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  #1  
May 3rd, 2011, 02:37 PM
CrystalAnne's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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It seems like each day that goes by the girls schedules are more and more opposite and the more I do to try to synchronize them the worse it gets. They are sleeping more and more during the day and less and less during the night.

My 15 month old won't stop causing as much trouble as humanly possible for a toddler (which is a lot! lol) ONLY when I nurse the girls. I am so fed up with HIS behavior while nursing the girls I"m about ready to scrap the whole breastfeeding thing and say *** it! It isn't worth the anger/frustration.

Tell me when I can start hoping to function beyond being grateful for 2 hours sleep and a shower, because today is a terrible day and I need a point at which to look forward to!

6 months maybe? a year? 18 months?
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  #2  
May 3rd, 2011, 04:01 PM
Bug-n-Ed's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My twins aren't too much older than yours, but I've had a lot of twin parents tell me that it will get better by the time they are one for sure. I've been lucky with mine so far, so I don't have much to offer in the way of helping you get them on a schedule. Hang in there.
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  #3  
May 3rd, 2011, 04:51 PM
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I can remember that feeling- and I didn't even have any other kids to deal with while nursing mine! Just the constant nursing, lack of schedule and night wakings were tough. I can say though that now things are SOOOO much easier! Each month got easier and now that the babies are going to be 7 months things have really settled in. I stressed myself out in the beginning with schedules and syncing them but found that once I relaxed and went with the flow things went better. They will get bigger and things will get more predictable. I also think now that they are really eating and I'm not nursing as much it makes things way easier but those first months are really tough. It goes by quick even though I'm sure it doesn't seem like that to you now. Hang in there!
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  #4  
May 3rd, 2011, 05:37 PM
Celry's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I want to cry for you. You brought back so many memories with your post. People ask how it was having newborn twins and I usually don't tell the truth. People don't want the truth. There are some people with twins who get babies who both sleep through the night right away and are super calm. Then there are others like me who get two who don't STTN until 16 months, who had colic and just screamed for months. I honestly do not remember the beginning. Take lots of pics and videos because you will want them later.

I feel like twins go through a little honeymoon stage in the beginning. They sleep okay and aren't too bad until they hit their due date and then everything goes to hell I always say that 9 months was our turning point. THings were okay before then, but not great. I have loved our time since then.

Hang in there. It will get better. This is such a small amount of time in the span of their lives. You'll survive. I'll keep saying it, but it does get better. Your son will adjust to having them around. They will figure out their days and nights.

Have you thought about getting your son some awesome new toys that he only gets to play with while you're BFing? A lactation consultant suggested that to my sister. She didn't have twins, but had two close together and it really helped her daughter behave while she nursed her son. She just had stickers and little things in it that my niece loved to play with.
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Dec 26 '08, BFP after 21 months thanks to acupuncture
Jan 14 '09, first u/s one strong heart beat
Jan 28, '09, second u/s, Surprise! two strong heart beats
Aug 13, '09 Arya and Eiley are born on what would have been their great grandmother's 105th birthday
365 Days in a Roe


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  #5  
May 4th, 2011, 06:38 AM
1+twins's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh hun... I too want to cry because I remember this all to well and to be honest it still sends me into a nervous wreck thinking it could return at any moment. It will get better. For me it was around 13 months and it was like it clicked and they finally were manageable for me. Most people tell me 6 months to a year, but mine were later. I hope and pray you find some relief. HUGS TO YOU!
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  #6  
May 4th, 2011, 08:40 AM
CrystalAnne's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thankyou so much it really helps to have the ear of someone that won't say "awww, but you're so lucky to have twins!" Can I tell you how much that bothers me after a few bad days/nights? or "you should be thankful for the sleep deprivation, there are many people challenged by infertility!" I feel bad but I don't think ANY kind thoughts about anybody when they say that to me lol. . . .

Ok, /rant Again, thanks for the encouraging/kind words Last night was better so I'm feeling a little more hopeful today
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  #7  
May 4th, 2011, 09:46 AM
nateandjenny's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm sorry you are having such a hard time! Have to say it made me a little teary eyed. I remember how stressful it was when they were that little and for the most part I had excellent sleepers! I'm also sorry that people are giving you those comments too. It just makes it worse especially when the comments come from people that are supposed to be there to support you. I used to get really upset because when I was having a really hard time my dh's best friend would always tell me I should complain because we had it so easy. There were many times I cried on the way back home from seeing them. I am at the point that when they ask how we are doing I just say we are fine because it easier. So I know how frustrated the comments can be! Overall it got better for me when I started medication! lol. My hubby pushed me to go to the dr and they put me on anxiety medicine. I go next week to add adhd meds (not that you need meds or anything). I have always had anxiety issues but they had always been manageable until the twins came.

Celry made a lot of good points! I have no idea how you guys did it with having babies that didn't sleep well!
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  #8  
May 4th, 2011, 10:00 AM
Celry's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Infertility comments are just dumb. DH and I had to seek medical assistance to conceive. I know the pain of infertility and that doesn't change how hard having twins can be. We were faced with the possibility of never having children and that definitely can change the way a person looks at some things, but it won't change sleep deprivation or a rambunctious 14 month old.
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Dec 26 '08, BFP after 21 months thanks to acupuncture
Jan 14 '09, first u/s one strong heart beat
Jan 28, '09, second u/s, Surprise! two strong heart beats
Aug 13, '09 Arya and Eiley are born on what would have been their great grandmother's 105th birthday
365 Days in a Roe


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  #9  
May 4th, 2011, 11:36 AM
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Your post brought back tearful memories. Those first few months are ROUGH. I pump exclusively and I constantly felt like I was in a race against time to get the twins fed, take care of my 3 year old, pump, make sure I eat, and do the whole thing over again. I remember one time where I had all 3 kids screaming at once... the twins couldn't be settled down for anything and my 3 year old was throwing a temper tantrum. I LOST IT. I actually had to lock myself in my bedroom and bawl my eyes out because I really felt like I was going crazy. In the meantime both babies screamed so hard that they cried themselves to sleep at 3 weeks old. I felt super bad and I felt like a horrible mother. Now I realize that there is only so much you can do... and if you need to vent/cry/scream that is OK too. Being a mom is hard enough, but to have multiple infants needing your attention makes it even harder. I cringe when people tell me that "they have always wanted twins". They only want them because it is cute to have two babies... they don't realize how hard it is.

As far as getting them on a schedule goes we basically did everything the same from the get-go. Like if one woke up to eat (during the day, night, whatever), we wake the other. The napping schedules just fell into place somehow... we just always made sure to put them down to sleep at the same time. The girls eat at the same time, play at the same time, and nap at the same time for the most part.

It does get easier. My girls are 5 months old and it has gotten easier for us. I think that is because we pretty much got the groove of things. Granted there are still bad days, but it happens. When people ask me how we handle twins, I always say "It is amazing what you do when you have no choice". Then that shuts them up quick. lol.

Hang in there.... we are here if you need us. ((HUGS))
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  #10  
May 4th, 2011, 12:12 PM
nat1970's Avatar Nicole - Mom2Leah,Ty,TJ
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Hugs hun. I know it is hard. Luckily mine have always been great sleepers and started STTN from 2 months or so. I also have DD who is 18 months older than the boys and that just adds more to the stress. I actually say now that if it were just the twins it would be easy. I laugh at my friends who complain to me about their 1 child. I'm like really? Do what you can on getting them on the same schedule. It is hard, but it will save your life. I agree, when one wakes, wake the other. I did this, but not in the middle of the night. Even at almost 10 months old if one only takes an hour nap then the other gets a one hour nap as well. GL and it will get easier. And I hate to say it, but the TV has been a great babysitter. I don't like it, but whatever works for you.
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  #11  
May 4th, 2011, 09:34 PM
CrystalAnne's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I was married once before when I was too young and immature to handle it (divorced at 21). . .We tried for 3 years before we conceived, and our baby boy was stillborn at 26 weeks. I was told I'd never be able to have children. Then, I had my 6 year old while in birth control and conceived Jake our first month trying and surprise twins conceived while ebfing Jake so I have been on both sides of that coin.

I have TRIED to wake one up to eat when the other eats and they will have none of it, they just sleep away. Hopefully as they get older they will get easier to wake up. Stubborn little girls!!! I wouldn't trade them for the world.

on a lighter note . . .any tips on how to deflect unwanted gawkers at the supermarket? It takes twice as long to shop! I swear people have never seen a mama wear a toddler before. . .or infant twins. . .I live in a small town full of very very VERY talkative strangers LOL
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  #12  
May 5th, 2011, 05:05 AM
Celry's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Get used to the attention. I still get just as much now as I got then. I just smile and nod when I'm asked if they are twins. People will ask all sorts of odd questions. I've had people trap me in aisles at the store and ramble off the dumbest things. I had one really gross old guy ask me how I fed them. I constantly have poeple ask who is older and I won't tell them. I just say that they are twins, so they are the same age. I love the responses I get when they think I don't understand the question. You'll be asked if they are boy/girl twins, if they are ID, if they were conceived naturally or via some sort of fertility treatment. You'll be told how much they wanted twins or how their sister in laws, cousins friend has twins. I don't have a problem with most people, but I do not like the ones who decide to try to touch my kids. I will tell them that they can't. I don't want random people touching me or my hair, so why would I let them touch my kids?
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Dec 26 '08, BFP after 21 months thanks to acupuncture
Jan 14 '09, first u/s one strong heart beat
Jan 28, '09, second u/s, Surprise! two strong heart beats
Aug 13, '09 Arya and Eiley are born on what would have been their great grandmother's 105th birthday
365 Days in a Roe


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  #13  
May 5th, 2011, 06:04 AM
nateandjenny's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CrystalAnne View Post
on a lighter note . . .any tips on how to deflect unwanted gawkers at the supermarket? It takes twice as long to shop! I swear people have never seen a mama wear a toddler before. . .or infant twins. . .I live in a small town full of very very VERY talkative strangers LOL
Walk very fast and don't make eye contact! lol I do a lot of pretending I didn't hear something. If I stopped to say thank you or say yes they are twins then I wouldn't get through a store. I prob come across as rude to a lot of people but oh well

Quote:
Originally Posted by Celry View Post
Get used to the attention. I still get just as much now as I got then. I just smile and nod when I'm asked if they are twins. People will ask all sorts of odd questions. I've had people trap me in aisles at the store and ramble off the dumbest things. I had one really gross old guy ask me how I fed them. I constantly have poeple ask who is older and I won't tell them. I just say that they are twins, so they are the same age. I love the responses I get when they think I don't understand the question. You'll be asked if they are boy/girl twins, if they are ID, if they were conceived naturally or via some sort of fertility treatment. You'll be told how much they wanted twins or how their sister in laws, cousins friend has twins. I don't have a problem with most people, but I do not like the ones who decide to try to touch my kids. I will tell them that they can't. I don't want random people touching me or my hair, so why would I let them touch my kids?
def don't be afraid to tell people not to touch! I still tell people not to touch. don't be afraid to tell people to go away either. I normally only tell people to go away when the girls are fussy. I can't and won't carry on a conversation about whether someone thinks they are identical or not when I have to fussy or crying babies to deal with. People really do come up with the weirdest questions. Lately though I have received more attention from my stroller! People are always asking what it is and where to get it. Generally I don't care if people ask questions or want to talk. I only care if we are in a hurry or the girls are fussy.
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Last edited by nateandjenny; May 10th, 2011 at 05:43 AM.
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  #14  
May 5th, 2011, 06:13 PM
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okaay, so I'm feeling a little more better prepared of what to expect with newborn twins!! (help?)
Save the snickers, but I reaaally can't help feeling like once I HAVE the babies things will be so much easier. I'm not a fan of being pregnant, and although I'm not quite 25 weeks, was told by my OB today that I am much larger than normal due to huge amounts of fluid around each baby, this doesn't make things easier!!
I was hoping that just by being able to MOVE properly, my life would be so much easier, exhausted or not!
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  #15  
May 6th, 2011, 06:17 AM
1+twins's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Have you tried using a wet washcloth. I had to do this with my Brooklynn for a while. I had to strip one down to a diaper to get them to wake up. I remember stripping both down one night because they woke up to eat and then tried to fall asleep. Not sure if you have tried either yet, but that was successful for me until they got old enough to wake up more.
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  #16  
May 6th, 2011, 11:32 AM
Celry's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I used to play with their ears. Your finger going over the ear opening makes enough noise and is a little annoying. That was enough to keep mine up sometimes while eating. I didn't like a lot of the other methods people suggested to me, but this one worked and didn't seem cruel like flicking their feet.
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Thank you peimum for my siggie






Dec 26 '08, BFP after 21 months thanks to acupuncture
Jan 14 '09, first u/s one strong heart beat
Jan 28, '09, second u/s, Surprise! two strong heart beats
Aug 13, '09 Arya and Eiley are born on what would have been their great grandmother's 105th birthday
365 Days in a Roe


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  #17  
May 6th, 2011, 12:23 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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you want real? twins suck until they start sttn, unless you have a full time live in caregiver, add sibs to that and it gets worse. The first 12 weeks are brutal, as with any nb, but 100x worse with twins, if it sucks right now, its normal. But once they're 12 weeks, they become human again and respond better to scheduling.

my twin survival must do's:
1-swaddle them if you want them to sleep, very tight, all the time, until they're 5 months old and roll themselves out
2-you need an ac powered swing for each twin, keeps them upright enough to help with reflux, plus they'll learn to sleep in those, they will save your life until they're 5 months old and try to climb out
3-white noise in their room anytime you want them to sleep. Night time is for cribs and white noise, nap time is in the swing with ambient household noise. If you want these kids to get on a night routine, you have to teach them what night means. They don't know, all they know is eat and poop and scream, teach them what a 12 hour night should feel like, they will adapt.
4-cry a little each day, its okay, nb twins suck, seriously--then it gets better. Nobody wants to hear the truth when pg, but the reality is that nb twins suck unless you have a full time day and night nanny. Its okay, it will get better.
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  #18  
May 6th, 2011, 12:37 PM
nat1970's Avatar Nicole - Mom2Leah,Ty,TJ
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarieJ View Post
you want real? twins suck until they start sttn, unless you have a full time live in caregiver, add sibs to that and it gets worse. The first 12 weeks are brutal, as with any nb, but 100x worse with twins, if it sucks right now, its normal. But once they're 12 weeks, they become human again and respond better to scheduling.

my twin survival must do's:
1-swaddle them if you want them to sleep, very tight, all the time, until they're 5 months old and roll themselves out
2-you need an ac powered swing for each twin, keeps them upright enough to help with reflux, plus they'll learn to sleep in those, they will save your life until they're 5 months old and try to climb out
3-white noise in their room anytime you want them to sleep. Night time is for cribs and white noise, nap time is in the swing with ambient household noise. If you want these kids to get on a night routine, you have to teach them what night means. They don't know, all they know is eat and poop and scream, teach them what a 12 hour night should feel like, they will adapt.
4-cry a little each day, its okay, nb twins suck, seriously--then it gets better. Nobody wants to hear the truth when pg, but the reality is that nb twins suck unless you have a full time day and night nanny. Its okay, it will get better.
LOL

Even though mine are almost 10 months, I totally forgot about swaddling. You are so right, mine always slept with swaddled. Nap time and night time. I had mine sleeping from 8pm-6pm from about month 3. They started sleeping until 8am at around month 7. It does get better, but then they get mobile and watch out you will never sit down.
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Last edited by nat1970; May 6th, 2011 at 01:02 PM.
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  #19  
May 6th, 2011, 07:36 PM
CrystalAnne's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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You guys are so helpful with your suggestions and support. Thankyou!!! I will try some of these things out and see if it helps
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  #20  
May 6th, 2011, 07:51 PM
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OMG YES!! SWADDLE! It was a must for us in the beginning! Good luck! It will get better, I promise.
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