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Hunter has certain ways of doing things...for instance
-When leaving the house all doors to bedroom and bathrooms must be shut, all lights turned out and tv/computer turned off...even if others are still home. He actually had a melt down when i was forcing him in the car one day and i finally got it out of him that he just need the toilet seat down in the bathroom before we left(oh yeah that must be down at all times too)
-And doors just always have to be shut in general. Be it at someone elses house, his PDO program, etc... IF i leave Landon's room and do not close it he will get up off the couch and go and shut the door
-HE MUST ANSWER THE DOOR... he gets upset if others answer it or if it is my parents/bro and the just let themselves in
-He has a specific spot for his toys and that is where they go when it is time to clean up?
DH thinks he does some of this because of age and some because it is something he can control, since he can't control his words well
My dd has some similar habits, though hers are more related to her autism than anything else. Many autistic children have these types of routines that must be done in order for them to feel calm. Some of it is control, some of it is preparing them for the next step, ie I know after I do things things, it is time to go, so it helps them transition (though we are really working on reducing the whole transition thing into one or two verbal warnings), some of it is that the actual motions of this routine calm them down.
<div align="center">Thanks Alison's Mommy, SillyMama, Katarina and samylaine for my blinkies.</div>
I can't say that my children have done those sorts of things, but what he's doing does seem like he needs to be in control. While it certainly may be a phase because of his difficulty in communication, some people do have a personality that tends towards behaviour where things MUST be a certain way, because they can't handle it any other way. Just be careful that as he's getting older and more communicative, that if he continues with rigid "rules" of how things need to be done, instead of it just being a phase, you might want to look into it further, because that sort of personality can make it difficult to interact with others (they never do things the "right" way), or even get things done (if I can't do it "perfectly", I won't do it at all, or I'll take forever to get it done right, when it would be just fine at less-than-perfect).
I only say that because I have a personality like that (but I'm not sure if I did the same types of things your son did at his age or not; certainly when I got older my toys had to be in the "right" spots and I'd follow people around my room to make sure if they touched something, it got put back in the right spot).
So your husband may be completely right about it being a control issue, but just keep an eye on it if it persists.
Well i talked to his earlychild hood teacher just a little while ago and she thinks alot of it could be his age. Many 3 year olds do this. She says that if he is 4 and keeps doing it then it maybe a concern, but not to worry about it now. I know when i was little, i was alot like this too. I had to have my socks just right or i would throw a fit and would not put on shoes. Also, my mom said when i was 3, i would not leave the house for a whole month. So...i really and truly hope this is something she grows out of
Evan doesn't really do any of those things - except for putting his toys back when they "belong" Because, I always do that! I am kinda OCD like that so he watched me and he does it like that too. Some kids are more structured like that.