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  • 1 Post By Faith=2xBlessed
  • 1 Post By mom2many2010
  • 1 Post By #5in2005
  • 1 Post By HalfDozen
  • 1 Post By deaths final kiss
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  #1  
July 27th, 2014, 07:24 PM
Faith=2xBlessed's Avatar PrettyCrispy Scrunchy Mom
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Rome , ny
Posts: 3,481
Are people so weird about you wanting a big family? Like it's an odd thing or something.. People will be like ya right (like I'm not serious) or no you don't!I just don't understand?! How do you deal wih it and what do you say back?
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  #2  
July 28th, 2014, 09:54 AM
Mom to 8 amazing kids
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Melba, Idaho
Posts: 2,652
I don't really run into this. I'm from an area where large families are semi-normal. When I do I will usually ask "well why do you only want two?" or say nothing at all. Honestly I do not care what other people think, and I am usually not one to explain anything, if it's just genuine curiosity then I am game for a chat, but negativity, well I don't have time for that.

It's funny cause I am the oldest of a large family, there are 5 of us, but only my sister and I grew up together cause my other siblings are much younger then me, my kids ages. For most of our lives it was me, my sister, mom and grandma. I did have extended family, but I wasn't super close with them. Now, I have 8, my sister has 10 and my other siblings are like "we are NOT having kids lol".
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  #3  
July 28th, 2014, 12:15 PM
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I'm not sure if I ever got too much of this prior to having kids. I think everyone just always assumed we'd have a bunch.

Anyways, I usually just say that it's not for everyone to have a large family, but it is for me.
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  #4  
July 29th, 2014, 07:56 PM
HalfDozen's Avatar Formerly Number5OnTheWay
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Everyone assumes I'm crazy, and this time around, I have gotten a few "Are you changing your name to Duggar?" I tell them all that it's a little late in life to keep up with them, but time will tell. Hubby actually had a vasectomy a few months ago, but I don't bother telling any of them that. I just tell them to ask me again in a year.
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  #5  
July 30th, 2014, 12:33 AM
deaths final kiss's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: WA
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Oh yeah... I only have 3 right now, and get snarky comments all the time. They might not SAY anything negative, but it's in the tone. "Don't you know how that happens?" "You sure have your hands full" and many more that I can't even remember. When DD was a few months old, I thought I might have been preg again, and went to get a test. I had to ask the pharmacist for them, and she just looked at the kids, then me, and said something like "Oh I hope not!".

My family thinks I'm crazy too (Maybe not my dad, he had 3 siblings, but also keeps his mouth shut about things that really aren't his business). My mom is always dropping comments about bc, or getting DH snipped, or how I can't handle having another for one reason or another... and she knew about this last mc, she KNOWS we still want to have a 4th, and was trying to convince me to sell the big baby items when we moved. Just because YOU couldn't handle one, doesn't mean I can't have more. /smh.

I love the rare occasion that I get good comments about having a big family. Our DISH tv installer was one, he thought it was great that we wanted to have another, and said that he doesn't see many people having more than 1 or 2 anymore.

I've noticed that strangers (and even "friends") feel like they have the right to comment about my life, or my body, and expect to have no repercussions from it. But if I said something about them not having kids, or needing to lose weight, I'd be the biggest btch in the world (when they just did the exact same thing to me, just opposite reasons). I try not to pay attention to what people say, and try even harder to avoid people in general anymore
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Last edited by deaths final kiss; July 30th, 2014 at 12:38 AM.
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  #6  
July 30th, 2014, 04:56 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Australia
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I guess because I never 'planned' it out I never got the "No you don't" or "Yeah as if" type of reactions, more of a "Oh Cyb's knocked up again, must not have a television, do you know what causes that?" type stuff.

I have gotten a few "Seriously?" remarks when people ask how many kids I have, or my favourite "How old are your kids?" and as I go down the list you see their expression change because they were only expecting two numbers, and a very small minority have asked if they all have the same father, which is such a weird question to ask someone out of the blue. Oh and I have been asked if I am religious, which I think is a very strange question to ask me when you are standing in front of me and looking at me. I don't think I give off the whole 'religious' vibe, the big pentagram tattooed on my arm should be a hint, but oh well.

Otherwise it's pretty tame. Large families are not the norm here, but I generally don't get much negativity about it.

Last edited by cybele; July 30th, 2014 at 05:01 AM.
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  #7  
July 30th, 2014, 06:39 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 159
We only have 3 right now and that seems pretty 'normal' in our community. My family lives in an area where it's not and I got a lot of comments when we announced #3 - the usual "don't you know how that happens' and my cousin even mentioned taking DH out and tying him up to a tree (it was supposed to be a joke...I think...). Can't wait to tell them about #4!
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  #8  
July 30th, 2014, 08:29 AM
UrbanMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
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#12 due in late October. People say the dumbest **** all the time. I am over giving a flying, ummm, whoopie dee whoo, what anyone else thinks.
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  #9  
July 30th, 2014, 06:34 PM
Faith=2xBlessed's Avatar PrettyCrispy Scrunchy Mom
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Rome , ny
Posts: 3,481
Why are people so weird or negative about it I just don't get it.. My sister asked me yesterday why do you want six kids I said why do you want three? She said because we came from a family of three and I said well I always thought I wanted three until I had the girls and now I want more..

I wouldn't ever be like well why do you only want that many or why do you want 20.. Who cares?!? I'm just frustrated with the comments and negativity of me stating that I want six kids

Quote:
Originally Posted by HalfDozen View Post
Everyone assumes I'm crazy, and this time around, I have gotten a few "Are you changing your name to Duggar?" I tell them all that it's a little late in life to keep up with them, but time will tell. Hubby actually had a vasectomy a few months ago, but I don't bother telling any of them that. I just tell them to ask me again in a year.
My sister actually said to me yesterday what do you wanna be like the duggars I said no they have like 20 I said six..sheesh! I love my sister and my mom to pieces but why would they care that I wanted six what's so wrong about that
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