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I decided to sign up for a pregnancy forum because I've found myself in a pretty difficult situation and could use all the support I can get.
I found out I was pregnant right after the start of the new year, and due to the timing, it came with a lot of mixed emotions, although my fiance and I were both mainly very excited. The reason why the timing was so bittersweet is that we had just made a major move at the end of 2011 to pursue our common hobby and career goals. Within 2 months of the move I became pregnant, and all of our plans were then put on hold.
We are in our early 30's and in a very committed relationship and we knew that we could conceive at any time; as a result, we thought we'd be prepared when it happened, but nothing could've prepared us for the effect that pregnancy would have on my physical, mental and emotional state. Besides the obvious external factors and major changes that I needed to come to terms with, I also needed to get off of a prescription medication for anxiety as well as quit smoking. I think these factors along with the drastic spike in hormones threw me into a very quick & deep depression. I began struggling with daily activities and soon found myself unable to make it through the work day. I decided to leave work at the beginning of February and for the two months that followed I struggled every day to get by. I had two hospital stays during that time in which I was put on different medications, and I am finally now coming around halfway through my pregnancy (20 weeks).
Although I'm glad that I'm finally starting to feel like myself again, my days are still difficult to get through b/c I'm not used to being home and alone all day. I don't know many people in the area, let alone other mothers, since we barely had the chance to settle in. And with me not working, there's been a big strain on our financial situation.
Overall my fiance and I are very excited for the baby to come, but to be completely honest, I have really disliked everything about the pregnancy part. I never thought I'd have such a difficult time with it, and I just can't wait for it to be over. My friends and family back home keep telling me that it'll all be worth it in the end, and while I do believe them, I'm still trying to figure out each and every day how to get through it without panicking that I still have another 5 months to go.
Sorry for the long post but thank you to those who took the time to read.
If you're about 20 weeks that should put you due around the end of August, right? Then you'd be part of my DDC and all the ladies in there are absolutely wonderful! Even if you're on the cusp you should join us there and post anything you like. We'll all be there to help you through this!