[Joliving4Jesus]

I put too much hope into becoming pregnant naturally this cycle, we have two appointments set up this month to have dh get a repeat sa since he hasn't had one in 4 years and for me to get an hsg. I am completely terrified to know where dh's counts stand and I've had an hsg before and they are quite uncomfortable...hoping so much to avoid these things and get a miracle this month like we got with my son naturally just 24 hours away from an RE appointment....well not this time, I took a test today at 12 DPO and it was completely negative...my crazy mind had all these symptoms going on too, from 2 DPO until a day ago all kinds of crazy bloating, nausea, lower tummy cramps, lower back cramps....they all disappeared yesterday so I lost hope that I was pregnant and I was right. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I am dreading the holidays...my sis in law that is nuttier then a fruit cake will be gloating about her pregnancy while I have to sit silent and suffer that it isn't happening for me...I know we've all been here and heard it all before but I think I am seriously becoming depressed

[wishfulgal]

As you know, I can totally relate to how you are feeling I have days where I feel at peace with the whole thing and other days I feel like I seriously cannot take one more day of this (not that I have a choice ). Sometimes I honestly think I should be on something for depression/anxiety about all of this, but I don't want to be taking anything while TTC.
I'm dreading the holidays too . Which is sad b/c I love the Christmas season, but I'm just not looking forward to this year. My own irresponsible SIL is due right around Thanksgiving. And I'm dreading this early Christmas gathering we have next week. I KNOW that some of my relatives are going to ask when we are going to have another one and I am dreading it. And my DH's first post-op SA is on December 20th....I'm so scared it is still going to be really bad, and if it is it will kind of ruin Christmas.

So yeah, I know how you feel and it really stinks . I hope your DH's SA comes back better than you hope and you can have another miracle very soon.

[SarieP]

Ditto to you girls.

Each day is a struggle and some are better then others

[jenisuzy]

I also agree ... I've never really thought about the holidays being tough in the past, now that we are on the 2 1/2yr mark & I have 2 small nephews around I think it will be a little tougher. Although I dont want to "ruin" christmas we dont get to see my inlaws much living so far apart, but I guarantee you, if a comment is made both DH & I are ready to tell them its not that we dont want kids, its that we have tried and tried & its not working They just have no clue ...........

[Jessie0505]

Oh hun! I am so sorry. Its tough..i have had a million hsgs they do stink..but you never konw..sometimes people get preggo the cycle after one..and as for your honeys count..you never know..sometimes God has a funny way of working things! I know it will be tough for the holidays..i too am dreading it..my sister who is incapable of taking care of herself is preggo..and to make matters worse she is due on my birthday Its really not fair..i cant understand why God does what He does..but you know one day when we finally get that bfp..we will appreciate it just that much more! Hang in there sweetie! BIG HUGS!

[sarha81]

I got preggo after my hsg! I had a mc, but maybe you'll be luckier! HUGS. I know how you feel. AF arrived today.

[*Manda*]

Oh girl, Im sorry The holidays can be SO rough! I think I got lucky because now that we have custody of my nephew I have something to look forward too but its still pretty tough. I had a breakdown yesterday(and theyre becoming more and more frequent)
We all have a relative to deal with on christmas time it seems. My niece apparently has NOTHING else in her life to talk about...