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  #1  
July 27th, 2009, 09:42 PM
Proud Momma
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,781
I'm a very obsessive and worrisome person, if you haven't already noticed! . So my predicament is: do I start thinking of baby names, do I start to tell people we're pregnant, do I start looking for maternity clothes, do I start looking for cute baby clothes and stuff for the nursery, etc, etc, etc ?

I worry either way. I worry that if I don't do all that above stuff, that it's as if I'm telling myself that something will go wrong; but then if I do start that stuff, then I worry that I'm being too overly confident about this pregnancy, but *gulp* what if something goes wrong because I'm too confident. Ugh, either way I feel as if I'm jinxing myself.

Maybe I should at least wait until I'm done the first trimester? Gah, life would be so much easier if I were a psychic!

Last edited by LaLaLa1; July 27th, 2009 at 09:44 PM.
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  #2  
July 28th, 2009, 07:48 AM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,842
You and I had very similar losses, so I will tell you what I am planning to do when pregnant, and maybe that will help you.

When I get pregnant, I will immediately tell my parents, my siblings, my husband's parents, and my husbands siblings (and you guys of course). I will buy maternity clothes as soon as I need them, though I'm a big girl and can hide my baby belly for a little while. At 12 weeks, we will tell everybody else, except my coworkers, they can just figure it out on their own. We'll start auditioning names immediately, because DH is so **** picky. We won't start the nursery until after 18 weeks, the point at which we lost Ethan. At 7 months, we will trade my husband's sports car in for something more family friendly.
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  #3  
July 28th, 2009, 08:17 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
Either way, nothing you do will actually affect the outcome of your pregnancy. I know you know that but it's really hard to believe. I chose to act as if I expected to take the baby home. It didn't always work. There were times that I did feel like I was "jinxing" myself. I just found it easier if I forced myself to be positive, kwim?

Good luck honey. It's going to be okay.
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  #4  
July 28th, 2009, 08:34 AM
grlpisces's Avatar Dynamite w/ a laser beam
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: 32.918289,-97.272266
Posts: 1,758
Quote:
Originally Posted by rebeccabaltimore View Post
At 12 weeks, we will tell everybody else, except my coworkers, they can just figure it out on their own.
<<nodding>> This is what I chose to do. I told only those co-workers I consider to be close friends who will keep their mouths shut and not spill the beans to the entire world. And no, I haven't even told my boss yet because #1, he's sure to make some smart-aleck comment about my being pregnant "again?? so soon??" and because #2, I want to get past my 7 month mark --- when Noah died / Julia was born.

Why? I haven't got an explanation for my insanity.
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  #5  
July 28th, 2009, 01:20 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,095
It is so hard to be pregnant after a stillbirth. I think you should play it by ear. If you see something and want to buy it, then go for it. If you want to tell people, then tell them. Try to let go of the worry and embrace the joy. I know that is so much easier said then done, and to prove it I will share what I have done up until now.
I didn't tell anyone except my mother (I needed her to babysit Connor while I was at a number of doctor's appointments) and my best friend until I was about 17 weeks pregnant. I told people at work at the same time I told our friends and family because they would have heard eventually, and I thought I would do the the courtesy of telling them myself. The only maternity clothes I needed to buy was an outfit for my cousin's wedding last weekend. Everything else was left over from my previous two pregnancies. The nursery will (hopefully) be started next weekend. We are renovating that room, so it is a big job involving removing paneling, wallpaper, mudding and sanding so we need to get started soon. I have not bought one single baby item. I just can't bring myself to do it. I look, but I have some sort of block that won't let me buy.
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  #6  
July 29th, 2009, 02:35 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: CT
Posts: 982
I say take all the happy memories you have of your pregnancy with Katrina and allow yourself to feel those things again for this baby! I know that is easier said than done, but really...if there is one thing I learned from Joey it was that I am SO happy to have the memories I do...the belly shots, the ultrasound pics. I truly cherished and treasured every moment of his pregnancy. I hadn't visited this board but I am on another mommy board where I have read about losses...I made the decision before I was even pregnant with Joey that anything can happen...and if it does I want as many memories of that baby as possible. I want to cherish every day.
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Married to my best friend Tom since 2004 (together since 1999)
Mommy to two little boys:
Jamie ~ 7-12-04 ~ fun, crazy, transformer loving tough-guy mama's boy
and
Joey ~ 4-4-09 ~ born sleeping ~ held under my heart for 40wk1d, in my arms for just 6 short hours but he will be in my heart forever
And finally holding my little girl,Felicity Rose, Born into Daddy's loving hands on June 9, 2010

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  #7  
July 29th, 2009, 05:41 PM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,192
I told everybody. So far nobody has outwardly acted weird about it. Most people are very excited. I think since we found out it's a girl that makes it easier for other people to separate it from Roald and also people act overly excited this time because it's girl....as though having a boy is less exciting. But anyways, like Brittanie said, I personally don't believe in superstitions or that anything we think is going to change the outcome of our pregnancies. But it's still going to be filled with worries and anxieties, etc.

And as far as anyone acting strange, if Katrina's problem was rare and not liekly to happen again, explaining that will help a good deal. People will understand that just because you lost one baby doesn't mean you are going to lose every single one. We are scared crapless with the problems this pregnancy but we both seem to be dealing with it. He is like in denial and I am worried inside but just keep pretending like no matter what she is coming home. We are working on the nursery and my sister is planning my baby shower for October.
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  #8  
July 30th, 2009, 09:07 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,304
With my 2nd I told my mom and dad when I was 10-12 weeks because they came up for a visit and I had to tell someone besides my dh. I told my work when I was 6 1/2 months and we told my dh's mom when i was 7 months (she causes a lot of stress). As for co-workers I told a few close ones and that was it. I didn't get anything for the nursery until near the end of June and Owen was born at the end of July. I think you should do with whatever makes you feel comfortable. I don't think setting up the nursery early or late or telling people early or late has any baring on the outcome, it's just a personal choice to do those things when you feel comfortable. I get the jinxing thing because I felt if I let myself be too happy about the pregnancy it would end. I wish pregnancy was easier.
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