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First - I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I have so much to be thankful for this year - especially after having a m/c and the loss of my dad. With that being said - yesterday we were at my husband's aunts house doing our turkey day and some of the people that were there congratulated us on the twins...and then we told them what we were having...we were on cloud 9 after wanting this for so long. Well at dinner some of dh relatives were asking about the babies and if twins ran in the family. Being the fact that I am not super close with so many of his cousins we just told them that yes twins run in the family on my mother's side (my one cousin did indeed have a set of twins). Not wanting to go into detail with these people about having IVF. Well as was fine and good with what dh and I said until my MIL said immediately after I said yes twins run in my family - "they had invitro fertilization". There was dead silence at the table with no joke 25 adults. My dh almost fell off the chair. I politely finished what I could of my meal and excused myself to check on our boys. I was so furious that I almost killed her - had I not gotten away from the table I think something bad would have happened. Now, the rest of the family felt so bad and had respect for dh and I that they immediately changed the subject which I was greatful for. But I spent the rest of the dinner there downstairs or else I would have had it out with my MIL right then and there. I was a mess - we were so excited and happy and the b*!ch managed to take that joy away from us again - plus this was the first holiday since my dad passed away. The fact that she said it immediately after my comment told me it was deliberate. What the heck? DH is going to call her and I can already tell he is going to flip out. I on the other hand am done with her crap. Expecially when she found out about my m/c after the 1st IVF and told me to basically suck it up b/c it was my choice. GRRRR - really it was not my choice to have fertility issues, not my choice to react to the meds that way and it was NOT my choice to lose the baby.
Sorry for the novel - I am just so upset right now....I don't even want to speak with her. I have tolerated her garbage and turned the other cheek too many times - but this was way too personal.
*******So dh called MIL yesterday and said he wanted to talked to her about what she said at Thanksgiving. She already knew what he was referring to - mainly b/c I think somebody yelled at her before he got to her. Well he went off - I heard him yelling at her all the way downstairs - using rather strong language. He asked how she could be so insensitive and how dare she share something like that to make herself feel better or fit in. He followed that with how dare she even have the nerve to open her mouth and talk about something she hasn't got a clue about - b/c she did not go through the emotional and physical rollercoaster we have both been on. He ripped her a new one for about 30 minutes. She said she thought everyone knew and he came back with how would everyone know since we only see these people on Thanksgiving and the fact that we said twins are on my side of the family. He called her out and told her it was deliberate. She said we were over reacting and being overly sensitive. He yelled at her some more and she hung up. I told dh that although I am no mad at her I am hurt and that will never change - but I was very greatful that he tried to talk with her. He is still pissed at her - I told him that the only good this was - was that for the first time he actually heard the rude/inappropriate things she says and not second hand from me when it happens - hence not being so mad b/c I know how ignorant she is. I am just hurt and I really don't thing anything will change that. We are just letting her stew and go on with our lives. Thank you all for your supportive comments Sorry this was soooo long!
Last edited by mom_of2; November 28th, 2010 at 05:25 AM.
I'm so sorry. People who just get prego whenever they want don't understand what an emotional roller coaster MA is. Not everyone wants to talk about it or tell anyone their experience. That was totally crappy of her to bring that up during dinner, or any other time for that matter. It's your business if you want to tell people, not hers.
Thank you peimum for my siggie
Dec 26 '08, BFP after 21 months thanks to acupuncture
Jan 14 '09, first u/s one strong heart beat
Jan 28, '09, second u/s, Surprise! two strong heart beats
Aug 13, '09 Arya and Eiley are born on what would have been their great grandmother's 105th birthday 365 Days in a Roe