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Unpleasant teens. Wwyd?


Forum: Large Families

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  • 1 Post By mom2many2010
  • 3 Post By Farmers-wife
  • 1 Post By UrbanMomma

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  #1  
May 27th, 2013, 08:16 AM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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So I mentioned in iam2 that we were invited to a friends house for cook out and swimming. So 1&2 don't want to go (17&14). I told #1 she didn't have to go. She can do online school work and get stuff done. Fine. But #2 is all "I don't want to go, I am not friends with them, no!" There is no reason for her not to go. She is just being snarky. But there is no absolute reason she has to go.

Would oh let her stay home?
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  #2  
May 27th, 2013, 09:12 AM
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For me, if we are invited as a family, then we go as a family. I've allowed the occasional one to stay behind here and there but usually they don't feel good.

These are situations, especially where they don't know people very well, that I see as learning experiences.

So no, I would not let her stay home.
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  #3  
May 27th, 2013, 09:49 AM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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So the 14 o is going but now the 1yo and dh aren't. And then he gets mad no one invites us anywhere. And he wonders why our kids are anti social.
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  #4  
May 27th, 2013, 10:47 AM
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Well we get invited no where...ever. So I don't have this problem. I am anti-social and have no friends, I don't like gatherings, I dislike parties.

However, occasionally we get invited to family birthday parties. If the older two are working, then they don't have to go. Usually all the rest want to go, even if it is just for the food.

BUT, if someone doesn't want to go, they don't have to. I am not going to make them if they are of age to stay home alone, so that only leaves the 12 and 14 year olds.
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  #5  
May 27th, 2013, 11:41 AM
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My husband is very anti-social. Thankfully 9 out of 10 things happen on the days he works so it's not an issue...having to make excuses.

I wouldn't say I'm a social butterfly, but I do like to hang out with other adults on occasion.
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  #6  
May 27th, 2013, 12:31 PM
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I am so anti social I don't even enjoy family gatherings, and I will skip them if certain family members are attending. I am probably rubbing off on my children, who aren't particularly fond of most people either. I tell them not to be like me.
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  #7  
May 27th, 2013, 04:06 PM
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My kids are always afraid they'll miss something so none would ever volunteer to be left behind. I would have excused her from going though, I think.
I wouldn't like the dh staying behind if he were available to go but again he never is so I have no experience with any of this, lol!
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  #8  
May 27th, 2013, 04:44 PM
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Mine don't want to go on occasion....and I do let them stay home, but not every time. It depends if it will hurt anyones feelings if they stay home and sometimes if we're visiting a family with much younger kids that play with my youngers, then I don't mind. Or if they've had a few late night babysitting or whatever. But sometimes their attitudes stink and that's the biggest problem, so it depends.
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  #9  
May 27th, 2013, 07:04 PM
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I was very not happy dh didn't go. And I have been pretty snippy with him since I got home. My friends have just put in a pool and done extensive deckin, pergola, etc. it was really nice. They wanted to show it off and he just dissed them. We had a nice time without him. Our church is oing to the beach on Saturday. He doesn't want to go to that either. Well, fine. I am getting really good at oing to stuff without him and having a nice time.
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  #10  
May 28th, 2013, 07:10 AM
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I just go without the hubby. Most of the time if he does go, he sits off to the side and it makes me uncomfortable. So we go have a good time.
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  #11  
May 28th, 2013, 01:32 PM
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My dh does that too, sits off to the side and acts like he lost all his manners and his voice too. UNLESS we go to some gathering of people he knows, then I swear he forgets he knows that the kids and I are there.

I am shy too, so going around a bunch of people he knows and I don't makes me uncomfortable, especially when he doesn't even introduce me to anyone.

Overall, I just avoid social gatherings.
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  #12  
May 28th, 2013, 04:19 PM
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Shy? Never in a million years would I have thought you are shy. Don't be shy! You are awesome. You have a voice and a gift and something to offer everyone. Don't make others miss out.
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  #13  
May 28th, 2013, 04:54 PM
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I'm awkward when I first meet people...then once I'm comfortable, well , I let 'me' be known lol

UM....I can't see you shy!
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  #14  
May 28th, 2013, 06:50 PM
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I am so incredibly shy, I don't like new people, new situations, new places, new anything. That's why I never finished college, I HATE starting new jobs, I have no friends, and I go nowhere. LOL
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  #15  
May 30th, 2013, 02:51 AM
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We don't go out often as a family, and let alone to gatherings. Since our family grew, we get invited, BUT get told Adults only so DH says we aren't going. Fine we cant anyway lol It says adults only but then we find out others kids were allowed to go, they just didn't want us to be spotlighted cus we are largest family in the family and now that Alyssa will be born a girl and have down syndrome we are being shunned out a lot...so back to the topic, wwyd about the teen wanting to stay home. IF it was a teen Id allow, just because Im fed up of arguing. If it was Christmas, a christening, a special birthday or something of that nature, Id give my pointers, but again we don't get invited no more But we do have fights with the kids on going out shopping or just out for a drive and that's a fight.
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  #16  
June 3rd, 2013, 05:28 PM
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We go as a family unit whenever we are invited anywhere. I guess it's no one has ever said they don't want to go.

UM, FW is right. People are missing out on you!

I wish we could have a large family get together, I would love to meet all of you in person and your kiddos!
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