So DH and I watched a movie last night and after I just broke down crying . I'm excited to be moving forward with having a baby, but I'm really sad about being done trying to have DH's baby. I've been really worried lately about how DH feels about using donor sperm, even though he says he's ok with it and he suggested it, I still worry. He doesn't want to talk about it, so I really don't know how he's feeling other than, "I'm fine with it". There's not a whole lot of emotion in that response and it's a really emotionally influenced thing to decide! So I didn't know if he was just saying that because I want a baby or if he really meant it. Now that we're in our IUI cycle there's not much time left to tell me how he really feels before it's too late to back out. So back to last night, I was crying and DH asked me why, was it about a baby? and I said yes and told him I was sad we weren't going to be trying to have his baby anymore and he told me...this is the baby we are supposed to have. There is a reason I don't have sperm, it's for us to have this baby. When we have our kids and get to know them it won't be about them not having my genes, we will look at them and not be able to imagine life without them exactly who they are and we never would have had them if it wasn't for the donor sperm. So now I know that DH is 100% on board with this and that makes it easier to move on and what he said made a lot of sense to me and I've never thought about it like that before. I love my DH! Just wanted to share!

[Red Sox Mommy]

Aww that's so sweet. I'm glad he's on board with you. MFI is very hard. My DBF says no way would he EVER use donor sperm, but honestly, I think that's because I already have kids by someone else. If I didn't have kids, he might feel differently.

[*Mommy2Remington*]

That is SUPER sweet!! Awe~ I'm so glad that you two finally had a heart to heart about this whole thing. I don't know what your going through personally but I believe you two are doing the right thing. Just take one day at a time. When you see the baby jumping away on an ultrasound screen...you won't think any different of that beautiful baby...

[Crystal O_o]

((((HUGS)))))

I am so glad he is on board with you! Sometimes us women need to know what the men are thinking because we worry so much!

[BeckyM]

I'm so glad you too had that talk, and I'm so happy he's so sweet & 100% for this.

Originally Posted by *~Keri2727~*

When you see the baby jumping away on an ultrasound screen...you won't think any different of that beautiful baby...

Very true, and I can tell you personally that once you hold that beautiful baby, it too is amazing!! And in no way does it not feel like this baby doesn't belong with both of us and that he's not our child. And to watch my DH hold & snuggle with our DS, you would never know that we used donor sperm to conceive. DH is the Dad, there's absolutely no question, and it sounds like that's the same way it's going to be with your DH as well.

I'm so happy for you sweetie!!

[*KittyCat*]

i'm so happy that you are both on board!

Being a father and a dad so so much more than genetics. The baby will be his in every way. Seeing the baby on the ultrasound, watching him be born, holding him for the first time, first teeth, first steps etc. Nothing else will matter.

[ldovey83]

Aimee I am glad that you got to have that heart to heart with DH and that is being so supportive and 100 % for it... I am praying hard that you finally get that baby you have been longing for, and I have no doubt in the back of my mind that you guys will be the happiest family..

[Daisee37]

I used to be worried about that too... I used to worry that DH was saying he was fine, and maybe he THOUGHT he was fine, but that he wouldn't bond with the baby or that he would just feel detached later. But my fears were totally unfounded. Ever since DS was born, you'd never know DH wasn't the father. They have bonded like any other father/son would, and my son ACTS more like DH than I can even believe. I have honestly begun to believe that nurture TOTALLY wins over nature, since our son is exactly like his daddy in every way. Once there's a baby there, the whole process of making that baby becomes something of the past, and we really don't think about it anymore at all (well, at least not until TTC#2).

Now that we're pg with #2, we really didn't think twice about it this time. We used the same donor, and I KNOW DH will be a great dad to this baby, too. I'm glad your DH is on board, and I think you guys will be really happy with your family, however it's created.

[ChristieP]

That is the sweetest thing I've ever heard