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Would you do this? Is it "name stealing"?


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  #1  
September 24th, 2007, 12:44 PM
Acadia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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OK, here's the scenario (with made-up names, of course).

Grace and Annette go to school together. They're pretty good friends. Grace gets married and becomes pregnant. Her daughter is named Mathilde Lynn, which Annette liked and approved of.

Annette moves away and they lose contact. They email once or twice during the next couple of years but that's it. Annette doesn't know Mathilde at all because she was only around the first few months of her life.

Annette gets pregnant and compiles a name list. A lot of Grace's favorite names are on it (apparently they have similar taste). She even considers naming her baby Mathilde Grace or Grace Mathilde. The children will never really know one another ... they might meet once or twice at their mothers' reunion parties but never be friends. Annette and Grace no longer have the same circle of friends either.

Is it okay for Annette to name her baby Mathilde Grace (or Grace Mathilde, either way)? Is this "name stealing"? Mathilde is an uncommon name; does this make it more or less acceptable? Would you feel awkward if an old friend of yours named her baby in the same way (your daughter's name plus your name)? Would you assume Annette was trying to be mean in some way? That she is a copycat and envies Grace? Or would you think she just really likes the names?

Some people I happen to know got very upset over a situation like this and I was wondering what your takes on it would be!
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  #2  
September 24th, 2007, 01:36 PM
Kimber77's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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In that situation I would not consider it "name stealing" but I have had something similar happen. When we first started talking about ttc we said we really liked the name Emma and Lou as a middle name as its dh's mothers mn. Well his cousin gets pg with a girl and comes time for her to be born and guess what? She decides to name her Emma Lucille (Lucille after her Gma) and now calls her Emma Lu all the time. I was very irritated by this. With close family I think its only right to not take someones name that has said they plan to use it.
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  #3  
September 24th, 2007, 01:37 PM
Kimber77's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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In that situation I would not consider it "name stealing" but I have had something similar happen. When we first started talking about ttc we said we really liked the name Emma and Lou as a middle name as its dh's mothers mn. Well his cousin gets pg with a girl and comes time for her to be born and guess what? She decides to name her Emma Lucille (Lucille after her Gma) and now calls her Emma Lu all the time. I was very irritated by this. With close family I think its only right to not take someones name that has said they plan to use it.
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  #4  
September 24th, 2007, 01:42 PM
Miracle's Avatar ♥ Melissa ♥
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I think that your friend should be flattered you chose her name plus her daughters. If you guys never even see each other, I don't think it even matters what she thinks anyways.
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  #5  
September 24th, 2007, 01:53 PM
Acadia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
I think that your friend should be flattered you chose her name plus her daughters. If you guys never even see each other, I don't think it even matters what she thinks anyways.[/b]
I'm still "Grace's" friend and she found out through the grapevine that "Annette" has "Mathilde Grace" under consideration. She's not too happy about it ... I agree more with you; if anything it's a compliment that Annette still likes the name so much, and I don't see the huge deal. A little weird, but not a huge deal to me.
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  #6  
September 24th, 2007, 02:06 PM
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I can understand why Grace wouldn't be too thrilled by this. I think I'd find it a little irritating too. However, I'd also be able to see how it would be flattering. I personally think Annette should keep it Grace Mathilde or maybe Matilda Grace or Grace Matilda. With Grace Mathilde, at least the girls wont have the SAME first name. With Matilda, it would be very similar, yes... but a different form. I think that would be a good idea too.

I just don't think it should be exactly the same, ya know?

I dunno... I guess I just understand where Grace is coming from. I'd be a little miffed if a family member or an old friend "stole" Seamus' name (or a name we plan to use for a future child like Finn or Rhiannon). That's just my opinion though. :-/
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  #7  
September 24th, 2007, 02:08 PM
Miracle's Avatar ♥ Melissa ♥
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I sent you a PM Lauren!
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  #8  
September 24th, 2007, 05:24 PM
Melanie.'s Avatar Totalimmortal
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You really need to pm me the real names.

Yeah, I'd be upset. Picking a name for your baby is very hard (As I am now learning!!! ) and I wouldn't. I'd pick a similar sound, style, or a variant. Why is Annette a meanie pants baby name stealer?

Is this something you're considering to do and you want to be given support to help your guilty conscience?!?!
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  #9  
September 24th, 2007, 05:46 PM
Acadia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
You really need to pm me the real names.

Yeah, I'd be upset. Picking a name for your baby is very hard (As I am now learning!!! ) and I wouldn't. I'd pick a similar sound, style, or a variant. Why is Annette a meanie pants baby name stealer?

Is this something you're considering to do and you want to be given support to help your guilty conscience?!?! [/b]
Yes it is hard! I don't know why she's pretty set on Mathilde Grace ... she says she just loves Mathilde and likes Grace with it. I can't get inside her head so no idea if that's actually the case or she's TRYING to be a meanie pants baby name stealer!

I originally didn't realize Mathilde was Grace's baby's name. I knew she'd HAD a baby but not the specifics. Then I mentioned that Annette was considering it, and I got lots of comments on how mean that is. I didn't know if it would be universally considered mean or what!

I'll PM you the real name if you want, I just don't want it to be Google-able (and it would!).
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  #11  
September 24th, 2007, 08:51 PM
*kyle*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't think it is "mean" to name her daughter the same name. I just think it's a little weird. It's even more weird that Annette is also using Grace's name as a middle - is she intending that to be an acknowledgement of her name-theft? However, the fact that the two moms are no longer in touch should be considered. It's probably a case where the name just stuck in Annette's mind all these years and she came to consider it hers as well as Grace's.

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