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My first appointment is on March 2nd and I have this overwelming feeling that i'm going to go in and get an ultrasound and the baby won't have a heartbeat..It's all I can think of....I had a feeling something was wrong with Ella, so it makes me wonder if i'm feeling this way because something is wrong or am I feeling this way just because of what happend in the past? it's affecing my sleep and my mood....I feel so depressed and unhappy right now....I have a doppler, but i'm still too early and i've only tried 2 times for a minute because I didn't want it to worry me..Am I going to feel this way every time my next prenatal appointment nears, or will it get better? I think i'm also having anxiety attackes, my heart races I feel like I can't breath...I'm even waking up in cold sweats and having nightmares...I'm not sure how i'm going to make it another 30 weeks.
I'll be honest, I've felt that way before all of my appts. so far. I think it's just that after losing a child, we are now all the more aware of the things that can happen. I try not to let my worries overwhelm me and I think I've done a pretty good job of that so far but I still worry that no heartbeat will be found at every single appt.