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Venting...(just getting somethings off my chest)


Forum: Moms and Expectant Moms of Multiples

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  #1  
April 24th, 2011, 08:09 PM
mommabirdof4
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First off I am going to just put it out there that I love my boys even though they aren't here yet and I would never, never ever regret having twins!!! I am not un grateful because I know this is a blessing that God gave us and I am very, very thankful for that....and I say how grateful I am ever day to have these two healthy little ones growing inside me.

But it has made me really think about the little things I would never question if thise was a singleton...I feel like it is silly...but the reality of two newborns with 2 toddlers doeasn't escape me....it will be crazy, insane and overwhelming.

I have decided that we will have to stop cloth diapering for good...it sucks...but 4 kids in diapers full-time is overwhelming to think about even in sposies...but the thought of using cloth with all 4 in diapers is just mind blowing...so I am selling all of my cloth...I am soo upset and sad...I know to some people that would sound so stupid but I have used cloth for almost 3 years...used it from day one with lil Jimmy. I enjoy it and my kids have always prefered the cloth....but ugh I had to make the choice to save my sanity. OF course the cost is really going to suck...but I am going to put back a lot of the money I make from saleing diapers in order to by sposies.

And then the other thing is BFing...I would never ever in a million years doubt weither breastfeeding was right for me right now if I was having a singleton. but with twins on the way I am just not sure...I mean i know it is very possiable...and lots of moms do it. But ugh...I am so overwhelmed with the thought. I love breastfeeding and honestly I am very heartbroken even just thinking about not nursing the twins. But also I know I have to make the choice that is right for me. I miss breastfeeding JoJo and one of the big reasons I was okay with weaning her and even getting preggo again was that I would get the chance to BF another baby and hopefully let them self wean in their own time. One other factor is cost...BFing is free...so it was a huge factor in us deciding to go for another baby...knowing that we wouldn't have to budget for formula. So now I am having to think about the cost foactor...I have looked into WIC and since we will be a family of 6 we would qualify...I am not ashamed or gulity about using WIC...Me and DH have paid taxes for years and so I don't feel bad. I just feel so guilty and wrong for even thinking of going straight to formula once the twins are born!!!

So many other things me and DH have really talked about and we know we can make them work...such as co-sleeping,baby wearing, and lots of other things. But CDing and BFing have been the two issues i can't get out of my mind. My DH would never say anything to me about BFing or not...he feels that it is my body so it should be my choice. So asking him for input doesn't do any good...because he doesn't think it is his place to decide about my body.

If you have made it this far...bless you...it feels better to get this out there...I haven't spoken to anyone IRL about the BFing thing.
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  #2  
April 24th, 2011, 10:05 PM
nateandjenny's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,558
Sorry you are so stressed out! I really wanted to try CD but no one was supportive so I never got to try it. I really have no advice on the BF vs FF. I wish it would have worked out for us but it didn't. The weird thing is I have never had anyone judge me for using formula. It was almost like it was expected. My friend has gotten a lot of crap for FF. Either way it is up to you.

On the WIC thing. You are considered a family of 6 right now. You should go ahead and apply before the babies are born. Plus I would also apply for sooner care to cover the cost of the birth. that can save you a lot of money. if you have questions about either let me know.
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  #3  
April 25th, 2011, 05:57 AM
Celry's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
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Posts: 12,946
Vent away. It's not easy when twins get here and it has to be a lot harder when you have 2 toddlers.

I cloth diaper my twins, but did not at first. I personally would say to hold off on selling your diapers if you can. You might take a break for 6 months, but you could go back to it. Your oldest may even be ready to potty train by then and you'd only have 3 in cloth.

As for breastfeeding, you can do it. You'll do whatever works for you. That might mean you BF for a month. Maybe you pump for both or pump for one. Maybe they'll both be champion nursers and it won't be an issue. It's not easy at first, but getting them to tandem nurse is the key (IMO) to nursing twins. Whatever you end up doing will be right for all of you.

You're right that you can make baby wearing and cosleeping work. We did not cosleep all the time, but we did some and it worked. The moby wrap was my best friend in the beginning. I had two colicky kids and don't know what I would have done without the moby. Eventually, I would wear one in the front in the moby and one in the back in the Ergo. This is how we did any shopping for a long time.
here's a pic of how I wore them


I don't wear them at the same time anymore, but they still get worn all the time. I switch off who is worn and wear them around the house when they are having a bad day.
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Dec 26 '08, BFP after 21 months thanks to acupuncture
Jan 14 '09, first u/s one strong heart beat
Jan 28, '09, second u/s, Surprise! two strong heart beats
Aug 13, '09 Arya and Eiley are born on what would have been their great grandmother's 105th birthday
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  #4  
April 25th, 2011, 06:25 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2010
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I am not as far along as you are and I'm already stressing about this stuff.
we also talked about CDing but thought maybe it wouldn't be worth it with 2. we also have 2 toddlers so we would have 2 in sposies and 2 in Cloth. but we will be starting to potty train the other too soon so we may just end up with 2 in cloth. it's just a lot to think about.

as for BFing, I didn't do very well with my son so I was determined that when I got pregnant the next time I would BF as long as possible. Now that I have 2 on the way I was terrified of the thought, but the other day my mom asked if I was planning on trying again and I said yes i will try as hard as I can, and she said "yeah I think you should" so that definitely helped me knowing that she would support me instead of just laughing saying "hah I doubt you can do that with 2" which i have heard before. It's discouraging hearing people saying stuff like that"

I'm planning on co sleeping with an arms reach co sleeper, just so that we have both the babies right there with us but not in the bed. My 2 year old still like the bed! I really need to move him to his own lol I don't want 3 little kids in mine and SO's bed! lol

and babywearing, I already told SO we are getting another moby so that he can carry one and I can carry one lol I think Celry looks amazing with 2! I will definitely be trying that If I have to go out on my own!! I also wanted an Ergo before I knew it was twins so i may get one of those too just to have and switch them around.

I know how you feel, it's a lot more stressful thinking of 2 babies doing these things, but even though I have no experience yet, I say don't give up yet. Try what you would normally do and then go to what works. you may be surprised that since you already know some things, it will come more naturally than you expected? that's just my thought though..
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  #5  
April 25th, 2011, 08:05 AM
nateandjenny's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alternamom View Post
I am not as far along as you are and I'm already stressing about this stuff.
we also talked about CDing but thought maybe it wouldn't be worth it with 2. we also have 2 toddlers so we would have 2 in sposies and 2 in Cloth. but we will be starting to potty train the other too soon so we may just end up with 2 in cloth. it's just a lot to think about.

as for BFing, I didn't do very well with my son so I was determined that when I got pregnant the next time I would BF as long as possible. Now that I have 2 on the way I was terrified of the thought, but the other day my mom asked if I was planning on trying again and I said yes i will try as hard as I can, and she said "yeah I think you should" so that definitely helped me knowing that she would support me instead of just laughing saying "hah I doubt you can do that with 2" which i have heard before. It's discouraging hearing people saying stuff like that"

I'm planning on co sleeping with an arms reach co sleeper, just so that we have both the babies right there with us but not in the bed. My 2 year old still like the bed! I really need to move him to his own lol I don't want 3 little kids in mine and SO's bed! lol

and babywearing, I already told SO we are getting another moby so that he can carry one and I can carry one lol I think Celry looks amazing with 2! I will definitely be trying that If I have to go out on my own!! I also wanted an Ergo before I knew it was twins so i may get one of those too just to have and switch them around.

I know how you feel, it's a lot more stressful thinking of 2 babies doing these things, but even though I have no experience yet, I say don't give up yet. Try what you would normally do and then go to what works. you may be surprised that since you already know some things, it will come more naturally than you expected? that's just my thought though..
If you end up getting two ergos check out the freebie post because you can get a multiples discount on two.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Celry View Post
I don't wear them at the same time anymore, but they still get worn all the time. I switch off who is worn and wear them around the house when they are having a bad day.
do you just use the ergo now?
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  #6  
April 25th, 2011, 09:55 AM
Celry's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nateandjenny View Post
do you just use the ergo now?
Pretty much. I used my moby recently, but hadn't used it in a long time. I use my ergo all the time. DH and I actually have 2 so we can go places and wear both kids. I don't think I'd ever make it through the grocery store without my Ergo.
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Thank you peimum for my siggie






Dec 26 '08, BFP after 21 months thanks to acupuncture
Jan 14 '09, first u/s one strong heart beat
Jan 28, '09, second u/s, Surprise! two strong heart beats
Aug 13, '09 Arya and Eiley are born on what would have been their great grandmother's 105th birthday
365 Days in a Roe


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  #7  
April 25th, 2011, 01:36 PM
CrystalAnne's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Idaho
Posts: 4,278
You sound like I did about 4 weeks ago. . .seriously! I have 3 in cloth as of today, we'll see how this goes! We absolutely cannot afford to use disposables on them so it's just going to have to work one way or another.

As for the BFing, I am BFing my twins and they are fantastic nursers. I have not had to pump and give bottles at this point. I tandem nurse them when possible BUT I have to switch them off sometimes because Jacob knows when I am stuck on the couch (he is 14 mos old) and takes advantage of his poor mamas immobility lol. So when I have ONE twin at the breast I can take off and chase after Jake while the baby nurses. . . They have what I am calling their evening boob-a-thon because from about 4-8 they both want to nurse. . . .constantly, even if they're asleep, they want a boobnap. . .so that's the worst part.

I know this is really rambly and maybe not very helpful, I just wanted to let you know you might TRY and then if you get totally overwhelmed or it doesn't work for you, you can go to formula. Nobody is going to fault you for being overwhelmed at the concept of nursing twins, I just about had panic attacks about it beforehand, and sometimes now I am soooooo tempted to just bottlefeed them, but those moments come and go. Overall I'm happy that I chose to BF them. People seem shocked. . .shocked that I had them vaginally, shocked that I BF and shocked that I am CDing 3 kids. . .I guess I like to shock people, lol.
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  #8  
April 25th, 2011, 03:20 PM
mommabirdof4
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Thanks everyone...I think so much of this is just worries and fears...and having a ton of anxiety over the birth and afterwards. Ya, I am having panic attacks type things when I think about things...maybe i need to stop thinking about things!!

I am pretty set on the no CDing and honestly it really doesn't bug me the more I think about it. I mean ya it would have been nice but I also know that sposies work just as well for us...we have been using them for the kids since I found out I was preggo and had M/S and then got put on limited activity. My kids are heavy wetters so in cloth I had to always struggle with finding a diaper that works for them and I still had to change every hour or more. So I can say I am at peace with that choice...and maybe one of these day my little man will potty train...lol It isn't like i don't have a few years of diapering in my future...lol

Right now I am commited to BFing the twins...I think a lot of my worries stem from just the overwhelming feeling I am having...not really doubting if I could do it or not. I do not want to use formula...but if I need to I feel okay with that in my heart...but I won't give up without a fight.
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  #9  
April 25th, 2011, 04:14 PM
Bug-n-Ed's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My twins are four weeks old and I'm CDing them. I have to wash the CD's every day in order for them to be in cloth. I'm not sure I'd want to do it if I had four in CD's as that would be a lot of wash.

We formula feed the twins, but ours are adopted and I didn't want to struggle with trying to induce lactation. We do have some donor milk from a friend of mine who has an entire deep freeze of frozen breast milk that she won't be able to use.

I babywear the two all the time in my Bali Stretch wrap. It makes grocery shopping much easier than attempting two carseats. We also co-sleep here and there, but not on a regular basis.

You have to do what will work for your family and ignore all the naysayers (including yourself). What's the best for your family is not necessarily the best for another family. You'll do great!
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