Wow, this is a huge site. I've been lurking for awhile trying to get the lay of the land, so to speak, and finally decided to join today.
I'm turning 34 next month, no kids, never been pregnant, and this is my first month TTC. I'm a baker/pastry chef and also do freelance marketing & advertising part time.
I was married fairly young and we just didn't work out. We had an amicable divorce and are still good friends. My ex-hubby and I never tried for a baby as the timing was never quite right with our careers and such.
After we divorced, I dated a little but stayed single for a couple years. I then started what turned into an almost 5 year relationship that quickly deteriorated into a living hell of alcoholism and abuse. I felt trapped as I was helping raise his child from a previous marriage, and I'd moved 600 miles from my family before I was married. No support, nowhere to turn, and I had the typical abuse-victim mindset. After one particularly brutal & bloody night, I took my purse, my cell phone, and a handful of clothes and left. I moved in with a friend for awhile, and after almost a year decided to return back home to my family.
I'd say we never TTC, but if anyone is familiar with the effects of severe alcoholism on a man....well, let's just say it's not like we could have tried even if I'd wanted to. Certain things just did not "function."
Ugh, thank god I didn't marry that jerk!
SO! Once I got my head out of my butt, I made plans to move back to the town I was born and raised. Most of my friends had moved away and I really didn't know anyone, so about a month before I moved I thought it might be a good idea to try and make an acquaintance or two. I signed up for a dating/friendship site, got the usual creeps messaging me, and after wading through all the crap came across a polite, interesting fella. We chatted online for a few weeks while I prepared for the move, eventually agreeing to get together for coffee once I was settled in. He was not too long out of a long term, bad relationship and I made it clear that I wasn't looking for anything serious, just wanted to meet some new people, etc.
Well, our first date was pretty much straight out of the movies - bolt of lightning, instant chemistry, etc. The coffee shop we went to was open 24 hours and we sat there for nearly 12 of those hours. Our second date was just as picture-perfect, and the third, and so on, and the whole time I kept insisting I didn't want anything serious.
Then one evening, less than a month after our first date, I was telling him a funny story about my sister and I arguing over who had "dibs" on our chosen baby names, and he immediately chimed in with the baby names HE'D already had picked out. At some point we both kinda stopped talking and looked at each other and that was the moment we both realized "Yeah, this is the person I'm going to marry." Once we both got comfortable with the idea that yes, we did want something serious, we did the whole engagement/move in together thing. We talked about baby names, settled on how many kids we wanted (2), discussed how we'd raise them, the whole nine yards.
Earlier this year we decided to switch from condoms to Depo for BC. Shortly before I made the doc appt, we had a "heat of the moment" evening and didn't use a condom. We didn't think much of it until AF was a couple days late. I've always had a very regular 28-30 day cycle and had never been late before. To compound that, I was having some heartburn & acid stomach at the same time. We waited it out until I was 2 weeks late and finally tested. Negative. We were relieved, AF finally showed up a week later, and I went on Depo in February.
About a week after I got the first shot, DF admitted that he was actually really disappointed that the test had been a BFN. Well, I owned up that I'd been relieved for the first hour, then afterward was really bummed about it too. We talked everything over for like 6 weeks and just kept coming to the conclusion that it was baby time.
I was to take my next Depo shot at the end May (I didn't), and June was our first month totally BC-free. O time for me is midmonth and we
did the deed a whole lot the entire month just to be sure we'd hit the right days.
AF is due in the next day or three and I'm hoping she doesn't show up. I had some nausea yesterday and my "girls" have been very sore/tender yesterday and today. Either AF is imminent or....she's not. Here's hoping there's no sign of her and, if there is, well we'll just enjoy trying again.
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