[AndreaRenee]

Sometimes I raise my voice at Adam and the guilt is starting to weigh heavily on my mind, especially because when he's mad, he's now yelling and I feel responsible. Today he was being such a booger, fighting nap so hard and it angered me. He got up at 6am (almost 2 hours early) so I really needed him to nap, I Needed the break if you will. I got so angry... What is wrong with me?

I know this is a trying time with a new baby and all but honestly Noah is a breeze. Adam is my high maintenence one, non stop talker/whiner/complainer/tantrum thrower. But that doesn't make it okay for me to raise my voice, he's so smart, he's totally copying me

Anyone have tips on how to maintain my composure when he's being these ways? I feel so guilty like I'm doing some major damage how can I remain calm when he's yelling in my face "no! I don't want to (insert anything) get away from me!" and then I leave him and he cries for me to come back! I've offered him to talk to me and tell me what's wrong, I've offered hugs, I've done timeouts.... I feel the need to walk away but when he's screaming "mommy come back", my hear breaks, he's like all over the map! It's so frustrating and my patience is so thin... Help!

[~Andrea~]

Mommy guilt can drive us crazy, can't it.

I am going through something similar in that Lily just gets so emotional about things. She will kick and scream and throw herself on the ground, typically at nap time and bed time. She is SOOOOO tired, but won't sleep.

I really don't have an answer. I am still trying to figure it out myself. Right now, I have tried to work on counting. When she is upset, I whisper. I figure she will calm down more to listen to what I am saying. I will tell her that I am going to leave her room and I will come back when she calms down. I will stand outside her door and go back in every minute or so to check on her and remind her that I will come back and talk to her when she is calm.

If I come up with any other ideas, I will be sure to let you know! It is all trial and error for us right now.

[AutumnLove]

I think its possible he is copying you, but I also think its the behavior of a two year old. Don't panic! You haven't done any damage to him. You have time to change, and learn, and teach him with more patience. It isn't an easy job being a mother of two, and it isn't an easy job being a toddler and fighting for independence, and free will. I have learned that there are phases where we both feel out of control. I feel like she is getting awful, and that I am doing things all wrong, and then next thing you know we are hitting a calm streak where I realize she is just a growing strong spirit. This too shall pass...

[MaineBean]

I doubt you're doing any damage. James is generally a pretty sweet kid, but he certainly has his moments when he lashes out and is a real so-and-so. I have a hard time not laughing at him when he exerts such toddler angst and rage!

We certainly have our moments of yelling, but if he's being a real pip, we have no problem walking away, ignoring, giving a time out, or telling him he needs to take some alone time in his room. We do not give in to "I want Mommy!" and stuff like that when he's being punished. I mean, if he's had the right amount of time in "punishment" and he seems sorry, we'll go get him, but "I want Mommy!" can often lead to "[screeeeeeeeeeeech!]" 2 seconds later- which means he is manipulating and trying to get his way, which is out of time out.

I've been trying to teach him about being nice and having good manners. If he's freaking out, I'll try to get on his level, use a soft voice and tell him he has to use his nice words to ask and even then he doesn't always get his way. If he continues to lash out, he gets time alone. Sometimes we don't do a time out, but rather calmly bring him upstairs and put him in his crib with lots of books and his animals and tell him he can come out when he wants, but he needs to just calm down. (This doesn't always work.) When he's yelling at us, we tell him we don't answer to that kind of behavior and it isn't nice. Then we ignore his request/ repeat the message. Eventually he usually comes around and asks nicely, at which point we interact.

But yeah, sometimes we yell. It's normal to be frustrated with it all sometimes. I wouldn't feel too bad if I were you! Just keeping trying!!!!

[jtcpb12]

Originally Posted by AutumnLove

I think its possible he is copying you, but I also think its the behavior of a two year old. Don't panic! You haven't done any damage to him. You have time to change, and learn, and teach him with more patience. It isn't an easy job being a mother of two, and it isn't an easy job being a toddler and fighting for independence, and free will. I have learned that there are phases where we both feel out of control. I feel like she is getting awful, and that I am doing things all wrong, and then next thing you know we are hitting a calm streak where I realize she is just a growing strong spirit. This too shall pass...

ditto ...miss you

[lynnicka]

Andrea I am with you every day. I post about it a few weeks ago. I dont have advice if I did I wouldn't have yelled at Ethan getting into te car this morning. I feel so much guilt and anger toward Ethan. He is such a tyrant right now. But it will pass. Hugs.