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DH and I had a few LONG talks about why he was so hesitant and how he made me feel when he was reniging on our agreement to TTC. He is just SO scared. He really thinks I might die trying to have this child. I really don't think I will (otherwise I wouldn't try it. I need to be here for Sarah Beth). Finally we decided to try. If this pregnancy goes bad, there will be no more. I think I'm ok with that though. I do still want to foster and possibly adopt one day, but I just want ONE more chance at a healthy pregnancy.
We didn't discuss miscarriage. I'm praying about how to broach that topic. I almost don't want to bring it up, but I don't want him saying if we miscarry at 4 weeks that "well, that was our one chance... no more." You know?
He doesn't want to tell anyone IRL. I asked if I could tell y'all and he said that was ok. So, PLEASE pray for us. I need this to work and I need this to be a healthy LONG pregnancy when we do get pregnant.
I am so glad he opened up and was honest with you. That is great. And it's even better that you guys are now TTC! I think i nthe event of an early miscarriage he is not too unreasonable (hopefully) to understand that that is just a very common, though tragic, occurence.