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are you SURE you want one of those???


Forum: TTC with Male Infertility

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  #1  
May 30th, 2011, 12:44 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
ok, ladies, so what are your biggest beefs with your friends? what they say to you?...

we go out with our friends who - the husband has a 12 year old daughter (previous marriage) - who hangs out with us a lot when it's his weekend...

well my friend (the step mom) is constantly "you really sure you want one of those?" when the daughter acts up or gets annoying.

um. yes. i do. quit asking.

now my friend doesn't (and can't) have any of her own - she's never really been the "maternal" type at all and never really wanted her own...she's happy with her situation, loves her step-kids, but will never have any of her own.

it's just annoying to constantly hear that "you SURE you want one?" yes. i. do.

ugh.

anyways - what is it you guys get from your friends?
__________________
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TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
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  #2  
June 1st, 2011, 12:54 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 3,699
I can't even list all of the stupid things people have said to me in the last 19 months...but here are a few:

* "I'm so fertile all my husband has to do is look at me and I get pregnant"
(really? B/c I think that's anatomically impossible, not to mention you make me feel like absolute crap with you arrogance and the way you take it for granted.)

"Wow, I really thought you'd have another baby by now." (Um, yeah. Us too.)

"Well, at least you have one child" (Um, you have 5. So don't tell me that it's "okay" that our dreams of having a big family were squashed over a year ago with one terrible semen analysis and we still are no closer to having another child. Oh, and I think I appreciate my child MORE than most people, who take their ability to bear children for granted)

"Oh, I bet if you adopt you will get pregnant right away!" (Yes, we are considering adoption, but it's not our fertility treatment plan).
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  #3  
June 1st, 2011, 07:00 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
i love the whole "you can always adopt". not that we wouldn't LOVE to. but seriously - adoption IS NOT EASY. and EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE!!!

we don't exactly have the $$$ to just go out and adopt. believe me, i wish we did.
__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
Reply With Quote
  #4  
June 5th, 2011, 02:00 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 3,699
I know. Adoption is soooo expensive and that has been the only thing holding us back but I think we are going to take the plunge

I read this somewhere else, but there is no such thing as "just" adopting. ( Which I was guilty of before I got married say, "If I couldn't have kids, I would just adopt").
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  #5  
June 6th, 2011, 06:50 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
Quote:
Originally Posted by wishfulgal View Post
I know. Adoption is soooo expensive and that has been the only thing holding us back but I think we are going to take the plunge

I read this somewhere else, but there is no such thing as "just" adopting. ( Which I was guilty of before I got married say, "If I couldn't have kids, I would just adopt").
hahahaha my best friend says that to me ALL the time! course, she and her husband WOULD have the financial means to "just adopt"....

but even my boss today said the "you know, once you adopt you'll get pregnant". really? not when my husband has fertility issues!

__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
Reply With Quote
  #6  
June 6th, 2011, 07:02 PM
LindseyE117's Avatar Wookie's Girl
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,741
My sister is constantly telling me that I shouldn't have another child. She tells me all the time that she thinks it is "stupid" that we are "wasting" money on MA.

So here it goes:

Do you know how expensive it is to have a baby? (yes I do! I have had 2 and took care of them as a single mom!)

Why would you want another baby? Your husband adopted yours, so it is not like he doesn't have any kids. (mind your own da*n business. I want another child, and we are going to have one)

I just cannot stand children, so I do not understand why you would want more. Two is way too many! (once again, just because you tied your tubes and want no more kids, does not mean that I feel the same)

Now my father:

I am too old for any more grandchildren. Why would you even consider having another one. You know I am sick and might not live to see them grow up. Do you not care about me? (wow.... just wow... way to make me feel guilty for wanting a child with my husband)

I get h*ll from my family all the time for wanting a child. I also get the same as you ladies. You should be happy with what you have, that's god's way of saying that you should have more kids, blah blah blah. At first my blood would boil, but now I ignore them.
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  #7  
June 8th, 2011, 08:09 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
Quote:
Originally Posted by LindseyE117 View Post
My sister is constantly telling me that I shouldn't have another child. She tells me all the time that she thinks it is "stupid" that we are "wasting" money on MA.

So here it goes:

Do you know how expensive it is to have a baby? (yes I do! I have had 2 and took care of them as a single mom!)

Why would you want another baby? Your husband adopted yours, so it is not like he doesn't have any kids. (mind your own da*n business. I want another child, and we are going to have one)

I just cannot stand children, so I do not understand why you would want more. Two is way too many! (once again, just because you tied your tubes and want no more kids, does not mean that I feel the same)

Now my father:

I am too old for any more grandchildren. Why would you even consider having another one. You know I am sick and might not live to see them grow up. Do you not care about me? (wow.... just wow... way to make me feel guilty for wanting a child with my husband)

I get h*ll from my family all the time for wanting a child. I also get the same as you ladies. You should be happy with what you have, that's god's way of saying that you should have more kids, blah blah blah. At first my blood would boil, but now I ignore them.

wow. you have SUCH a supportive family...(please note the sarcasm)
__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
Reply With Quote
  #9  
June 19th, 2011, 07:56 AM
LindseyE117's Avatar Wookie's Girl
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,741
Quote:
Originally Posted by IndyMommyWannabe View Post
wow. you have SUCH a supportive family...(please note the sarcasm)
Yeah I know. My mom would be supportive, but she is really toxic right now to me. She has a severe gambling addiction and has gambled her way to nothing. She didn't care who in her family that she screwed over along the way either. Sad really. My dad can die right now unless he gets a liver transplant, so he hates that I am thinking about a child that he may never see grow up. This I understand, but I tell him to stay positive. My sister always hated kids, and we were surprised that she had any. She loves hers, but she was quick to tie her tubes after her second child. So that's where I stand with my family. Sad really.

As for my husband's family, they just think he is way too old (43 years old), but they support him in anything he does.
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