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Were your 2 pregnancies after your loss very different?
I am feeling very different this time.
With Bella I worried and worried about m/c from day one, I was in having ultrasounds and tests from the very start and it took a few months for even a small amount of that fear to subside, of course it all came back 10fold around the time we lost Sebastian.
This time, this is going to sound horrible but I just don't feel much emotion at all. I am happy I am pregnant and blessed but I just don't feel scared of a loss at this point. I haven't really worried about m/c and haven't obsessed oover cramping or lack of symptoms. I avoided even telling my OB until 8 weeks and when I went in I turned down an U/S and said I'd wait until the 12 week screening to get one. I think because I don't feel pregnant at all my mind is avoiding everything. Once I see the baby maybe it's going to sink in that I am really pregnant and the worry will begin.
It's just very different, I am happy that I am not stressed but I feel guilty about it too.
I was less stressed at the beginning with Patrick. It wasn't until I suddenly stopped throwing up at 13 weeks that I worried for a bit. And then it wasn't until the very end that I started getting really paranoid (since I lost Cora at 38 weeks). But I was more relaxed up until 30 or so weeks.
Don't feel guilty honey. Each pregnancy is its own rocky emotional journey.
With Owen I was much more stressed about everything. I got pregnant with Avery when Owen was almost 6 months so I think the distraction of looking after Owen helped. I did stress a lot in the 3rd trimester though.
Easy for me to say but try not to feel guilty.
Owen, Avery, Samantha and forever missing Jake born still 08/01/99.
I have only had one subsequent pregnancy and I am currently 35 weeks. I don't know how I will feel next time but I think what you are feeling is probabaly totally normal. I think for some people they will continue to worry just as much with each pregnancy while some will worry less like you and some may even worry more. I think it just goes by the inidividual.
I do know that once I passed my loss mark of 25 weeks I worried a little bit less. And ever since 32 weeks when I became highly distracted my marital problems I can't believe how the pregnancy is flying by. I think being "distracted" by something, whether it is a positive or a negative, affects our level of conscious worry. Yes...I still have scared moments. But sometimes I swear I forget I am pregnant when I am so worried thinking about other non-pregnancy problems.