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Or how about anyone asking if you're pregnant again when you're not?
Kind of got the idea for this thread when i was replying to another member's post about telling her inalws. I'm sure we've all had these discussions before.
When I was expecting number 4, a woman at my former church said to me, "Well, you know I won't suggest that you have an abortion." (not suggest, but insinuate?) Followed by, "What are you going to do with it?" My reply was, "Love it?!" We almost immediately stopped attending services there.
Went on to have baby 4 plus 2 more. With Baby 5 we only told family and close friends. Everyone else figured it out when I was showing. We were at our local grocery and a lady from our former church worked as a cashier. She kept looking at my 7 month prego belly, then back to my face, belly, face...I finally said, "Yes, we're having another." Her reply was an astounded, "Why???" I ignored her question but I was humilated. Dh was waiting in the car. I told him what she said and he jumped out of the car and said, "C'Mon". When we got back in the store he walked up to her register and said, "We're having another because we're married! That's why!!" Then he drug me back out to the car, sputtering. It was hilarious.
When Number 5 was a year old, we were at our nieces 3rd birthday party, and my brother in law's mother in law asked if I was pregnant with number 6. I will admit, I'm a bit big bellied, but I said no I wasn't and she replied, "Well, I didn't know. You're always having another one." I turned towards my husband and said loudly, "She thought I was pregnant!" Without missing a beat, HE replied, "Well, someone has to replace all those soldier boys that have died over seas!" She never said another word.
Number 6 came along 2 years later, and she was our second girl after 4 boys. We'd just survived court after having gone through a jury trial for my oldest daughter's molestor. They let him go and five days later we found out we were pregnant. Mentally and emotionally I was in a pretty fragile state. Kept the pregnancy secret for awhile, and when we announced no one said anything negative.
I have been always ASSUMED I will be pregnant again. Since DH and I got my tubes untied. It is very UPSETTING and none of their business really. I just dont know how to feel if people ask. Cus I am right now and I have gotten some negative feedback. Yes we have not even told DHs side of the family becasue I thought it be nice to tell my family first since I dont see them often. WHAT A MISTAKE. Dh and I are having our 8th baby, for US. Not for anyone else. I have given up on how others feel about it, I am more worried on how my kids will take it. I dont know why but I am. I guess since my teenager decided it was MY fault, he got in trouble with the law, and started smoking weed (which he gave up under circumstances to stay living with me and not with his dad) My fault cus I had #7, was a bullcrap excuse. I didnt know what to say to my sister when she suggested it was best I end it, it be like a miscarriage. I replied, have you ever had an abortion. She says the earlier the better. REALLY? She even asked how I know it would be ok to have anothe. I DONT KNOW, I feel it thats all. I was hoping my sisters would of been supportive EVEN tho not approving. They arent raising them, getting up int he night and what not. I AM. ugh, and besides they dont visit anyways, so why should it matter, correct? So what, let me screw up my life lol But be supportive of it. Ugh, right? Im terrified to say the least. Yes we arent in the best situation with a 6 month old who doesnt sleep, an autistic 3 year old and many others. But who cares. Ugh. I just wish I felt comfortable. I guess not feeling pregnant makes it better. I wish I could feel it
When we go to the store and people see us, they ask WHY or I wouldnt be that stupid. I told a lady at walmart I was pregnant and shes like oh i need to go for my break. I said why cus Im pregnant again. Its ok, yes 8 but its not like we will bring them all here all the time. We are able. She rang up my stuff said good luck and smiled. I was so defensive lol
We get the Whys, the how did that happen and more. So stupid. I hold DH back LOL
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Annick
Mommy to 7 boys Sean 16, Justin 12, Kevin 11, Jayson 10, Bryce 3, Seth 2 & Kade
4 babies 94,95,99, 08~TL April 2003 TR May 2008 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kade Ryan July 10,2012 @ 914pm 6lb 12oz & 20 in
Last edited by mommy2lilmen; February 4th, 2013 at 11:17 PM.
I'm pretty lucky we live in an area where large families are pretty normal, by some standards we are even pretty small. There are quite a few families that have 10+ kids.
Family and friends have the standard comments..."you know what causes it". They are joking and mean no ill will. Then there are those who think we should just make it an even dozen...um, no thank you.
Some people were told, others figured it out. I remember after having Kaily, a lady at our local store looked at her, looked at me, then asked who she was. I laughed and said mine. She was dumbfounded, she saw me 3-4 times a week and never even noticed. Then there is the lady at our local Walmart who loves to tease me about being done. She remembers me saying we were done after Cole and then each of the following three lol. I'm not sure she believe me this time
there has only been 2 times where someone said something negative, that was my grandma after we had Sydney (#3). She told Rob he should keep his pants on. Then one time I posted on FB that my house is always so dusty, and someone responded that it's because there are too many people in my house. That doesn't even make sense lol
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Beth, Mom to:
Noah, Jayde, Sydney, RJ, Becca, Sebastian and Weston
there has only been 2 times where someone said something negative, that was my grandma after we had Sydney (#3). She told Rob he should keep his pants on. Then one time I posted on FB that my house is always so dusty, and someone responded that it's because there are too many people in my house. That doesn't even make sense lol
LOL I dont see how too many people makes it dusty? My house is dusty and thats cus we dont have carpet so any dust, dirt, hair thats on the floors floats among us and settles, plus I think the furnace ducts need cleaning AGAIN. But too many people makes the place dusty. LOL
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Annick
Mommy to 7 boys Sean 16, Justin 12, Kevin 11, Jayson 10, Bryce 3, Seth 2 & Kade
4 babies 94,95,99, 08~TL April 2003 TR May 2008 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kade Ryan July 10,2012 @ 914pm 6lb 12oz & 20 in
When I was pregnant with my third, we were at my husbands friends house. His friends dad seen we were pregnant and asked us why we would do that when we already had a boy and a girl.
When we announced pregnancy #3, we taught my oldest how to say my mom is having a baby in spanish as a surprise and when he told them the just stared at us and were quiet. They later told us it was because my bil and his wife are always upset they can't have kids. So you make us feel bad that we can??!
We pretty much let my mom figure it out, hehe. She is not real thrilled with the size of our family and I think she's embarrassed. I'm not really sure why. She always gets real quiet to me and spouts off to my MIL.
My inlaws are good with it, so I'm thankful.
I try and ignore the comments, for the most part. I figure our family pretty much speaks for itself when we are out and about. Family size here is fairly small I guess, 3 or 4 at most, but a lot of 2's. So we do stand out.
Sorry when you ladies have to deal with comments. Some of them can hurt.
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We have been blessed with 9 kiddos range in age from 12 years down to 8months; we have 5 boys and 4 girls.
We are avid gardeners and can and freeze all our fruits and veggies. We are homeschoolers who celebrate all the children we are given.
The two comments I hated were....
"I have mixed feelings about it" and "well, don't you think that was a bad idea"
Those comments made me feel like they felt they really had a say in my family.
Both were only said once...
The other comments..."Another ONE?!"..."Don't you know what causes that?"...etc. don't really bother me. Dh and I have a sense of humor and we are likely to give them just as much crap about something that goes on in their lives so we probably deserve it.
I would seriously LOL if someone told me 'I should say congrats when your NOT pregnant'....I haven't had anyone creative enough to come up with that one.
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Cortney...mom to A, C, E, L, I, and R
Have a large family? Come from a large family? Want a large family? Join us over at the large family board
From strangers in public I often get the typical "You have your hands full comment" what amuses me is when they are not all with me....I say "This is only half of them"
From family someone said "Are you trying to be like Grandma?" (she had 11, lost 1, so 10) I think I had just had or was pg with #4... a little premature don't you think? Oh there is a mom at ds2s school who I think thinks I'm crazy she only has 1, on purpose I think and always makes a comment about my family size. Not really rude, more of a it's not something she would choose and just can't wrap her head around it.
I LOVE my family size. I wish we could have 2 more, but dh is done. I'm torn. I will think "ok cool the dc are getting fairly self sufficient and I could travel with dh" .....but then I see a pregnant woman or a baby and think....I should be having a baby this year. 97,01,05,07,09,11.......13....
From strangers in public I often get the typical "You have your hands full comment" what amuses me is when they are not all with me....I say "This is only half of them"
From family someone said "Are you trying to be like Grandma?" (she had 11, lost 1, so 10) I think I had just had or was pg with #4... a little premature don't you think? Oh there is a mom at ds2s school who I think thinks I'm crazy she only has 1, on purpose I think and always makes a comment about my family size. Not really rude, more of a it's not something she would choose and just can't wrap her head around it.
I LOVE my family size. I wish we could have 2 more, but dh is done. I'm torn. I will think "ok cool the dc are getting fairly self sufficient and I could travel with dh" .....but then I see a pregnant woman or a baby and think....I should be having a baby this year. 97,01,05,07,09,11.......13....
I have 98, 03, 05, 07, 08 (7 days from 09) and 11 and was just thinking the other day that I should be having one for 13....it's like I'm just used to the notion of having a new baby every 2 yrs, lol!
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Cortney...mom to A, C, E, L, I, and R
Have a large family? Come from a large family? Want a large family? Join us over at the large family board
To be fair, dust is mostly shed human skin cells. So, if you have three times the amount of people in the house as a normal family. You would have three times the dust.
When hubby and I were having our last (#4) one of my relatives asked "did you want it?". When I said yes, we planned the baby then we were congratulated! My father made comments while I was pregnant about how this should be our last. Funny coming from a man who had 5 kids....one of which is younger than 3 of my kids! lol
"When is one of you going to get fixed?"
"WHY would you do this?"
"Was this planned?"
And so far, the one that got me most this pregnancy was a woman that I work with. She congratulated me, etc. The next day, she told me that she was telling her husband about it, and he said, "I don't want you hanging around with her. She's crazy!" I think she thought it was funny, but I've met him, and he's a jack***!
When hubby's work found out I was pregnant when my son was 3 months someone said we were hanging around with the Mormons too much. We only have 2 kids so far.
When hubby's work found out I was pregnant when my son was 3 months someone said we were hanging around with the Mormons too much. We only have 2 kids so far.
Why? Were your husband's 2nd and 3rd wives pregnant at the same time?
