[Brandiwine77]

Ok, this is a thinking one.

Dealing with MFI a lot of times requires more medical procedures/interventions. If someone you knew started criticizing you because they felt that it wasn't "natural", what would be your arguement? What would you say to have them your point of view?

[tasjaanalee]

I notice we're all avoiding this one.... definitely a touchy subject... I'll give it a shot...

It's particularly hard for me to argue it, since I'm the type of person who tries to avoid medical treatment in general, and keep things as 'natural' as possible (organic when I can afford it, green everything, blahblah)...

But I think the best arguement (and the one most people respond to), is that it really is a medical issue. If you were born with/developed any other chronic condition, would you not try to treat it? So why is this not something I should try to 'cure'? Do I not deserve children because I (or in this case, the hubs) am sick? How is that fair? Etc...

[txjovigal]

very nice answer tas

[RainyDayGirl]

This really is a tough one. Basically, I think it comes down to the fact that "natural" is a value-neutral word for me. Natural doesn't mean good or bad, it's just a descriptor. There are lots of wonderful natural things, like sunlight, plants, familial bonds, just as there are lots of horrible natural things; earthquakes, malaria, tsunamis.

If someone were criticizing me about my methods of family-making, I'd want to know what their real problem was. Is it that they think if I can't get pregnant by my husband then I shouldn't get pregnant at all? Is it that people should only be "allowed" to do some medical procedures and not others? Is it that the money I'm spending on ttc "should" go towards adopting an already born child?

There are a million reasons why many of us have struggled with the how and the why of becoming Moms. I think that's why a lot of us wish we could have just gotten a surprise pregnancy - when you are working so hard for something, you've gotta figure out why and whether it's worth it constantly.

Basically I'd end up saying "I've already weighed this out in my own mind with my own values and I'm not interested in hearing your criticism. Be supportive or keep it to yourself".

Ultimately the only ones whose opinions I care about on the topic are mine, my husband's and our child's.

[tasjaanalee]

Basically I'd end up saying "I've already weighed this out in my own mind with my own values and I'm not interested in hearing your criticism. Be supportive or keep it to yourself".

Brava, good answer!