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  #1  
January 15th, 2010, 10:20 AM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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So I just wanted to let you all know that missed it, that i'm pregnant again!!!

Due September 28th....I see my ticker is gone too...I'm going to have to re-add it today.

This morning I got a little sad thinking that Ella is going to be more forgotten and people are going to think i'm replacing her....I don't know what to think, i'm happy, but so sad at the same time....I wish I could bring her back, but I can't, but at the same time I feel guilty about loving/wanting another baby...anyone else have those same feelings?
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  #2  
January 15th, 2010, 11:24 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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I did, yes, had all those same feelings. It's hard, and nothing you feel is wrong.

We won't forget Ella. Congrats again!

((all posts made yesterday got deleted, not just yours. really annoying.))
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  #3  
January 15th, 2010, 11:58 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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I feel exactly the same way. We havent' told anyone yet because we're still thinking of how to tell. I know that my family will definately think that now we are all ready to move on and would be replacing Eric. I know that I am not replacing him but at the same time I wondering will I be thinking of him as often as now or will the baby distract me from that?
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  #4  
January 15th, 2010, 12:06 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Quote:
Originally Posted by helen123 View Post
I feel exactly the same way. We havent' told anyone yet because we're still thinking of how to tell. I know that my family will definately think that now we are all ready to move on and would be replacing Eric. I know that I am not replacing him but at the same time I wondering will I be thinking of him as often as now or will the baby distract me from that?
Both.
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  #5  
January 15th, 2010, 01:16 PM
noworries
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I'm right there with you too Megan. Luckily, I know my family (at least my mom) will never forget Eli or think that this new baby makes everything ok. Hugs. And congrats again!
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  #6  
January 15th, 2010, 03:09 PM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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do you guys ever worry that your going to think of the new baby as the baby you lost? I'm so worried about that...I know it's a different baby, but at the same time I have all these feelings like well what if it's her coming back? I hope that makes sense.
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  #7  
January 15th, 2010, 07:49 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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I guess deep down I sort of feel that way even though I don't beleive they would come back so soon or to the same family or in the same form of life. I know that I'm secretly wishing for a boy (just can't help it) althought I will be happy whether it's a boy or girl who I can finally bring home. Sometimes another weird thought is crossing my mind that it would be nice to have twins this time around (like if I meant to give birth 3 times, why not have twins this time around, I know, it sounds kind of like I want to replace him even though I don't).
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  #8  
January 15th, 2010, 07:58 PM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I understand what your saying...No way am I trying to replace Ella....Another thing is, I still wish I could have her back, and I feel guilty about that too....It's like I just feel bad no matter what I think...I hope as things get more real i'll feel differently....I'm already worried about this pregnancy ....I'm trying to keep it to myself...I just want it soooo bad that if something happens i'm not sure what im going to do.
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  #9  
January 15th, 2010, 09:24 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Someone asked me when I was pregnant with Erin if I thought that Erin was Cora coming back. The answer was no, I definitely knew it was a different personality.

As for feeling bad about whatever you feel...it's because no situation you come up with is "right." "Right" would be having Ella here, having never lost her. Since that's not possible, nothing feels right, so it all feels bad.

You love Ella. You will continue to love Ella throughout your pregnancy and after this baby is born and comes home and grows up. You will also love this baby, the same as yo love all your other children. It's amazing what the human heart can do.

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  #10  
January 15th, 2010, 10:38 PM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks Brittanie...I hope in time things will make more since to me...I know this baby isn't Ella, maybe it's my mind just wishing it was....I hope in time i'll get past even thinking that for just a second.

Another thing...did you all find it hard to get attached to your new pregnancy in fear of losing it? I am very happy, but at the same time I feel like i'm holding myself back...I kind of did that with Ella too because I was spotting and I was worried...I eventually stopped feeling that way, but now i'm worried that i'm going to go threw this whole pregnancy without bonding with my baby because i'm scared something will happen again....Once I got into my 2nd trimester, and we knew she was healthy and everything I let my gaurd down...Now that I know anything can happen and any time in a pregnancy makes me worry that it's going to affect me to the point of not wanting to bond...I hope that makes sense...I noticed that i'm starting to get "pregnancy brain" and i'm having to re-type things and re-read everything lol
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  #11  
January 15th, 2010, 10:47 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Don't worry about making sense honey. That made sense to me. I felt all that. I struggled with that my entire pregnancy with Erin. I don't think I truly bonded with her until I was holding her in my arms, so I don't have any advice to give you. I just tried to tell myself each day that THAT DAY everything was going perfectly as far as I knew it. I was pregnant and my baby was alive, RIGHT THEN. I think "everything is okay right now" is my mantra while pregnant. If I thought any further ahead than one day I'd fall apart.
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