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I mean, fears of losing the baby aren't stupid, they're pretty understandable.
But then there's the other things. Like today I was saving some pictures in the baby's folder on my computer and I realized, I don't have enough stuff saved! With Devin I had so many pictures and designs and this and that.... obviously since I went to 36 weeks with him. I'm only almost-12-weeks with this one. But I looked at that folder and panicked, thinking I don't have enough stuff to remember this baby by if it dies!
I have my first-tri screening tomorrow morning, and as usual I'm feeling very anxious about it. Even though I feel fine. And making it every worse is that this ultrasound won't be with my reproductive clinic's u/s tech that I adore, it's at the u/s center in the hospital - the same place we found out Devin was dead. I knew it was going to be there, but suddenly today I was like... ****. ****. Sitting in that waiting room? And possibly in the same u/s room? Ugh. I'm so glad Den's going with me. And I'm really glad it's first thing in the morning. Hopefully I can sleep.
I really hope everything is perfect tomorrow, like it should be. I'm a little excited to see pictures of my baby again - and that Den will be there to see baby moving around. I'm just... scared.
I totally understand those ultrasound fears. I felt the same way with the picture thing. I took belly pictures twice a week with Erin. Part of it is because Matt wanted to put them all together into an animation thing at the end, and part of it was because I had so few of Cora. I didn't want to regret not having "enough" pictures if I lost Erin too.
I can't wait to hear how great your ultrasound went tomorrow when you get back!
Your fears are completely understandable. I wish we could all go through pregnancy without all these fears but its just the way things are now. I hope you have a wonderful ultrasound and get to see your little one moving around like crazy.