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Forum: TTC with Male Infertility

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  #1  
June 6th, 2011, 07:01 AM
I'm a mommy in waiting
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What has anyone heard about improving your sperm count if you have none?I keep reading articles that talk about the husband not having anything, then took another test and did after diet changes. Any and all information or stories would be great.
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  #2  
June 6th, 2011, 08:50 AM
BeckyM's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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((Hugs)) I know how hard it is to hear about a zero sperm count. Has your DH had any other testing done? I don't know personally of diets that can help, as they wouldn't have worked in our situation. With us, it was a genetic condition DH was born with and they even did biopsies to look for sperm, but no luck either. Our choice was to use donor sperm, and we are now proud parents of our little boy. If it's a blockage, surgery can hopefully fix it. Good luck, I hope you get some answers soon.
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  #3  
June 6th, 2011, 08:55 AM
I'm a mommy in waiting
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Becky, was it hard to cope with it not biologically being your husbands? That's what I'm scared of. I know I will bond with the baby because I'm carrying, but I worry about him doing so. Hubby said he just wants a family, so I'm thinking he would be okay, but I just didnt know how to mentally prepare for it if that is our option, which I'm okay with. I'm so so glad you were able to get you family. That's really fantastic and if we end up going down the same road you did, is it alright if I talk to you about it?
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  #4  
June 6th, 2011, 11:13 AM
BeckyM's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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You can absolutely talk to me, I don't mind at all.

With us, DH was actually the one to bring it up as an option first (right after the bloodwork showed the genetic problem) so he was completely on board with it right away. We did still take a few months off of TTC to emotionally deal with this. We had been TTC for about 14-15 months at that point. We needed to grieve the fact that we would NEVER have that biological child from the 2 of us, and to make our decision. We also considered adoption, but ended up deciding on donor sperm. With the RE we used, it is mandatory for us to attend a counseling session prior to proceeding. DH & I had already discussed the same points the counselor wanted to go over (telling versus not telling, support network, bonding, etc), but it was nice to hear that we were doing/thinking the right things.

I can tell you honestly, emotionally it is/will be hard, especially for the first time mom here. I loved being pg, don't get me wrong, and I definitely DON'T regret using donor sperm at all, but during the pg I couldn't help but sometimes have these questions pop up in the back of my mind sometimes - what will this baby look like? What if DH doesn't connect/bond with him? What will I say to those all-to-common questions everyone always asks about who does he look like? How do I respond? How will I tell Mark later on? What will I say to everyone? Who do I tell? etc. Those questions (and a 100 more) would sometimes pop up. With DH though, he bonded immediately, even before Mark arrived. DH went with me to most of the doc appts, especially the scans, so he still was a big part of the pg. And once Mark arrived, all the connecting/bonding worries went away. It's obvious to everyone how much DH LOVES our little guy, and I of course fell head over heels in love with him immediately.

I hope I'm explaining this okay, it's hard to put into words sometimes. I believe all pg women have worries & anxiety during their pg so these up & down feelings are normal to have.

I sometimes forget to check in here on this board, so please feel free to PM me to if I can help. Good luck & keep me posted!!!
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  #5  
June 6th, 2011, 07:19 PM
I'm a mommy in waiting
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No that helped so much and all of the questions you asked yourself are the questions I've asked myself already and we arent even to that stage yet. Its scary and its very saddening to know that my husband and I may not have a baby that is 'ours'. Its good to know that other people understand that because so many people who gives us the 'just adopt' option are so oblivious as to how emotional this entire process is. Thank you so so much and I absolutely will PM if I need to, thank you!
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  #6  
June 7th, 2011, 05:50 PM
BeckyM's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm glad to help however I can. I see you're from VA, what part (if you don't mind me asking). I'm in Maryland, a northern neighbor.
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  #7  
June 7th, 2011, 06:42 PM
I'm a mommy in waiting
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I'm in Richmond.
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  #8  
June 13th, 2011, 11:29 AM
BeckyM's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Richmond isn't that far.

Just wanted to check on you, has your DH had a second opinion yet or are they having him wait before doing another sample? The waiting was the hardest part for me. ((hugs))
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  #9  
June 14th, 2011, 07:23 AM
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Just wanted to ask...is your husband on any narcotics? My dh was on methadone from a motorcycle accident and it made his sperm counts go way down. Not until he'd been off of it for 3 months did we conceive.
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  #10  
June 17th, 2011, 10:28 AM
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My husband has a chromosomal abnormality that causes him to have 0 sperm. We're told we could try the biopsies and stuff to look for sperm and we did consider it but it wasn't guaranteed.

My husband was the first one who brought up using a donor. He said that it wouldn't matter to him because it would still be his child.

We have two beautiful girls and neither of them are biologically his and it isn't hard for him at all. His world revolves around his daughters.

The honest truth is that it hurts me and doesn't bother him at all. I wish we could have a baby that is a part of both of us and not just me but this is the card we were dealt.
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  #11  
June 18th, 2011, 09:35 PM
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Becky, we haven't gone yet to get a second opinion. He had some weird thing with his insurance where it got changed and his job forgot to send out the cards. We just did get the cards so we have to wait for a day when he's guaranteed off so he can go to his Primary Care Physician for a referral to a Urologist.

Luv, he's not on any kind of narcotics. He is a smoker, so we'll see what the doctor says about that. I'm sure that will be a fun conversation lol

Heather, that is my fear too. I know that the option of a donor is out there and I hope my husband could cope, and I think he could, but I really am in that mind set of wanting it to be ours so I can see us as the baby grows. I know that's not the biggest picture, and that having our family is, but I completely understand how you feel.
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  #12  
June 20th, 2011, 06:04 AM
BeckyM's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I hope you can get in soon, so you can have some answers.

Heather - You know that I completely understand what you're going through, especially those feelings, and it does hurt, even now. But it is what it is, these are the cards we are dealt with and in both our cases, there's nothing we can do to change it for our DH's. Our precious children do make it better though, and seeing our DH's with them is amazing.
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  #13  
July 28th, 2011, 12:44 PM
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Hello! This is my first time on this message board. Reading your posts has helped me see that there are others out there who have similar stories and concerns as me. My husband and I have just found out that he has a genetic condition resulting in zero sperm (Y chromosome microdeletion). I really wanted to have a biological child with my husband, but now it seems that donor sperm might be the best choice for us. Reading your messages helps me see how happy you and your husband are with your choice of using donor sperm. I can't say I'm ready to make the decision yet as I'm still grieving the fact that I won't be able to have a biological child with my husband. I do look forward to the day when I am ready to take the next step.
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  #14  
July 29th, 2011, 07:42 AM
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Best wishes to you ikpeace, I joined this message board recently and the comfort from reading the other posts as been a tremendous help in dealing with the issue my DH and I are having - I'm glad you've come across this board and again, just wish you and your DH the best !!!
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  #15  
July 30th, 2011, 04:07 AM
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ikpeace, take your time grieving. I believe that is essential to do. We took several months off. Good luck!!
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  #16  
August 1st, 2011, 09:03 PM
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Thank you Scottiegrl and Becky for your comments. It has been a tough week for me (lots of crying), but I know it's part of the process and I have to get it all out. I can relate to Heather who said that she is more hurt than her husband. I am in the same situation. My husband seems to have accepted things much quicker than me, and would be ready to move on. I, however, am still sad and don't want to give up trying to have a biological child, but I'm pretty sure I have to. We will be going to genetic counselling next, but as far as I know, if we were to try TESE with IVF/ICSI, we would pass the condition on to any male children. We definitely don't want that so that is why donor sperm seems to be our best option. My husband is all for it. I just hope that I'm strong enough to go through with it in the future.
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  #17  
August 2nd, 2011, 05:21 AM
BeckyM's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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ikpeace, ((((Hugs))))) I understand those tears. I shed quite a few of them, and just felt so numb in disbelief. The day we got the news of the genetic condition was the day they did the biopsy where they went in looking for spermies, and after I took DH home I went back and waited for his prescription and just sat in the waiting area with tears streaming down my face. Everyone was staring at me, and I barely noticed them at all. I vaguely remember a few staff trying to ask what was wrong, and I couldn't even respond to them. I just couldn't believe the news, and never imagined that I and DH would be in that situation, and this was even before we got the final news that the biopsy showed no spermies either. It was such a shock. My husband too seemed to accept our situation quicker then I did. Take all the time you need, this is a difficult decision, and is a grieving process. Hang in there sweetie!!
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Last edited by BeckyM; August 2nd, 2011 at 05:25 AM.
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  #18  
August 8th, 2011, 11:07 AM
I'm a mommy in waiting
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I'm with you ladies. My husband seems a lot more at ease with things than I am. I want his baby, you know? Not that any baby I carry wont be HIS, but still. We are still waiting to have time to make that appointment for him to check to see if he's blocked or if there really is just nothing. I'm already panicked at the thought of them trying to put me on Clomid because I really don't want to be put on anything that's gonna cause my hormones to go nuts because they're bad enough as it is. I've heard awful stories about Clomid and it scares me.
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  #19  
August 9th, 2011, 08:28 AM
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Men just must accept things more readily in general than women because my husband seems 'okay' with our situation too. The doc just upped his hormone meds to the highest level and he mentioned surgery but we're not sure it's worth it at this point. Perhaps if there was some sign of spermies we'd be more inclined w / surgery - it's devastating to think your child might not share genetics w / the man in your life BUT I have to say , my DH grew up w/ step father who he not only resembles but has inherited many of his traits- that tells me , the environment your child grows up in is just as influential as actual DNA. Here's to keeping our heads held high and our hopes even higher. Even though I don't know any of you personally I know we all share the drive to be the best parents we can and I know it will happen for us all one way or another.

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  #20  
August 9th, 2011, 01:54 PM
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LOVE the pics Becky
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