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This should be one of my last freak out vents since I only have 10 more days to go!!! J But these last 10 days are making me crazy.
The timeline of this pregnancy is as of right now almost EXACTLY the same as Alyssa. My last OB appt with Alyssa was Tuesday November 25th, 2008 – Everything was fantastic. Tuesday ,November 24, 2009 will be my last OB appt with Tessa before I am induced. I found out Alyssa had died Saturday November 29th, 2008… I will be induced with Tessa on Saturday November 28th, 2009. Granted…this year things will be much different but I can’t help but just think of how it’s the same timeline. I know the night before I’m induced (Next Friday) I will not be able to sleep because Alyssa died sometime overnight on that Friday…so I will have no sleep going into an induction and probably get no sleep Saturday night either because I will have my Tessa here!!!
I am trying to look at the timeline as a sign from Alyssa that this is her way of letting me know everything will be okay. But I am also scared to death! I am scared to go to the doctors that Tuesday because I know last time everything was okay and then a couple days it wasn’t…how is that different this time? Thankfully I do have an NST scheduled for Friday morning but still…there is still Friday night to get though. I am going to be laying there making sure she is moving 24/7 which will make me crazy bc she doesn’t move 24/7.
Am I being too crazy? I told you by the end of these next 10 days I am going to be a mess!!!!
Anyone on here have a blackberry?! I can BBM you when I’m going crazy and have you tell me it’s all going to be okay!!! Haha seriously though I don’t know what I’m going to do…family understands, DH understands, but they don’t truly understand.
Ugh 10 more days…. Help me get through these 10 more days.
Ok, I know I would be like that too. But just forget about the dates. It's a different pregnancy, a different baby. It's just a coincidence that the dates work in a similar way. And you also will be only 38 weeks which is different from last pregnancy. Plus Alyssa is watching over you. Everything will be fine.
But if e-mailing will really make you feel better, let me know because my dh has blackberry, and I could get it from him.
I agree with these ladies, Jen! Just remember --- as cyber-aunties, not only are we awaiting the delivery of a healthy, kicking, screaming Tessa but we are also here for you every step of the way for the next 10 days (and beyond!).
Hang in there, Mama (and hang in there, Tessa!! We can't wait to meet you!!)!
Edited to add --- I don't have a crackberry , but I'd be happy to PM you my work email address so if during the day you need to vent (w/ clean language, of course .... ), I would be happy to calm your frenzied butt right down. That's what friends are for!
Thank you to Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggie!
I'm Barb, Mom to Angel on Earth Julia Rose (7*22*08), her twin brother Angel in Heaven Noah (7*22*08), and rainbow baby Sydney Noelle (12*4*09).
*a special 'thank you' to all the blinkie creators for their talents*
Last edited by grlpisces; November 18th, 2009 at 01:55 PM.
I would feel the same way. I was induced (not planned) on November 12 and had her that night at 11:15 (11-15 November 15 is Roald's birthday)...November 13 was the day last year we found out Roald was dead. And we were released from the hospital on Roald's birthday. I stayed up until 12:30 AM when he was born on his birthday and cried my eyes out. I was sitting in the same hospital in a hospital bed again. I am still depressed we didn't get to make it Roald's day. We went to his grave and put a balloon in Vera's hand then let it slip away and it flew off. That's all we got to do. And my family went there and decorated it before we were released because they knew we didn't have time to buy anything to take out there (we weren't released til the afternoon and I had to buy a breast pump which was at a store 45 minutes from the hospital and they closed early Sunday). And of course the cemetery is closed after dark.
It is going to be hard and exciting for you. I know how that feels. But you will get through it.
Thanks everyone! You have no idea how much the support means. Its just so hard. I wake up in the middle of the night in a panic!!! Thankfully I only have to work today then Monday and half day on Tuesday then I can be at home and not be worried at work. Nights are the hardest for me...I have such a hard time when I wake up in the middle of the night. I think its because she died overnight and im so scared of that happening again.
Thankfully I have a ton of appointments coming up. NST today, then Next week I have and NST on Mon, Wed, and Fri, then and OB appt on Tuesday with my induction scheduled for Saturday...I will be there everyday except Thanksgiving.
Please everyone keep me in there thoughts...im going to try my best to get through these next 9 days without becoming crazy!