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  #1  
December 29th, 2007, 08:22 PM
Miracle's Avatar ♥ Melissa ♥
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 39,274
I just wanted to remind everyone that we need to make sure we are considerate of one another's feelings when we respond to posts.

I know that some of you may not like a lot of names that people ask/talk about on these forums, but I think we all need to be more sensitive. You may not like the name, but it may be that person's favorite name.

If you don't like a name or spelling, either just politely write "it's not really my style" or don't even bother replying if you don't have anything nice to say.

I want this forum to be a place where we all feel comfortable to share without having people respond negatively.

I hope you all understand and will try harder to be more considerate and caring about others feelings, as will I
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  #2  
December 30th, 2007, 10:07 AM
hettyhoo's Avatar Mom to Ty & Grae
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Well said
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  #3  
December 31st, 2007, 07:32 AM
MamaBx3
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I had a hard time hosting this board due to negative comments and hurt feelings.

You are doing a great job, Melissa !
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  #4  
December 31st, 2007, 02:45 PM
Mommyto2Girls's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I couldn't agree more. I think it should be common sense, to not say anything rude about someone's name preference for their child.
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  #5  
December 31st, 2007, 04:08 PM
SoonToBeBlessedWith3's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
I couldn't agree more. I think it should be common sense, to not say anything rude about someone's name preference for their child.[/b]
Ditto! I just read a post before I came here and I couldn't believe how snarky one of the ladies was in regards to a name. Some people.
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  #6  
December 31st, 2007, 04:35 PM
irishxrose
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I agree. There are some names I really don't like, but I remember the last time some of the ladies on this board got snarky (remember Britanie?) and now I just put NMS. It's better to be polite, even if you absolutely hate a name.
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  #7  
December 31st, 2007, 04:47 PM
Niamh ૐ's Avatar Green Mama Goddess
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I disagree. I agree that one should be polite as possible, but I disagree with "say nms or nothing at all".

What if someone asks "why don't you like such and such name", are we not allowed to say why?

Saying "nms" doesn't really help in a conversation though. Maybe there's an actual reason the original poster is unaware of until someone mentions it as to why they don't like the name. Sometimes hearing why people don't don't like specific names can help people reconsider their name choices. Sometimes after hearing why people don't like a specific name, the original poster may change their mind about it. Maybe they won't. But just saying "nms" doesn't really contribute.

That's just my opinion though.
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  #8  
January 1st, 2008, 10:27 AM
Bre+Will=Reid
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I agree Melissa, and FYI, you have been a great host! I can imagine that it's hard to host this board.

Obviously when people come here, they are either looking for ideas or opinions, so I don't have a problem with someone saying, "I don't care for it" or "it's not my style".....but there is a difference between "I don't really care for it, it reminds me a bit of the allergy medication" and "OMG, please don't name your child that, it's an allergy medicine! It's a totally made up name, why would you do that to your child?" ....kwim?

Like Melissa said, use common sense. Don't go out of your way to be harsh and judgemental, and I HAVE seen that happen here, and fairly regularly on occassion.
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  #9  
January 1st, 2008, 12:16 PM
Niamh ૐ's Avatar Green Mama Goddess
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Quote:
"OMG, please don't name your child that, it's an allergy medicine! It's a totally made up name, why would you do that to your child?"[/b]
Yes, I agree with that, which is why I said one shouldn't be RUDE about it, but the way I read the first post was that we couldn't even say "I don't really care for it, it reminds me a bit of the allergy medication" and ALL we could say was "It's not my style" or whatever.

I also think that, even when someone doesn't like a name and says why (in a polite way), someone will ALWAYS get offended. Yes, use common sense and basic manners... but this is a board where we are discussing names, we're discussing the good and the bad of names, and sometimes when discussing the bad (even politely as possible), someone's still going to see it as being rude. Names are a sensitive subject for many people because we choose what we feel is the best name for our children... so when we see someone say they don't like it and they say WHY they don't like it (even politely) it can still hit home. But again, this is a board TO discuss how we feel about names, so we have to understand that we can't be so sensitive when someone has a negative thing to say about a name.

Again, just my opinion.
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  #10  
January 1st, 2008, 02:36 PM
Julka
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I think it's very possible to explain why you don't like a certain name without sounding rude. Just re-read your comment before hitting the post button and ensure it won't hurt someone's feelings. After all, if a person asks a WDYT question about a certain name, they cannot only expect positive opinions and for everyone to like the name. I, for once, also look for why a person would NOT like a name and try to see it from their point of view.
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  #11  
January 1st, 2008, 05:23 PM
MommytoOliviaandCole's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Well put Melissa.
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  #12  
January 1st, 2008, 05:37 PM
Jlynn's Avatar Jamielynn
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Well put Melissa
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  #13  
January 1st, 2008, 05:41 PM
Miracle's Avatar ♥ Melissa ♥
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Quote:
I think it's very possible to explain why you don't like a certain name without sounding rude. Just re-read your comment before hitting the post button and ensure it won't hurt someone's feelings. After all, if a person asks a WDYT question about a certain name, they cannot only expect positive opinions and for everyone to like the name. I, for once, also look for why a person would NOT like a name and try to see it from their point of view.[/b]
I completely agree with you guys. I just wanted to remind everyone that people's feelings do matter because sometimes people are careless about what they write. I highly value honesty, but the way that something is said makes a HUGE impact.

You guys get the idea!!
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  #14  
January 1st, 2008, 07:12 PM
djr djr is offline
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Good Post!!!
Unfortunately I think that a few people on here need this reminder.
This should be an all around fun board to talk and converse about names.
Thanks Again Melissa..
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  #15  
January 2nd, 2008, 06:10 AM
MamaBx3
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Quote:
I agree. There are some names I really don't like, but I remember the last time some of the ladies on this board got snarky (remember Britanie?) and now I just put NMS. It's better to be polite, even if you absolutely hate a name.[/b]
Yes, I remember clearly !


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  #16  
January 2nd, 2008, 02:07 PM
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I agree with Niamh. If somebody asks for opinions, they should expect opinions, not validation. If all they want to hear is how great a name is and no negative comments whatsoever, they should state so on their post. I agree that one shouldn't be rude, but some people really need to grow a thicker skin.

Am I not allowed to say 'You're pronouncing it wrong' or 'That's not a name', then? If this is what we're turning out to be, I don't think I'll be posting around here much longer. I like boards where I can speak my mind.
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  #17  
January 3rd, 2008, 02:40 AM
Melanie.'s Avatar Totalimmortal
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Quote:
I agree that one shouldn't be rude, but some people really need to grow a thicker skin.[/b]
I agree with this. I guess I just don't understand it, why cry over a name? It's just a name, there are literally millions of names and if you don't feel the way that poster feels about it, by all means keep it and use it. I consider the source of the information, nothing that I say about a name is something I haven't thoroughly inspected. I'm just trying to give a heads up on spelling, pronunciation, gender-use, etc. because most people don't spend their free time looking up names like I do. I'm just weird like that, I guess. The names I like might be "old" or "weird", but they're actual names that have been used forever by millions of people.

I think the kids on the playground will tear apart your child enough. Why give her a boy's name? What if she looks like a boy and has a boy's name and people think she's a boy? How harsh is that, ya know?
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