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  #1  
December 6th, 2007, 01:26 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: St. Charles, MO
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This is my last baby. It will be #3 and DH and I are definately done. We have a boy and a girl and for some reason my gut says this is a boy. Just a feeling. Well we want to use one of our dad's first names as the baby's middle name if it is a boy. DH's dad is James and mine is Martin. Both are great middle names. How do we handle this without offending one of the grandpas? BTW, our other boy is Aaron Matthew. Matthew is DH's brother's name and DD is Anna Elizabeth and Elizabeth is my grandma's first name and mine and my mom's middle name.
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  #2  
December 6th, 2007, 02:11 PM
Acadia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think the simplest way to justify a choice like that is to set rules, and let them be known ahead of time. In this case I'd follow the obvious pattern you already have. Boys have names from DH's side, girls have names from your side. It makes sense and it's easy to keep up.

Maybe you could discuss this with some of them ahead of time. I'd tell the grandparents something like "We decided to keep up the pattern that boys have family names from DH's side of the family, and girls have names from my side." Then if it's a boy, use whatever name from DH's family you like, including James. If it's a girl maybe find a woman on your side to name after, or use a feminine version of Martin (even just something that starts with Mar-).

Even if you have a gut feeling it's a boy, explaining it that way could work. Then at least everyone will understand where you're coming from when you announce the name. And either way, boy or girl, there will be a pattern to follow that everyone knows is pretty fair.
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  #3  
December 6th, 2007, 10:00 PM
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Quote:
I think the simplest way to justify a choice like that is to set rules, and let them be known ahead of time. In this case I'd follow the obvious pattern you already have. Boys have names from DH's side, girls have names from your side. It makes sense and it's easy to keep up.

Maybe you could discuss this with some of them ahead of time. I'd tell the grandparents something like "We decided to keep up the pattern that boys have family names from DH's side of the family, and girls have names from my side." Then if it's a boy, use whatever name from DH's family you like, including James. If it's a girl maybe find a woman on your side to name after, or use a feminine version of Martin (even just something that starts with Mar-).

Even if you have a gut feeling it's a boy, explaining it that way could work. Then at least everyone will understand where you're coming from when you announce the name. And either way, boy or girl, there will be a pattern to follow that everyone knows is pretty fair.[/b]


I think Lauren's idea sounds like a really good way to go about it!
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  #4  
December 7th, 2007, 04:37 AM
Katherine Sarah's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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....or you could just use James Martin or Martin James?
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  #5  
December 7th, 2007, 05:59 AM
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^ That's what I was going to say. If this will be your last child and you're afraid one of the grandfathers will take offense, give the child a double middle name.
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  #6  
December 7th, 2007, 07:00 AM
Hey There's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
^ That's what I was going to say. If this will be your last child and you're afraid one of the grandfathers will take offense, give the child a double middle name.[/b]

I agree. I think 2 middle names would be approriate and then your child can say he was named after both Grandfathers. I think Martin James sounds nice as well.
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  #7  
December 7th, 2007, 03:16 PM
Melanie.'s Avatar Totalimmortal
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I would just use James, Martin is really not my style at all.
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  #8  
December 7th, 2007, 04:19 PM
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I would use both also. 3 of my kids have two middle names and it has worked out really well. One of them has 2 family names and the other 2 have one family name and one name we just really liked. My other kids all have 1 middle name, all family names.

I think Martin and James go really well together and would be a great way to honor both grandpas and tie the two together (not like they aren't already, but you know what I mean. LOL!)
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  #9  
December 7th, 2007, 04:36 PM
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Use them both and give your son two middle names.
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  #10  
December 8th, 2007, 03:26 PM
Miracle's Avatar ♥ Melissa ♥
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I'd say just choose the name that you guys both like the best, and if it "so happens" to be a family name, so be it. Don't emphasize the fact that you're naming your child because of that person, because I think that would hurt other people's feelings.

The most important thing is that you both (you and your partner) love the name.
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  #11  
December 9th, 2007, 08:38 AM
JediRach's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I would just say pick the one you like best or have one be the first name on and one be the middle. Its your child.
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