[beck12]

I would love a board for mulitple loss. I know it would be slower. It is just that there are certain issues that comes along with multiple losses that are very unique - such as feelings that perhaps you will never have your own children ... or just trying to deal with the same hurt over & over. I would also ask that it be a protected board like some others here where you have to be granted access by request to an admin. I know that I am not the only woman at JM dealing with this issue - as I have met others through the pg loss board. I am thankful to have that board & will probably always be a member - even if one day I am lucky enough to make it through an entire pg. It is just that at times, I feel that I don't want to post everything I feel about my multiple losses there (on my bad days) because I also don't want to get women who are currently hurting already worried that they are headed down my path as well. I also think there are certainly issues that only women that have been there can undertsnd - some of the ugier parts of trying to find your way through. I would hope you would consider my request.

Thank you!

[justjaQ]

beck, i for one, think this is a fantastic idea. i've had just one loss myself, but i totally agree how different it is when it happens more than once. i hope they'll consider it!

also wanted to tell you that your post about lurkers a month or two ago really inspired me. now, i try to always type a response when i read a post. hugs.

[Nykoal]

I would really appreciate a board like this. There are unique feelings and emotions that come after multiple losses that are a little different from having just one loss (not that I'm saying that one is worse than other...please don't misunderstand since I wish nobody ever had to endure the horrible expereince of losing a baby).

I know I have a fear of never being able to carry to full term and I don't want to leave people with the same fear, but at the same time I would love a place to freely express my thoughts and feelings.

I agree it it might be a slow board but I think it would be valued and appreciated.

[wewantaminime]

I think it's an excellent suggestion Beck! It would be a perfect way to get those with recurrent losses get perspective on what to do going forward. Not to mention sharing our feelings and how hopeless we sometimes feel. I'm not saying we can't do that with those of one loss, I just don't want to terrify them with my multiple m/c, I mean who knows how many I will go on to have. But I do have to mention that I will not forget about those that are new to m/c. I will still visit the other boards.

[beck12]

I want to thank JaQ - I appreciate that the post touched someone. I wasn't trying to inflame anything - simply to offer some perspective.

I also agree with Nykoal & wewantaminime that I would post things that relate to multiple losses at the other board but would remain a member of PL as well - as I certainly know how much support you need during that time & wouldn't leave that board. I just want a place to be a little more open about certain aspects of repeat loss without it being scary to those with first loss. I remember when I was first at the board & people would say don't loose hope & site some story about someone that had 5 mc's an ectopic, etc & went on to have a healthy baby & at that time I saw it as incredibly scary & frightening that you could go on to have all of that & instead of inspiring hope, it scared me half to death. I do see the hope in those stories now, but that is because I understand my odds. I just know there are days where I want to write about all that I feel & since I know there are those there that are undergoing a mc or very recent, I hold back at times since I feel like I have had some time..and space to vent & want to allow that for them as well. And the last thing I want my story to do is worry somone else about their future.

I also think we could have a sticky abotu the kinds of tests that are often done, what those tests may be able to tell you, what you may want to ask your Dr. about, etc.

[lizard]

While I sort of feel like the odd man out (since I have a child) I also think that this would be a good idea. I would sometimes like to deal with the fear of getting p/g again because you know that you may have a better chance than most to m/c, but you don't want to scare those who have had one m/c into thinking that they are definitely going to have more. I see the p/g loss board as a place people can go for hope and reassurance that they will be able to make it through their difficult time. However, there are things that are difficult to discuss there as it is much different to be dealing with one loss than with multiple losses.

I also agree that a sticky on this board about tests is a good idea. I am at a place where I need to know what is available to me and what others have been through to see if it is a route that I want to take.

While I would never leave the p/g loss board, I think a new board would be very helpful to quite a few of our members. I also agree that it should be a protected forum.

[tang17]

I am totally in for that........I personally have had 3 miscarriages and it would be nice to have soomewhere to go and chat I know we have Pregnacy loss but this one would be great....Thanks Beckie for the idea...it is a great one! And I am in....

[Admin-pattyandthemoos]

I have had three miscarriages so I know that it is a little different for you when you have had more than one loss. I think this is a good idea.

[jennyn]

3 seems to be a popular number- i've had three as well. sounds like a great idea

[sarah*]

Ive had two and i think its a great idea x

[srs]

I just had my second, and I would love it as well. I think I'm actually coping with some of the loss issues a bit better this time around, but the things that are worse are entirely because it's a second loss.

As for the slower board thing - I can personally say that while all I did after the first one was lurk (and I only stopped that because of that same post you wrote, Beck), this time I have not been able to shut up!

[beck12]

I just had my second, and I would love it as well. I think I'm actually coping with some of the loss issues a bit better this time around, but the things that are worse are entirely because it's a second loss.

As for the slower board thing - I can personally say that while all I did after the first one was lurk (and I only stopped that because of that same post you wrote, Beck), this time I have not been able to shut up! [/b]

I am glad you can't shut up .....it helps us all as we recognize ourselves in others & see their pain as like ours as well. I felt very mixed things about posting that - and I am sure not everyone was happy with me - but it was sincerely something I felt - so I put it out there. I am glad if it helped push you at all to share & hope that it didn't come across in any way to push those that are hurting away.

[Rina42308]

Sometimes or rather most of the time I feel like a freak for having had 4 losses and no children. People in my IRL, even my mother, has said things to me like "I don't know why you have so many problems in having a baby"....as if it's something I can help. I was like "yeah mom I don';t know why either because if I did I would stop the problem!"...it's statements like these, the looks you get when someone doesn't know what to say or better yet when the topic of pg comes up and everyone gets all weird because they know you're the one who hasn't had kids, not for lack of trying......this all makes me feel alone in my freak universe...I feel like I am the only person on the planet with these issues sometimes, even though I logically know I'm not. i think a multiple loss board would be great because it would allow for these kinds of subjects to be shared, as well as to get feedback from other women who have experienced the same thing thus making it feel a bit less of a solitary experience.
Thanks for the suggestion Beck, I hope the moderators make this happen for us.

[auntmeme]

I think that a multiple loss board is great idea!!! I agree w/the other ladies that have posted that there are different emotions that one goes thru, forever, whether pg again or not, that some just don't understand or we don't feel like sharing in fear of scaring/hurting others.

[jessjillmama]

I think its a great idea!! I myself have had 2 now.

[Astrid]

I think it is a wonderful idea! If anything, it should be at least considered as a subforum in the Pregnancy Loss board. I know that 1 is difficult enough to deal w/ but 2 or more, at this moment in time, I cannot imagine. My heart breaks for any woman that loses a baby. Again, wonderful suggestion!!!!!

[Blue Eyes 409]

I think that is a wonderful idea. I have only had one M/C and dealing with it was hard but I think to have lost more than one that you would have to do it to know how bad it feels. My heart breaks for all of you.

[Admin-pattyandthemoos]

I added it here.


Recurrent Miscarriage & Pregnancy Loss