[Born2BeAMama]

My name is Ashley and I'm new here!!

I am a stay at home mom and definitely don't mind it. But sometimes I feel jealous of my husband!! He goes to work, a medic for the Army, and some days does absolutely nothing!! And while he is at work doing nothing I'm here keeping up with everything and more. The bills, our two boys (1 and 3yrs), the house cleaning, and the errands!! And then when he comes home he sits on the couch and wants a brake. Ok fair enough but then when I ask him to help around the house he sighs and it takes him forever to get one thing done!! I just get so tired of being the one doing everything and have no chance to have a social life!! My kids are my social life. I don't really have friends...well at least ones that want to go out every once in a while. I feel jealous not that he's the one at work and I'm not...sure I would not mind working, but he gets to be around people of or around his own age and laugh and joke and just talk with them. Yea it still is at work but at least he gets the opportunity to get away from the kids and be an adult. Have adult jokes and conversations.

Am I being selfish?? Am I overreacting??...I am just tired of being the one mentally stressed or bluntly....dumb. My conversations of the day consist of "mama I do dis ting wit the odder ting!!" and babble from the other one.

Please give me advice!! Help this stressed, going crazy inside mother!!
How do I get that adult contact and still be a stay at home mom.

[OrangeHope]

Hi there and welcome!

I don't think your being selfish or over reacting, I am a SAHM myself and finding myself needing help at times. How ever, I really do love staying home with my DD but you said you that you don't mind it, so I am wondering, would finding a part time job and putting the kids in day care make it easier on you?

My DH takes some time till he gets the jobs done around the house, but normally since he's out working and I'm home I do everything myself unless he has a day off or we're having company over. I try and run my home and look at it as a little business, most nights before DH gets home I make it my ambition to have the house nice and clean, a warm meal for him and sometimes even some scented candles so he can have something to look forward to after a long day of work. If you put systems in your home for cleaning, running errands, cooking and such it really becomes so much easier.

If you would rather continue staying home and not getting a part time job would you be able to take the boys out to the park or church to meet other moms for a more social life?

Also, to take the stress off cleaning the house while managing 2 young boys would you be able to afford someone to come in and clean your house once a week or even once a month? if not, do you have any family that can help maybe watch the boys while you clean or just have some quiet mom time?

[melissamarie247]

Hi,
I am an Army Wife, too. We don't have children yet. We are trying and hoping but with PCOS it is a little difficult. I work as a sub at the Elementary School here in Germany. We live about 25 minutes from the military base, so I am in the same boat.. no adult conversation and my husband loves to make a mess everywhere like he is trying to make it difficult on me.. But then when I am really stressed he realizes it and tries to help but his "helping" sometimes makes it worse. The only way I get adult conversation is if I drag my husband out of the house to go meet up with other couples to go bowling or by going on Army sponsored Marriage Retreats (those are awesome- you should do one if you can. plus-free childcare).. Also, we invite other families over sometimes and let the children play together while we have adult time.

[FallinWoman]

Oh I totally get what you are saying!!! Heck, my DH sometimes doesn't even listen to me complain about my lack of sleep or my frustrations with the 3 year old because being a SAHM is what I wanted. True, but you could at least be someone I can vent to! Yes I love it but that doesn't mean that I enjoy when the baby nurses every 1.5 hours all frickin' night! Just a sympathetic ear would be nice!

Have you checked out the SAHM board?
http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f1...-home-mommies/