its still pissing me off. I am so upset. I am being pressured into abortion and I wont do it for THEM but I will do things for me. I am pretty much being told by my oldest sister she will disown me if I go and have this one. I wont have a life, I will be 50+ when this one be out, I will have a high debt to pay, my husband will be left to worry financially, I will always be busy with a baby, bedrest, possible still born cus of the past abruptions, pains, night wakings, ...then she says I am under strain with my oldest, and that this is a bad choice for my family, My mom has told me that the earlier the better I get an abortion but if I chose to keep it she will back me up. She will be worried yes . I want to wait till my dr confirms the pregnancy and tells me yes or no to having this. I dont want to say ok I will go abort the baby and then the dr say hey it would of been ok.
ugg this does not sound like a very good situation. I am astounded that family would suggest abortion but Im curious as why you say "their opinions are legit".
How is pregnancy dangerous to your health? that sounds scary and not something to take lightly. Im really sorry that your dealing with all this. I am glad your friends are supportive and I would lean towards them right now and take the advice of the ladies here and stay away from the negitive comments from your family. huugss to you and Im sure you will make the rigth descion for you.
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  #11  
January 11th, 2013, 12:17 PM
mommy2lilmen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahlorrain View Post
I don't understand why they think you should have an abortion? You made it sound like pregnancy could be dangerous?
My pregnancies hold a risk, health risk for me and the baby BUT if I take precautios early on I can avoid all of that, no stress, no caffeine, no lifting, etc etc.. I had an abruption last pregnancy that I was told could happen again this time around. My dr was concerned with the way my family made me feel last pregnancy and the way my oldest child was towards me that the baby could die from premature labor caused by stress. That in itself has been taken care of, the stress of my oldest boy. But now my family, (well my older sister) is causing me to be very down, and I dont know if thats good early on. I need to hear from my dr that this pregnancy will be ok if I continue through.. well I will continue through, risk or not.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AmiraX2 View Post
ugg this does not sound like a very good situation. I am astounded that family would suggest abortion but Im curious as why you say "their opinions are legit".
How is pregnancy dangerous to your health? that sounds scary and not something to take lightly. Im really sorry that your dealing with all this. I am glad your friends are supportive and I would lean towards them right now and take the advice of the ladies here and stay away from the negitive comments from your family. huugss to you and Im sure you will make the rigth descion for you.
Legit meaning, they have valid points, like I dont have a room (we figured that situation out already) we dont have a large enough vehicle, dh said he can and will get a bigger vehicle, they are worried financially, but why worry about the future when we cant control it right now, they are worried on my babies health, my health, they are worried on time to myself etc etc.. they (she) didnt give me any time to explain myself, then wehn i did I was told I was making an excuse to keep it.
The pregnancy being dangerous its only cus of the abruptions... yes my dr is concerned and is afraid with how many babies ive had back to back that my body wil just reject it. Im not taking it lightly but if I get on with a high risk dr early on, I can get it sorted, that also means to eliminate stress, get help at home. which I had none at home cus my dh was busting his butt off working to support us last pregnancy and I was in hospital last trimester cus of the stress, was at that point I got the help from peop,e and NOT from her.
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Mommy to 7 boys and 1 girl!
Sean 16, Justin 13, Kevin 11, Jayson 10, Bryce 4, Seth 3 & Kade 1
4 babies 94,95,99, 08~TL April 2003 & Sept 2013 TR May 2008

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blessed with 1 Autistic and 1 Down Syndrome child
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alyssa Marie Jade
September 1, 2013 @ 11:01pm 6lb 8oz & 18.5in
Emerg C Sec, Down Syndrome blessing, AVSD, Hirschsprungs, G tube
58 day NICU stay, Sept 1- Oct 29 2013





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  #12  
January 11th, 2013, 12:23 PM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Maybe I. Am just a cold heartless *****, but no one could make me feel so bad that it would be dangerous for the baby. No one, not one person,has that kind of power or influence on me. If my dh wanted me to abort or adopt out a baby, he would be the one to go.
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  #13  
January 11th, 2013, 12:24 PM
UrbanMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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When was the abruption, what week? Are we talking placental abruption? Partial or complete?

I had one with #7, week 38. No issues with 8, 9 or 10.

What does your husband think? Really I would avoid all negative family or friends.
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  #14  
January 11th, 2013, 12:25 PM
mommy2lilmen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Counting our Blessings View Post
I can't imagine family suggesting abortion. You are a married lady with a large family...seriously. I'm not sure what health implications you are talking about, but if it really is that dangerous to you and the baby, you should consider permanent birth control.

I just don't know what else to say. Like a lot of large families, we struggle time to time financially, but always consider a baby a blessing. I can't even imagine considering abortion, I'm just confused as to why it's even an option.

You just hit 5 weeks, you can hide it for 10 more week or so. I wouldn't tell anyone else until they ask. If your family is of their opinion, I wouldn't consider telling them, save yourself the heartache and stress.

I guess, if I'm carrying our last one (I'm 38), I'll be 56 when she's 18. No worries. We homeschool, so she might still be at home. It's never been an issue for us.
We considered permanent birth control.. I will say this I had my tubes tied after #4, and I got them untied to have #5, then the rest.. we considered permanent again this time around till dh said he would like to try down the road or me being a surrogate for my younger sister who is infertile. So my dr granted me permission if I waited 1+ year AFTER the birth of my 7th son. So I am worried being pregnant so soon could impose a risk earlier than the 1+ year after.
I cant hide it after 3rd month. You will see if I post a belly pic. I show FAST. I am tiny, 100 pounds, under 5 foot. I eat an apply you see the ball, literally. I cant tell anyone else, cus if I do, I will cry myself to sleep. Its affecting my marriage since my dh wants this baby so bad right now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by UrbanMomma View Post
When was the abruption, what week? Are we talking placental abruption? Partial or complete?

I had one with #7, week 38. No issues with 8, 9 or 10.

What does your husband think? Really I would avoid all negative family or friends.
I was 31 weeks and was a partial, I had previa to, the partial is the previa. I was put in hospital because of it. I had bleeding with all my pregnancies except #4. My husband thinks i should back away from my family, stop looking for approval and do what makes ME happy. I grew up in a household where I was the sibling, the daughter that was the good one, done no wrong, done what her siblings asked, done whather parents expected of her and I am still living that way. Guess cus I lost my dad and my brother I feel the more I do good the less chance I will loose them in my life. IDK . I have to really figure out why they said that to me. It hurt. It hurt alot. I dont think she understands how serious an abortion is. I threw the quesiton at her if she would get, she didnt answer onher self. Just if she was me she would blah blah ..and my health was the last thing on her mind. She kept saying that shes worried I wont have time to do anything for myself, I wont be able to vacation (which we never did as kids and still havent) I wont be able to save money, I wont be able to do this that. and then she says oh ya your health to..
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Mommy to 7 boys and 1 girl!
Sean 16, Justin 13, Kevin 11, Jayson 10, Bryce 4, Seth 3 & Kade 1
4 babies 94,95,99, 08~TL April 2003 & Sept 2013 TR May 2008

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blessed with 1 Autistic and 1 Down Syndrome child
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alyssa Marie Jade
September 1, 2013 @ 11:01pm 6lb 8oz & 18.5in
Emerg C Sec, Down Syndrome blessing, AVSD, Hirschsprungs, G tube
58 day NICU stay, Sept 1- Oct 29 2013





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  #15  
January 11th, 2013, 12:30 PM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Ok, so your health is bad to the point people think you should abort, but your husband thinks you should be a surrogate for someone else? I am sorry your sister is infertile, but that is crazy talk.
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  #16  
January 11th, 2013, 12:31 PM
mommy2lilmen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Farmers-wife View Post
Maybe I. Am just a cold heartless *****, but no one could make me feel so bad that it would be dangerous for the baby. No one, not one person,has that kind of power or influence on me. If my dh wanted me to abort or adopt out a baby, he would be the one to go.
my dh wouldnt push that on me. hebeleives we laid down, had sex unprotected, knowing full well it could happen, and that we wanted another in future anyways.. so he beleives we should embrace it and make it work.
Thats all I need I guess in my life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Farmers-wife View Post
Ok, so your health is bad to the point people think you should abort, but your husband thinks you should be a surrogate for someone else? I am sorry your sister is infertile, but that is crazy talk.
I brought up about being a surrogate to my dh cus she is so great with kids, she so deserves to have a family and cant. so we considered it after we spoke to the dr about if its possible.to give life is amazing and to be able to give life to someone deserving is even more of a blessing. But she wont take that, she feels if she is infertile thats it. she will handle it on her own. the only *persons* to think that is my mom and my older sister, i have many friends that say there are drs out there that can help me to be safe, keep the baby safe and abruptions dont happen all the time. they dotn understand that it doesnt happen all the time, as long as I take all the precautions then I should be and baby should be safe.
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Mommy to 7 boys and 1 girl!
Sean 16, Justin 13, Kevin 11, Jayson 10, Bryce 4, Seth 3 & Kade 1
4 babies 94,95,99, 08~TL April 2003 & Sept 2013 TR May 2008

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blessed with 1 Autistic and 1 Down Syndrome child
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alyssa Marie Jade
September 1, 2013 @ 11:01pm 6lb 8oz & 18.5in
Emerg C Sec, Down Syndrome blessing, AVSD, Hirschsprungs, G tube
58 day NICU stay, Sept 1- Oct 29 2013





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  #17  
January 11th, 2013, 12:38 PM
mommy2lilmen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UrbanMomma View Post
I would disown my family if they ever suggested I abort a child. NOT GONNA HAPPEN! I don't give a whoopty dam what anyone says about my body, my baby. They can jump off a cliff.

I will be 58ish when this baby graduates high school. Kids keep you young. And I have issues with my teens quite often, who doesn't?
I am 35, look like Im in my 20s, I often get asked if I am my sons sister. I do have issues with my teen, which I expect but its been dealt with.

I do feel bad bringing this up and I thank you all for the support. I just cant bring myself to abort at all. It just breaks my heart. I dont want to say negative about my ssister, but she is very selfish that one. Im happy everyone has their own opinions, but i often wonder if some think befor they talk. I shouldnt of said to her, but I thought, her of all people knowing i have 7 already would just send her blessings and say things will work out for a reason and just be happy, give me a hug and thatbe it. NOPE
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Annick
Mommy to 7 boys and 1 girl!
Sean 16, Justin 13, Kevin 11, Jayson 10, Bryce 4, Seth 3 & Kade 1
4 babies 94,95,99, 08~TL April 2003 & Sept 2013 TR May 2008

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blessed with 1 Autistic and 1 Down Syndrome child
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alyssa Marie Jade
September 1, 2013 @ 11:01pm 6lb 8oz & 18.5in
Emerg C Sec, Down Syndrome blessing, AVSD, Hirschsprungs, G tube
58 day NICU stay, Sept 1- Oct 29 2013





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  #18  
January 11th, 2013, 12:53 PM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I re-read the first part, you said you are waiting til the doctor confirms the pregnancy. You're not sure that you're pregnant? If that's the case why even tell anyone or stress out.
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  #19  
January 11th, 2013, 01:00 PM
mommy2lilmen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Repti.Mom View Post
I re-read the first part, you said you are waiting til the doctor confirms the pregnancy. You're not sure that you're pregnant? If that's the case why even tell anyone or stress out.
Here drs dont beleive you till *they * confirm it. I am pregnant LOL I done another test yesterday, obsessed with tests
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Annick
Mommy to 7 boys and 1 girl!
Sean 16, Justin 13, Kevin 11, Jayson 10, Bryce 4, Seth 3 & Kade 1
4 babies 94,95,99, 08~TL April 2003 & Sept 2013 TR May 2008

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blessed with 1 Autistic and 1 Down Syndrome child
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alyssa Marie Jade
September 1, 2013 @ 11:01pm 6lb 8oz & 18.5in
Emerg C Sec, Down Syndrome blessing, AVSD, Hirschsprungs, G tube
58 day NICU stay, Sept 1- Oct 29 2013





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  #20  
January 11th, 2013, 01:18 PM
mommy2lilmen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Delta, BC Canada
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I had called to book in an ob appointment, and they said well we need confirmation your pregnant, so I need to go to my gp get confirmation then I can be seen by them. It is really a piss off, but its the way they do things here. Im attaching yesterdays tests. dr should beleive that

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Annick
Mommy to 7 boys and 1 girl!
Sean 16, Justin 13, Kevin 11, Jayson 10, Bryce 4, Seth 3 & Kade 1
4 babies 94,95,99, 08~TL April 2003 & Sept 2013 TR May 2008

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blessed with 1 Autistic and 1 Down Syndrome child
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alyssa Marie Jade
September 1, 2013 @ 11:01pm 6lb 8oz & 18.5in
Emerg C Sec, Down Syndrome blessing, AVSD, Hirschsprungs, G tube
58 day NICU stay, Sept 1- Oct 29 2013





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