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I have a question for you ladies!!


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  #1  
October 29th, 2006, 04:47 PM
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I am so confused, and since you ladies have been through it so many times--hopefully you can help!! We want a big familiy too.


I am Laura and dh and I have one 13 month old daughter. We have been planning on having a second born around the time Elizabeth turns 2 for a long time. Dh deploys with the military in February for 6-7 months. So this leaves us TTC Dec/Jan and possibly Nov/Feb as well. Narrow time window, and it may not work out---but now that it has come down to the actual time to start BD, I am freaking out! It was such a good plan until now, and I'm worried I won't be able to handle it all--but I want another one so bad! If I don't get preggo now, I'd have to wait AT LEAST 2 more years to TTC due to the military.

So here are my problems... I am taking Nursing, and start clinicals in January. I will be on my feet most of the day twice a week, and in a classroom another two days. I had horrible morning sickness and slept probably 14 hours a day with Elizabeth, so I am not sure I can handle it all? Also, the fact that I have a one year old who needs a lot of care and is very dependent still---I think that would be very hard as well. It would be a much easier decision if dh would be home during the preganancy to help out.

So the questions are:
Have any of you had closely spaced children? Was it difficult to care for the older one while pregnant? Bear in mind I will be doing it alone, as dh will be deployed.

Have any of you ever went through a pregnancy by yourself, while caring for another child?

Have any of you been in school, while in similar circumstances?



I think those are all of them. So basically I would be going to school full-time, caring for my one year old, all alone and there's a good chance I would have bad morning sickness and fatigue again. What do you think? I want to TTC so bad. But I am just so worried that I won't be able to handle it all, and either my grades will suffer or Elizabeth will not get as much support as she needs, etc.

My one other concern is daycare. Elizabeth will be starting when I start clinicals in January(been taking online classes). Unfortunately, I can only take off one semester or I will get dropped from the program--which means Baby B would have to start daycare around 6 months. Not the way I would like it, but the world doesn't work on my schedule. So the big thing is that I am worried about daycare costs. For a second child, do you get a discount? We can handle paying for one, but two?

I really really do want to get pregnant again soon. And if it were up to me, I would. But would that be a smart decision?


Thanks ladies for any input!! Sorry I ramble!!
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  #2  
October 29th, 2006, 06:26 PM
LadyBelle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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no advice i have always had dh to help.but i would also consider if it was a complicated pregnancy and you went on bedrest then what??i think i would wait the 2 years but thats just me

Do what feels right!!Good Luck
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  #3  
October 29th, 2006, 07:25 PM
~Trina~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Have any of you had closely spaced children? Was it difficult to care for the older one while pregnant? Bear in mind I will be doing it alone, as dh will be deployed.[/b]
Yes, my first two are 17 months apart .... my 3rd and 4th are 19ish months apart, and my 4th and 5th will be about 15 months apart. It's challenging to keep up with Joshua (my 12 month old) all the time ... but like with anything else in life ... you learn to adapt and do what it takes

Quote:
Have any of you ever went through a pregnancy by yourself, while caring for another child?[/b]
My husband isn't gone all the time ... but he works A LOT and does like NO housework .... so it feels like I'm doing it alone a LOT of the time!


Quote:
Have any of you been in school, while in similar circumstances?[/b]
Yes, I took 12 credits last quarter plus I was in EMT classes for 8 hours a week (plus study time). Now I'm taking 8 credits and still doing EMT classes for 8 hours a week (plus study time)... while pregnant with a 1, 2, 6, and 7 yr old
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  #4  
October 30th, 2006, 08:56 AM
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LadyBelle---If I was put on bedrest or something, the military would send dh home.

Trina--So you were able to handle it all ok? Not to say it was easy, but doable?
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  #5  
October 30th, 2006, 09:28 AM
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All I can say is that you just adapt and do what you need to do. I spent far more time on the couch while pregnant with my first and second, than I ever did with Julia. I would say that I was just as tired, but there were just to many things to do, and you just do what you gotta do.

I don't think anyone can tell you what would be the right thing to do. I think when we are feeling really tired or sick while pregnant we the thought "what have I done?" has crossed all of our minds, but of course, it's always soooo worth it.

If it were me, I would go and TTC, and then if I got pregnant then to me that would mean that that child was ment to be for me at that time. And if I didn't get pregnant then I would be at peace with that as well, to me that would mean that there is another little one out there for me, just not at this time. But that is me. It also depends on what kind of support system you have around.

Good luck regardless. I certainly understand the ache of wanting another baby. (must be why I had my first 3 in just over 3 years
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  #6  
October 30th, 2006, 06:02 PM
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Quote:
If it were me, I would go and TTC, and then if I got pregnant then to me that would mean that that child was ment to be for me at that time. And if I didn't get pregnant then I would be at peace with that as well, to me that would mean that there is another little one out there for me, just not at this time. But that is me. It also depends on what kind of support system you have around.[/b]
That was basically what I had been thinking. I totally agree with that, and I could be at peace either way. Pretty much the only thing holding me back is the cost of two kids in daycare..
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  #7  
October 30th, 2006, 07:06 PM
Stacey's Avatar Super Star...mom to 6 ♥
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I also say go for it...my boys are 22 months apart (almost 2 years) and honestly I had no problems raising them. When I look back (they are 18 and 16 now) I dont remember it ever being hard. It could have been because I was so young and very laxed with things. When I read your post, I can tell that you have already made the decision.....Trust me when I tell you that you will adapt to the situation.

Good luck with everything....as far as daycare, I have never had my kids in them but I do know people that have and if it is more then one child, they do sometimes offer a discount. Talk to the daycare when you go to put your daughter in.
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  #9  
October 31st, 2006, 08:23 PM
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Thanks ladies for all the help! I know it wouldn't be easy, but you have reassured me that it can be done and I will just adjust to the new situation. Thanks so much!!! You are all so helpful.

Quote:
When I read your post, I can tell that you have already made the decision[/b]
That made me crack up. I think you are right.
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  #10  
November 2nd, 2006, 06:55 AM
coryletum's Avatar Veteran
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Good luck hun!

luv R xxx
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  #11  
November 4th, 2006, 04:10 PM
~Trina~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Trina--So you were able to handle it all ok? Not to say it was easy, but doable?[/b]
Well, we are all still alive...so I must be doing SOMETHING right ... I think
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  #12  
November 6th, 2006, 03:01 PM
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I haven't been in your situation but I wanted to add something. Not all pregnancies are the same. Just cause you were sick with one doesn't mean that you'll be sick with the next. I was really sick with my first, in and out of the hospital for dehydration, ect. but with my second I wasn't as sick. And with my 3rd I wasn't sick at all. My 4th I was really sick with but my 5th, 6th, and now 7th I wasn't all that sick (a little morning sickness).

I also agree with one post saying give it a whirl and see what happens. If you get pregnant then it was meant to be . If not, then it was for the best.

Krista
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