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New Here, 2nd time TTC, Mom of a 15 yr old....yeah, it's been a while.


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  #1  
October 1st, 2011, 02:28 PM
that_girl's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 264
Hi,

I am recently married to the most wonderful man in the world and we are TTC our first child together. My first child is almost 16 years old (AAAARRRGGGHHH Teenagers!!! <---If you have one of these already than you understand). My husband is the most amazing stepfather and we can't wait to expand our crazy family. I had my daughter when I was really young (pregnant at 17 and delivered at 18) and her father, who was 24, basically washed his hands of us and I haven't seen him since I was about 2 months along. If there are any teen moms out there, I know what you are going through so don't hesitate to contact me for support. I will be as open an honest about my experiences over the last 15 years as possible.

Here are some facts about me

Im 34
I was a teen mom.
Im located in Northern California (for now, we REALLY want to move out of this state)
My husband is 29
We have a 15 year old daughter (mine from a previous relationship)
We have been friends for 9 years, dated for 4 and married for 3 months.
As of today, we are on our 7DPO in the TWW and this is our 1st official month of Babymaking.


So that's me
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  #2  
October 1st, 2011, 08:07 PM
Nár lagaí Dia do lámh!
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Somewhere in NY
Posts: 7,459
to JM!

Wishing you lots of baby dust in your TTC journey!!

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  #3  
October 1st, 2011, 09:39 PM
LJD3Tdance's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Eagle, Idaho
Posts: 58,207
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Welcome to JM and GL!
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  #4  
October 2nd, 2011, 12:38 PM
kerian's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: South Africa
Posts: 33,718
hi, welcome and i hope you get your BFP soon!!

we would love for you to join us at the moms of girls board-Moms of Girls - JustMommies Message Boards
here are some boards you may be interested in checking out as well-
Moms of Teens and Preteens - JustMommies Message Boards
Am I Pregnant - JustMommies Message Boards
Trying to Conceive - JustMommies Message Boards
Newlyweds Trying to Conceive - JustMommies Message Boards
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  #5  
October 5th, 2011, 05:10 PM
MellieB's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Melbourne, Aust.
Posts: 64,110
Welcome!
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Our Angel Baby on Facebook

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  #6  
October 6th, 2011, 06:45 AM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
Hi and welcome, you should come check out the Blended Families Board.
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❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11



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  #7  
October 7th, 2011, 11:32 AM
MeggysMommy's Avatar 3 + 1
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Oregon
Posts: 10,199
Welcome!!!! When you get a little closer to AF time or whenever you start POAS you should come share some pics on the Am I Pregnant board We love to stalk pics!!!
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Cay wife to David mom to Megan 10/01/2010 and April 7/14/2013

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  #8  
October 7th, 2011, 01:55 PM
dmwinge's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Fargo, ND
Posts: 1,343
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I know what you mean about teenagers. I have an almost 17 year old, a 15 year old and a 19 month old. I hope you find some of the boards that we have that catch your eye. There's a lot of great ladies that have been a lot of help.
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Thank you Babydoll213 for the awesome siggy!
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  #9  
April 4th, 2012, 09:22 AM
CountryMama95's Avatar Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Dayton, Tennessee
Posts: 37
hi! im katlyn. kinda need some advice. i got 2 positive pregnancy test im fixing to be 17 and i would really like to know what to do now. i havent told my mom yet and i just want to know how you did it tell me about your journey you went through. you seem interesting. please get back to me! thank you
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  #10  
April 4th, 2012, 11:06 AM
that_girl's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 264
Hi Katlyn....I know you're going through a scary and uncertain time right now. I was in exactly the same position only about a year older than you when I found out I was pregnant. Im glad you found me because I had no one to talk to or ask for advice back then. The one thing I can tell you I regretted throughout my entire pregnancy was procrastinating to make a dr. appointment. I was young and I had no idea where I could go to see a dr. without my family finding out. Back in those days we didn't have internet because it wasn't readily available in our neighborhood so I had nowhere to go for information. I finally told my mom I was pregnant at about 3 months when she confronted me about my constant symptoms and that's when I/she made my first dr. appointment. She made it very clear how disappointed she was in me and that I was "ruining my life" by getting pregnant at 17. I imagine you may find the same type of response from your own mother. In hindsight, now that I am a mother of a 16 year old daughter, I understand the anger and disappointment my mother showed me was because I broke her heart. You may not understand this yet because you're still so young, but parents want the absolute best for their babies (and you will always be her baby no matter how old you get). They want to see you succeed in life and live without struggle. They want you to enjoy your youth and not grow up too fast because they know being a grown up isn't all it's cracked up to be. No matter your mom's reaction, you will get through it. If you plan to keep and raise your baby you will have to tell her. It won't be an easy conversation, but you will get through it.
You need to see a dr. as soon as possible. There should be resources available to you on the internet to help you find somewhere to go such as a teen pregnancy center or a free clinic where you can at the very least get some real actual medical advice. If you plan on going through with the pregnancy, you should start taking prenatal vitamins immediately. If you forget everything else I just mentioned remember this one thing.....see a doctor!

I will tell you what it's been like for me being a very young single mom. Everyone has a different story, but here's mine...
I never graduated high school like the rest of my class. I took my GED because back then pregnant girls were discouraged from attending my high school and I didn't want to go to the continuation/troublemaker school with all the potheads and losers. I dropped out of community college so many times due to (lack of sleep/lack of concentration/lack of time to study from being a single mom) that I finally got put on academic probation and just stopped re-enrolling. I worked minimum wage crappy job after minimum wage crappy job dealing with terrible bosses and inadequate pay. I didn't move out of my mom's house until I was 24 and that was only possible because she was helping me pay rent and buy food because I still wasn't making hardly any money and I was too proud to be a welfare mom. There was a period of time where I was probably 10-15lbs underweight because there wasn't enough food for both me and my daughter so I just ate her scraps every night. I finally went back to school but again failed to complete a degree because going to school while working full time and raising a child became too overwhelming and my job was unwilling to accommodate my school schedule. I wish I had been more dedicated and focused on school while I was still living at home with my parents with free childcare and no rent!! I am still making crap for money and working not one but 2 jobs right now, the better one only paying $11.80/hr with no benefits. All I can say is finish high school and go to college!! regardless or whether or not you keep your baby.

I have only had 2 relationships since getting pregnant way back when I was 17. The first guy was an a-hole with massive anger issues that he liked to take out verbally on me and my daughter every day. I still haven't forgiven myself for that one. The second relationship is the one Ive been in for the last couple of years with my awesome husband. Being a single mommy just doesn't really leave a lot of time for dating and other interpersonal relationships and honestly most guys that showed an initial interest in me completely fell off the face of the earth upon hearing that I had a child. I finally got married at 33 years old! My then 15 year old daughter was my maid of honor.

Now at 35 I am finally married, but we are still barely making ends meet. we are still renting a tiny 2br apartment. I will go to my grave with the guilt that I got to live in a house with a yard and even a pool when I was growing up and my daughter has never had any of that. Shes almost 17 and all she's ever known is a tiny 10X10 bedroom with views of parking lots and busy streets. You're supposed to give your kids a better life than you had and I have failed miserably at that. Like I said.....Finish school and go to college!!!!!!! I would have been much better off and we would have had a better life if I had done that while I was still 20something and living at home.

I can't give you advice about what to do as far as keeping or terminating your pregnancy or raising your baby vs. adoption. That's a very personal choice that only you can make because it's a decision that you will have to live with forever. Other people may tell you what to do, but remember that its YOUR decision. My mother didn't want me to keep my pregnancy but I felt (and still feel) very strongly that abortion is wrong. I couldn't give my daughter up for adoption either because I was in love with her from the minute I heard her heartbeat at my first dr. appointment. I have some regrets (like not finishing school, making silly teenager things a priority over my daughter when I was very young, ect..), however, keeping her is something I will never regret. Its been hard...so hard at times I just wanted to run away!! Being a parent isn't easy even under the best circumstances. I apologize to my mom all the time for all the stuff I put her through.....but we all get through it!

I know that was a long read. I only hope I drove home the point that you need to see a doctor right away and that if you plan on keeping your baby, you'll have to let you're mom in on it! Remember, it's your decision and no one else. I also hope that you see the importance of continuing your education so you don't end up struggling for the rest of your life. If you have anymore specific questions about anything I am open to answering almost anything if it will help you.
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  #11  
April 4th, 2012, 04:47 PM
wefrogy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Virginia
Posts: 16,994
Welcome to JM! Lots of great boards here! I hope you will join us on the moms of preteens and teens board
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  #12  
April 4th, 2012, 08:15 PM
i:heart:you's Avatar Super Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Scranton, PA
Posts: 17,012
WElcome!
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**Thank you Bokkechick for my awesome siggy**
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  #13  
April 10th, 2012, 02:20 AM
Hostile Uterus
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Abu Dhabi, UAE
Posts: 10
Welcome! We are on the same boat. I have a 12 year old girl and I am now ttc my second child. Been trying for quite a while and still no luck. I even thought of IVF procedure however, I was advised to do a fertility work up first. Are you in any treatment or medications or just ttc the normal way?

Thanks!
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  #14  
April 10th, 2012, 03:49 PM
that_girl's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 264
Hi momydesperate,

This post was actually just revived the other day (I originally posted it in October) and Im happy to say that I finally after 7 months of TTC got my BFP just the other day!! I thought we'd never get pregnant and seeing those negative tests and getting AF every month can get really discouraging. Just keep trying and it will happen. It can take months and for some even years to get pregnant and it seems forever when you're actually trying. I read that even if an egg gets fertilized, it only has a 20% chance of implanting and resulting in pregnancy....20%!!!! As soon as we stopped being so technical about it (ie: using ovulation tests, charting, ect.) and just started haphazardly doing it whenever we felt like it, we got pregnant. Just keep the faith.
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  #15  
April 13th, 2012, 06:52 PM
Dakotas_mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Okinawa, Japan
Posts: 10,239
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Good Luck and Welcome to Justmommies!!

We would love for you to join us on the married life board!
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  #16  
April 14th, 2012, 02:18 PM
sfarrow3's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,639
Welcome!!!
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  #17  
April 16th, 2012, 01:08 PM
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 18
What a story! Welcome! I am new as well!
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  #18  
April 20th, 2012, 12:15 PM
Valerie.'s Avatar Loving life as a mom
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,339
Hi and Welcome!
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