[CSmith]

Hi All!

So, for the entire 37 years of my life I have had no choice but to assume that I would be the Worlds Greatest Auntie! And I was perfectly FINE with that! As a small child I never thought about being a mom. Honestly, when the other girls were playing "mommy" with their dolls, I was playing like the dolls worked for me. NOT KIDDING. Guess I was born a career girl. (You'd think I'd be rich by now.)

I'd had some girlie problems when I was younger and although my doctor never actually said this, I overheard my nurses saying if I'd ever want to have children it would be difficult for me. Since I wasn't so inclined anyways, that sealed the deal. No kids for me! Well, after two failed marriages by the time I was 21 years old, (nope, not a type-o... two failed marriages indeed... Lets just say I used to run a hotline for domestic violence), I was determined NEVER TO MARRY AGAIN. I have tons of sisters and brothers who are procreating all over the place. And I'm a pretty darn good auntie if I do say so myself. So I thought I had my future all figured out! I'd be a happily single (although dating whomever I chose) career woman who "borrowed" other people's kids on the weekends! Sounded good to me!

And I made good on my promise to myself from 21 to 36, which is when I bumped into my new husband. We knew each other growing up but he moved away when he got married. He was also married before he was old enough to drink. Well he moved back about two years ago and uh... I guess the rest is history. He has three children from previous relationships so there was no pressure to have children on me. (I love those little munchkins and we can see them whenever we want, so all is good in the hood!) We got married on my birthday this past July on South Beach in Miami and had a blast! All our friends flew down for it and it was like a 4 day reception. We ate, drank and partied like the world was coming to an end. I try to focus on that rather than what happened when we got home.

I have hypertension. Like a mug. And because I also have an often-way-too-stressful job, I take pretty strong medication to keep my blood pressure in check. Well, that medicine coupled with the ridiculous partying in Miami is what we believe caused me to MC before I even knew I was PG. Apparently I came home from Miami with a package, but the meds and my alchoholic intake (although not drunkeness - ever), was not a good environment.

Although I had never actually wanted kids before (much like I never wanted to get married again), and I cried my eyes out in frustration when doc first said I was pregnant, when the next sentence was "but there is a chance you not carry much longer"... somehow, unexplicably, I was extremely sad. I suddenly wanted to know if there was anything I could do to reverse whatever was happening in there. Yup... suddenly I wanted to be a mommy. Docs changed my blood pressure medicine, gave me prenatal vitamins and progesterone suppositories and told me to take it easy. I did everything to the letter. Still, there was nothing I could do. My little raisin didn't make it.

--- ON TO THE GOOD HAPPY STUFF ---

I can now say that I am no longer opposed to motherhood! More than that, I am completly enthralled by the possibility of it! This is my very first month TTC, like right now... like tomorrow is the big OD! Which reminds me, I gotta wrap this up so I can get a BD in before my show comes on!

I will admit I'm scared outta my friggin mind. I'm 37 years old, which means i'll be 38 when I actually give birth... if I can give birth... and my whole PG will be high risk won't it? Not to mention I've seen it... I've been in the room for 8 of my nieces/nephews arrivals, and I'm here to tell ya... that "giving birth" junk is for the birds! But hopefully my sisters can be in the room watching me scream bloody murder for change sometime next year... Stay tuned!

[mat616]

Welcome!! This is a great group!! Helped me alot when I was TTC.

I really identify with your MC story. I was the mom of two children. I was an older mom already meaning I had my youngest at 33. I was done, no need, no want for more. Then on a whim I gave hubby a shot at 40 years old. I knew I was fertile but not charting or anything. I got pregnant, I was over the moon and then MC'd. It was devastating!! I didn't know I wanted a baby so badly.

That is when we started trying, really actively trying. Fertility docs and the charting and even 1 IUI. Nothing. For 18 months I delved deeper into a pit. It was horrible. We stopped. I mean stopped! I just couldn't take it anymore.

A few months later, I noticed that I had not ovulated and started my full menses two weeks early. I am a clock. My clock resets itself so I expected to be two weeks late the next time. We didn't plan. I waited and waited and waited. A day after my birthday (two years to almost the day of my MC), I took a pregnancy test! Positive!!

I had my daughter at 43!! She will be two years old in Feb. She is so precious to me.

Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and there is always hope!

Lots of baby dust to you!!

[livininin]

How exciting!! Welcome and lots of baby dust to you!

[mommy2Breana+Brandon]

Welcome!!!!

I am sorry to hear about your recent loss. Good luck TTC'ing.

[manikah01]

Hi,
That is when we started trying, really actively trying. Fertility docs and the charting and even 1 IUI. Nothing. For 18 months I delved deeper into a pit. It was horrible. We stopped. I mean stopped! I just couldn't take it anymore.




veterinary medicine

[CSmith]

Thank you all so much! As you can probably tell, I talk a lot! But ntil we really know what's going on, we've decided not to talk about it with friends and family. So this website was just what the doctor ordered!

Thanks again to all of you!

[Aillidh]

to JM!

I hope you get your big fat positive soon!

Wishing you lots of baby dust