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Well its been a tough last couple of months since I found out my sis in law was expecting # 2...she has a son thats almost exactly 1 year younger then my son and she has been known to be quite mentally unstable and quite mentally and sometimes physically abusive towards my brother, so it was very hard hearing about another pregnancy from her since she seemed undeserving. She has been dying to have a girl for years now, she was madly disappointed to find out her first was a boy, she was in a state of depression for days, well I have a strong desire for a girl too but not to her extent, I would be beyond blessed just to become pregnant again and would love a boy as much as a girl but I do have a strong desire for a girl because I was raised around 3 older brothers, no sisters, and I want a close relationship with my daughter as my mother and I have. Well my sis in law went in for her 3D ultrasound today at 16 weeks and found out she is expecting a girl...I couldn't sleep last night wondering what she was having and thought I would break down if it was a girl, but I amazingly stayed strong, congratulated them and have been trying to be happy for them. I keep telling myself God will give me the desires of my heart just like he did them, but in his due timing...I haven't thought about it much today but I thought I'd handle it a lot worse. I will say I am not thrilled that the name she picked for a girl is just letters away from an extremely meaningful girl name that I've had picked out for 5+ years for when I have a girl....she tends to copy me a lot so I am surprised she just didn't take the name all together, all the names in the world and she chooses one so close, hers will be Adalin and when I have a girl someday (we plan to adopt a girl from china either way in the next 8-10 years) her name will be Analyn...so quite close, but what can you do...just trying to keep my spirits high and know my time is coming.....
It can be so hard to see others get the one thing we want sooo much. It would be so much easier to be happy for everyone else when they get pregnant if we could just join in the excitement. I just had to endure my SIL's baby shower. It didn't bother me so much that it was a baby shower (I had my own when my son was born), but there were NINE babies of my friend's there, all born in the last 6 months, and 4 newly pregnant friends. It's not that I begrudge them their blessings.....it's just looking at all of them I think, "If getting pregnant is obviously soooo easy for everyone else, why does it have to be so hard for us?!"
__________________ Joyful Mama to 2 Sweet little boys
Oh hun..im sorry it always hurts when those kind of things happen..i havent forgotten! But like you said in Gods time you will have that perfect little one in your arms..so for now..try (i know easier said then done) to enjoy this little neice of yours until you little girl comes!! HUGS!!
Thank You Jaidynsmum for my awesome perfect siggy!!