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  #1  
July 7th, 2006, 08:56 PM
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I was thinking that there should be a board for women struggling with regret/loss/pain/concerns after having an abortion.. The pregnancy loss boards have worked well for me, as I have m/c'd twice besides having the abortion, but I think it may be a good idea for women who are grieving an aborted baby to have more specialized support... Maybe it should be private, too, so no one will be getting in because they want to criticize women who have aborted (like if they are pro-life)?

What does everyone think?
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  #2  
July 7th, 2006, 11:27 PM
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Quote:
I was thinking that there should be a board for women struggling with regret/loss/pain/concerns after having an abortion.. The pregnancy loss boards have worked well for me, as I have m/c'd twice besides having the abortion, but I think it may be a good idea for women who are grieving an aborted baby to have more specialized support... Maybe it should be private, too, so no one will be getting in because they want to criticize women who have aborted (like if they are pro-life)?

What does everyone think?[/b]
Even though I have never lost a pregnancy for any reason, I would whole-heartedly support a board of this type.

~Nay
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  #3  
July 7th, 2006, 11:33 PM
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I, even against abortion personally (a woman does have the right to choose and I don't feel it should be illegal based on my own beliefs and opinions), agree this would be an excellent idea. For whatever reason a woman needs to have an abortion, they need support too. A lot of time, it is medical reasons, family pressure, etc. People think that anyone who has an abortion chooses this and they are fine with it. I also agree that making it private would be a good idea, as there is already a debate board for abortion but if someone against abortion should see that a woman is contemplating having one, they might come in and sway her on her decision.

Excellent idea!
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  #4  
July 10th, 2006, 08:37 AM
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even being a pro-lifer, I agree this would be a great board, and I must admit that I would probably be a lurker
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  #5  
July 10th, 2006, 08:25 PM
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this would be a great board
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  #6  
July 11th, 2006, 08:27 AM
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Quote:
even being a pro-lifer, I agree this would be a great board, and I must admit that I would probably be a lurker[/b]
This is one of the concerns for adding this board. I do not want to see prolife lurkers on a board with this topic. This is a sensitive topic and I think most members who have had an abortion would not want a prolifer posting/lurking on the board. I think it would be difficult even if it were private to keep members safe. We have added the abusive relationships board and I can not say for sure that there are not members with access to it that shouldn't have access. We have no way to know what people's stance on the subject is when they join. As it is we have problems with other controversial support boards having members with opposing views posting on their board. I am not sure that we can keep members from lurking there that don't belong.

I am willing to put the board up anyway. But I will be completely honest, I am very nervous about adding it. I will be willing to give it a shot if this is what everyone wants but I am concerned that a member may post there for support and then receive unwanted posts, pms or harrassing emails. I have already seen this happen on other boards with controversial subjects and am nervous about adding this board because of that.
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  #7  
July 11th, 2006, 04:52 PM
mrobinson
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Quote:
Quote:
even being a pro-lifer, I agree this would be a great board, and I must admit that I would probably be a lurker[/b]
This is one of the concerns for adding this board. I do not want to see prolife lurkers on a board with this topic. This is a sensitive topic and I think most members who have had an abortion would not want a prolifer posting/lurking on the board. I think it would be difficult even if it were private to keep members safe. We have added the abusive relationships board and I can not say for sure that there are not members with access to it that shouldn't have access. We have no way to know what people's stance on the subject is when they join. As it is we have problems with other controversial support boards having members with opposing views posting on their board. I am not sure that we can keep members from lurking there that don't belong.

I am willing to put the board up anyway. But I will be completely honest, I am very nervous about adding it. I will be willing to give it a shot if this is what everyone wants but I am concerned that a member may post there for support and then receive unwanted posts, pms or harrassing emails. I have already seen this happen on other boards with controversial subjects and am nervous about adding this board because of that.
[/b]


Thank you Patty.

I know it might not feel right but I think if it helps even one person it will be worth it.

I'm really happy about this.. I can't thank you enough.
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  #8  
July 11th, 2006, 05:03 PM
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Thank you so much for even considering this, Patty.. It means a lot to me, and if it does appear sometime soon, I would willingly volunteer to do everything I can to keep the board as safe as possible..

Again, thank you so much..
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  #9  
July 11th, 2006, 06:31 PM
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i think its a wonderful idea and i would most definitly post there, i understand completely why you would be nervous about adding it patty, but personally with everyone on jm i have come in contact with, even on the debate boards, everyone is so nice and kind, no matter their opinions, i also agree it should be private..
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  #10  
July 11th, 2006, 10:20 PM
justjaQ's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
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"nervous" was the word first feeling that came to my mind when i read this, too patty. i'm pro-choice as can be, and i agree that women really need a place for support, in whatever we do. having been through other stressful things in my life with a lack of understanding and support, i can imagine how women who have had or are considering abortions, would feel. it would HAVE to be protected, though, it's just too sensitive a topic... great that you're considering this!!
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  #11  
July 12th, 2006, 05:19 PM
dkmommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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is there a way it could be protected and to be able to get access to it you would have to fill out like a privacy statement or questionnaire or something. stating if the person causes any problems while a part of that board they are subject to be banned from JM?
just thinking out loud
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  #12  
July 12th, 2006, 10:41 PM
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I think adding that board would be a greta idea also
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  #13  
July 13th, 2006, 09:37 AM
Astrid's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Patty ~ I def agree that this should be a board & a closed board where you have to apply to get in such as the Love & Sex board. I had a member not too long ago come into Pregnancy Loss & was dealing w/ the decision of having an abortion due to medical & financial reasons. She was harshly welcomed by the members there but then I can understand their point of view w/ wanting a child so badly. I continued to support her via PM & she is doing ok right now BUT I think she would have appreciated very much a place to go where she could talk to others about her situation.

Please create a protected board for these ladies. Many are mothers & some are not BUT all need support as a loss of a baby under these circumstances comes w/ its own issues & emotions.
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  #14  
July 14th, 2006, 07:05 AM
yahtzeecat1981's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Quote:
even being a pro-lifer, I agree this would be a great board, and I must admit that I would probably be a lurker[/b]
This is one of the concerns for adding this board. I do not want to see prolife lurkers on a board with this topic. This is a sensitive topic and I think most members who have had an abortion would not want a prolifer posting/lurking on the board. I think it would be difficult even if it were private to keep members safe. We have added the abusive relationships board and I can not say for sure that there are not members with access to it that shouldn't have access. We have no way to know what people's stance on the subject is when they join. As it is we have problems with other controversial support boards having members with opposing views posting on their board. I am not sure that we can keep members from lurking there that don't belong.

I am willing to put the board up anyway. But I will be completely honest, I am very nervous about adding it. I will be willing to give it a shot if this is what everyone wants but I am concerned that a member may post there for support and then receive unwanted posts, pms or harrassing emails. I have already seen this happen on other boards with controversial subjects and am nervous about adding this board because of that.
[/b]

I would never go on to the board to judge or condem anybody. Justmommies is such great site and the women here are such phenomenal ladies, I just enjoy reading about people and their situations, no matter if I agree with decisions or not
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  #15  
July 14th, 2006, 04:54 PM
mrobinson
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Patty ~ I def agree that this should be a board & a closed board where you have to apply to get in such as the Love & Sex board. I had a member not too long ago come into Pregnancy Loss & was dealing w/ the decision of having an abortion due to medical & financial reasons. She was harshly welcomed by the members there but then I can understand their point of view w/ wanting a child so badly. I continued to support her via PM & she is doing ok right now BUT I think she would have appreciated very much a place to go where she could talk to others about her situation.

Please create a protected board for these ladies. Many are mothers & some are not BUT all need support as a loss of a baby under these circumstances comes w/ its own issues & emotions.[/b]
I've been dealing with some similar situations and wholeheartly agree.
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  #16  
July 16th, 2006, 05:51 PM
Heather1628's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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is there a way it could be protected and to be able to get access to it you would have to fill out like a privacy statement or questionnaire or something. stating if the person causes any problems while a part of that board they are subject to be banned from JM?
just thinking out loud [/b]
Thats a really good idea
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  #17  
July 19th, 2006, 10:58 PM
chlodoll
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i think this board is a great idea but i do understand your hesitation towards it
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  #18  
July 20th, 2006, 05:24 AM
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Quote:
is there a way it could be protected and to be able to get access to it you would have to fill out like a privacy statement or questionnaire or something. stating if the person causes any problems while a part of that board they are subject to be banned from JM?
just thinking out loud [/b]
This is a really good idea! I wholeheartedly support the idea of creating this forum...I also wanted to put it out there that I have been pretty open about the fact that I have had an abortion and talked about PASS on the debate boards and never encountered a problem b/c of it. Even passionate pro-lifers have been kind to me and told me that they felt for my loss...I understand your reservations but I think that this board would be an awesome addition to JM!
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  #20  
July 20th, 2006, 07:27 AM
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I agree this is a wonderful idea. I think that women who have abortions need a place to go for support, but the pregnancy loss boards are NOT the right place to go about it. (I was there, Astrid, and I was highly upset and hurt by the situation that I think you are referring to.)

I like the idea of making it a closed board too.
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