[jessicat375]

I met with me re today and she said to start going through donors and pick one. I dont even know where to start. She suggested 3 and said i can pick any bank i wanted. I dont even know how to pick a donor.I know some say they have pictures but do i have to pay before seeing them? Im really lost. And if im not doing iuis until 6 more months or so can i start purchasing the vials now ahead of time? Please share your stories about donors so i know where to go from here !!! Also my re is suggesting 2 vials per cycle. 2 days in a row. Im thinking that will get costly and why do 2 if the 1st one may work? And she also is saying to buy 4-6 at a time. BUT i said what if i buy 6 and the 2nd cycle works. Then what??

And do sperm banks offer gender selection?

[BeckyM]

((( Hugs ))) I know it is overwhelming.

I'll try to break down your questions for easier answering again.

Originally Posted by jessicat375

I met with me re today and she said to start going through donors and pick one. I dont even know where to start. She suggested 3 and said i can pick any bank i wanted. I dont even know how to pick a donor. Im really lost. Please share your stories about donors so i know where to go from here !!!

With selecting, it was probably easier for me & DH, since there was a very limited number of donors with the specific ethnicity we wanted. I can't imagine how we would have chosen without that to narrow down the field. If you would like, I can ask for suggestions on the other board I participate in on how the SMBC (single mother by choice) chose their donors. I know for many of us who have partners (whether they are DH/SO or same-sex relationships), most have tried to choose donors who resembled the partner or had a ethnicity.

Originally Posted by jessicat375

I know some say they have pictures but do i have to pay before seeing them?

I know some offer baby pictures of the donor, and a few offer pictures of the donor at various ages. I believe there was always a charge for it (from the banks I looked at). We didn't bother with this ourselves. Most of the banks will also take a picture you send in and compare against donors to try to find the match that most resembles it. This is free at some banks, others charge for this too.

Originally Posted by jessicat375

And if im not doing iuis until 6 more months or so can i start purchasing the vials now ahead of time?

The problem with purchasing ahead of time is storage. The vials must be kept frozen. Would your RE store them? And there's usually a cost to that as well. The bank sometimes offer storage as well, again usually at a cost. Best bet is to check with the various banks you are considering.

Originally Posted by jessicat375

Also my re is suggesting 2 vials per cycle. 2 days in a row. Im thinking that will get costly and why do 2 if the 1st one may work?

My RE also wanted 2 vials each cycle and the IUIs were back to back on 2 consecutive days. His explanation was that frozen sperm doesn't always have as good of numbers as fresh so they like to double the odds.

Originally Posted by jessicat375

And she also is saying to buy 4-6 at a time. BUT i said what if i buy 6 and the 2nd cycle works. Then what??

Some banks offer discounts for bulk purchases, and offer various storage and shipping options for them. You don't have to receive them all at one time. It's a gamble either way. We ended up needing 4 vials, we did 2 cycles. Other ladies have gotten pg the 1st cycle, and others have taken more cycles. If you end up pg with leftover vials you have purchased, you can sometimes sell back to the bank for a reduced price of what you paid for them. you can keep and store them for a future sibling. i'm sure they are other options too. DH & I only purchased the 2 each cycle so I don't have any advice on what to do.

Originally Posted by jessicat375

And do sperm banks offer gender selection?

I "think" some are starting to, but I"m not sure how that works exactly. Or how accurate it is. I honestly didn't care, we just wanted a LO. The donor we used, surprisingly has a lot more boys then girls produced. and the RE also told me that statistically he sees more boys then girls with IUIs since they try to time the insemination as close as possible to ovulation (I used a trigger shot to ovulate) and that boy sperm swim faster and would reach the egg quicker. But I have also seen/heard of a lot of girls from IUIs too, so who really knows.

I hope this answers some of the questions. I know it's overwhelming. Hang in there!!

[kayakr]

Beckym - your post was very helpful. Thank you.

My DH has abnormal morpholgy and we might be in the same boat.
It's nice to hear that it worked for you...

[jessicat375]

It was very very helpful. Im just not there yet. All so much to handle.

[BeckyM]

Take all the time you need, Jessica. It's a lot to handle, a lot of info to take in, and definitely does not need to be rushed. Good luck!!!

kayakr - I'm glad the post is helpful to you. Good luck to you & your DH!

[Scottiegrl]

I hope it works out Jessica ! Best wishes to you!

I think my DH and I are going to be going the donor route, I'm wondering from the ladies w/ experience doing donor , from the initial meeting w/ a doctor to the procedure, what was the time line? A few months , more?

The RE has increased the maximum dosage of the medicine my husband is on ( Hormone Replacement Therapy drugs ) but we have decided that donor might be our best option. All the posts have been helpful in prepping what we very well will encounter.

THANK YOU!

[BeckyM]

It was a few months for us. First of all we took a few months off TTC after getting the diagnosis on DH that there were no spermies before we proceeded, that was in March. Our 1st cycle was July, 2nd one in August and we got our BFP in August. When we decided to proceed using donor sperm, we just had to choose the bank, donor, get all required signatures, and see the counselor (required by the RE). I had already had all the bloodwork & testing done on me before we had DH's diagnosis. Then it was just a matter of waiting for my cycle to end so we could begin. Once you have everything lined up, it goes fast.

[Scottiegrl]

Sounds like a pretty straight forward process which I was hoping to hear , I know it could be different for us but I guess we'll find out what the Dr says Aug 15 th! Both my DH and I are so excited to go forward with this! Thanks you Becky for sharing your story !!

P.S. um does the ACTUAL procedure hurt ?

[BeckyM]

You're welcome. I don't mind sharing and hope that I can support others having to go through it too. I felt so alone in real life, and it helped me tremendously to have a support group online of others going through similar situations.

Are you referring to the IUI procedure itself? I wouldn't say that it hurt, definitely nothing like some of the testing (like the dye through the tubes), and not as uncomfy as the annual PAP smear. When they did the IUI, my cervix was open. They used a catheter to insert the sperm into my uterus. One of the doctors who did the procedure when too far during one of the IUIs, and the catheter touched the uterus wall and caused me to cramp but it wasn't as bad as AF cramps. Afterwards (and this is done very quickly, it took longer to sign the consent form then the actual procedure) I had to lie on the table for 10 minutes and then could leave and do normal activities the rest of the day. I had some on & off cramping that day, but I don't consider it painful at all.