[stargatemommy]

We just found out yesterday that DH has a balanced translocation between chromosomes 1 and 20. And that is the reason I have had 10 miscarriages. Now I know this is not his fault. but, I can't help but blame him a little and be a little pissed off at him. I love him and I don't like feeling this way.... has anyone felt this way? Does it wear off after a while?

[Hoosier Kitty]

My husband doesn't have that. I can understand your frustration. Has the doctor suggested IVF with PGD? I've seen few ladies got pregnant naturally. *kyle* got pregnant naturally and her dh had that condition.
Hang in there!

My husband has 0 sperm count and as far as we know I have no fertility issues. There was a time after IVF failed that I got really upset at him and couldn't help but thinking if I was with someone else I would be pregnant by now and it's totally not his fault, he didn't do anything to cause a 0 sperm count. Of course I would NEVER say that to him, he is as devestated as I am, but I just wanted to let you know I think it is normal to have some sort of anger. I think it's probably part of the grieving process. This is a tough thing to deal with.

[Daisee37]

I get a little mad, but mostly because HIS problem seems to only be affecting ME. He's too rational for his own good... he knows it's not his "fault," so he doesn't feel bad about it (nor should he). But meanwhile, I'M the one who has to be completely inconvenienced by going the RE every other day, I'M the one on all the meds, I'M the one undergoing procedures. He doesn't even come with me to appointments. He says he'll go if I really want him to, but I just feel like HE should WANT to go, without me saying something. I actually want him to feel at least a little bit guilty - enough to come with me to my IUI, for instance. So I guess I get angry that he doesn't feel bad, but not really angry about his MFI. I try to keep it in check though, since I know it's not his fault and me blaming him isn't going to help anything.

[missmaggimay]

I know how you feel and sometimes I do get upset of MI. It was bad enough that I have PCOS and don't ovulate regularly and then when we found out that DH has a low sperm count it was crushing. I know it is nothing that either of us can control but sometimes I think that if I was with someone else I would have been pregnant by now. It's frustrating because I am the one that has to go through all the procedures and all the pain.

[BeckyM]

I don't know if I could say I was angry at DH over him being infertile, it was just such a shock. I was angry at life, at God at first, and then the acceptance came and I was better with it. I have PCOS, am an older mama, so it took us a while just to get my cycles consistent and me ovulating, and then we were hit with the news that he had zero spermies. I was in shock and just sat and cried for hours that first day. My DH on the other hand, was able to handle it much easier, and I can remember him clearly saying "It is what it is, we will be parents, we just have to take different roads to get there."

[Tammyms]

I think it's normal... I felt it too. Not right away, but after it sunk in, I was like, wow, if you had been willing to at least get tested way back when I started, we could have done something about this by now! And all the time I felt broken and like it was all my fault (even though I know it's no one's fault) it wasn't just me. DH also has 3 kids with his ex wife, so part of me is bitter he could get her pg and not me... without ttc or wanting kids I might add!

I have a friend IRL who said the same thing, she gets mad at her DH for having antibodies... I think sometimes we just need to be mad and blame someone other than ourselves.

I actually talked to DH about this when I had my meltdown last weekend, I wanted him to understand how I felt and that way if I lashed out at him for no good reason, he'd have an idea why.