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I think I have got "going-out-with-twins"ophobia


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  #1  
February 12th, 2008, 09:17 PM
sonnetjie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I dread going anywhere with the twins. And not because they are difficult when we go out, but because it messes up their routine. When we are at home, I know when they should eat, when they should sleep, etc. Everything works out fine and they go to bed on time and sleep well at night. As soon we go out, everything is in shambles and I feel like I have no control anymore... It's really getting to my husband. With the other two were babies, we used to go out all the time and it wasn't an issue...

For example. Some friends of ours phoned and asked us to come over to their place for a barbeque on Saturday. It will probably start and about 5 or 6 and go on till about 11. I don't want to go! They live in a converted barn. It sounds strange, but it is actually quite nice. Except that sounds travels through the whole place. There will probably be a few drink going round. So we'll have lots of noise, music and loud adults. There is a room where they could sleep, but it won't be quiet by any means. Not that they sleep in quiet at home, but at least it's not a full blown party going on all the time...

We haven't been out in ages and I know hubby needs to get out. I don't want to end up sitting with the babies inside, having to act like an adult, while he is outside drinking (not that he drinks much) and having fun. I'd rather let him and the older boys go alone. But that would create problems as the people already think I am funny and don't like them as we have not gone over to their place in ages.

I also don't want them coming over here and leaving me to clean up the mess. I would rather want to go over during the afternoon and be able to come back at around 7 to still settle the babies on time for sleeptime...

Am I just being paranoid? Should I just go? Please tell me you understand...
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  #2  
February 12th, 2008, 09:25 PM
TheyGrowLikeWeeds's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I wouldn't go. It's not about them and how they feel about you hanging out with them or not. You have to do what's best for you and your babies. If they don't have a quiet place for your babies to relax, then by all means, don't go. It sounds like routine is important to you and it may even be important to your twins. Maybe when they are older you can go to the louder parties when they could probably handle it. your friends need to understand your obligation to your kids and how they need to cut you some slack when it comes to choosing between them and what's best for your babies.

I wouldn't go, personally, but that's just me. I'm fine with that for myself and I don't care how my friends see it. I do what's best for me and my friends/family just have to deal. I'm not being cold. I do feel very bad when it comes to having to make that choice, but I just know my limits.
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  #3  
February 13th, 2008, 06:17 AM
3Xblessed's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Is it possible to go just for a couple of hours (if it starts at 5 get there when it starts and leave at 6:30?). Dh and I do that if we want to go somewhere together....

Otherwise don't go....you have to do what will make you and the babies comfortable. I send dh to parties by himself all the time....
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  #4  
February 13th, 2008, 08:55 AM
mighttyjomomma
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Quote:
Is it possible to go just for a couple of hours (if it starts at 5 get there when it starts and leave at 6:30?). Dh and I do that if we want to go somewhere together....

Otherwise don't go....you have to do what will make you and the babies comfortable. I send dh to parties by himself all the time....[/b]
If you do decide to go, I think this sounds like the best idea. Like you, I think routines are SO important, I usually make plans around it, and if it doesn't fit then it doesn't happen. Not to mention, as a mother of twins not only is it important for the kids, but its important for your sanity, know what I mean???
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  #5  
February 13th, 2008, 12:37 PM
sonnetjie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I knew you guys would understand. And routine is very important to me and the babies. I think you guys are right. We might go for a bit and if hubby and the older boys want to stay they can, but the babies and I are coming home. Thanks.
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  #6  
February 13th, 2008, 01:33 PM
mom2my3boyz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I totally understand that! I wouldn't go unless you can fit it to your routine. The other people need to understand that you have infant twins and they need to stay on a schedule. Hopefully they can respect that.
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  #7  
February 14th, 2008, 09:54 AM
Toban's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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That's what I'd likely do!

Make sure that the two of you get out, though. Believe me.... if you don't get out you'll resent each other, and your relationship with suffer. BTDT......

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  #8  
February 14th, 2008, 11:32 AM
mommyoffive's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think it sounds very reasonable. Honestly I have found that the only people that understand how hard twins are .. are parents of twins.

Is it possible to go for a few hours, leave your kids with a babysitter. Then leave your dh there and come home?
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  #9  
February 14th, 2008, 02:23 PM
LisaB's Avatar Mom to twins + 1
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I can see how sticking to a routine would be important with twins! If it were me I wouldn't go, unless it were very briefly. Can DH go by himself or get a ride home if you leave early? Or if it's important for you to go, can you find a sitter? Good luck!
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  #10  
February 14th, 2008, 03:44 PM
Jill0924's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I would say to get a sitter if you can. You sounded a bit stressed, and a night "off" may be just what you need. I agree that it is important to spend time with DH sans kids, even if it is at a party. Good Luck!
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