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How do you compromise?


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  #1  
January 9th, 2008, 10:53 AM
Acadia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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How did you/will you compromise with your partner when agreeing on names? Most people don't magically like the exact same names! It happens sometimes, sure, but what if they don't?

Will one name boys and the other girls? Will you just make lists and more lists until you find one name neither of you hates, and use it, even if neither loves it? Will you name after someone you both admire, so the name itself isn't the issue? Will you search for the perfect name, one that both of you just happen to love?
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  #2  
January 9th, 2008, 10:57 AM
Melanie.'s Avatar Totalimmortal
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I made lists of names I loved and let him pick which ones he loved too.

He really does love Audrey and Dahlia. For a boy, we're up in the air because I love Julian, Oliver, and Adrian and he hates them. He likes Atticus and I love it. But we're not sure.
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  #3  
January 9th, 2008, 11:05 AM
M&RsMom's Avatar Mama to silly boys
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I did the list and let him pick out what he liked. I also cried and played the "I'm the one carry this baby" card and got my way
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  #4  
January 9th, 2008, 11:27 AM
Miracle's Avatar ♥ Melissa ♥
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I did the list and let him pick out what he liked. I also cried and played the "I'm the one carry this baby" card and got my way [/b]
That's funny

We are definitely having some problems with choosing names together. Nolan doesn't really like any boy names. And the only girl name he likes is Brielle, so I pretty much don't have a choice. I'm hoping I'll get to choose the boys name since he already chose the girls name
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  #5  
January 9th, 2008, 11:41 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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I make a list and he chooses which ones he likes. When he doesn't like any at he'll tell me no and make his own list for me lol. The first baby we agreed with the name on from the start. Now that we are thinking about a name for our next baby, we're having trouble agreeing. We agree on 1 girl name and zero of the boys names.
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  #6  
January 9th, 2008, 11:47 AM
Julka
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And the only girl name he likes is Brielle, so I pretty much don't have a choice. I'm hoping I'll get to choose the boys name since he already chose the girls name [/b]
That's what happened to us too.. DH only likes the name Veronika for this second baby girl, and I'm stuck without a choice! lol.

For Natasha, we picked it way way before our engagement and wedding so it kind of stuck. For a boy, luckily we both love Nathaniel but that
s the ONLY boy name we agree on.
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  #7  
January 9th, 2008, 01:17 PM
Niamh ૐ's Avatar Green Mama Goddess
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It's funny because before Seamus was born, we were in total agreement on most names (he vetoed a couple, but I wasn't too heartbroken with those ones, most of the names we agreed on). He was a little hesitant in using Scott as Seamus' second middle name as Scott is his brother's middle name as well and he felt weird using it... but I practically forced the name on him. Scott is my maiden name and it was very important for me to continue it. He finally obliged, and now he loves it. But other than that and the occasional veto, we were in total agreement on names.

We both love our son's full name (Seamus Padraig Scott) and think it's perfect.

Now, he's being a lot more difficult. He's fine with the girl name I have picked out and hasn't said anything about that one, but it seems like almost every boy name I love, he doesn't. I really really wanted to use Finnegan (nn Finn) for boy #2, but he doesn't love it (though he doesn't hate it either). Iain is a must have for one of the middle names, which he doesn't really mind, but again he doesn't love it. I had Galahad picked as the other middle name... yet again, no love/hate for it from him.

I made a list of the boys' names that I love. He vetoed most of it (including some of my favorites like Calum, Eoghan, Aengus, Ewan, etc)... then after I got a couple name books in the mail, I was looking through the Celtic name books and saying some of the names out loud to Gwyddion. We also happened to be watching Conan O'Brien on TV at the time. I came across the name Conan in the book. I (half) jokingly suggested it and he said that he actually really liked it a lot. I was surprised by that, but started thinking about it and I really like it too. During that same night he also said that he really liked Alasdair as well, which I also happen to really like, but hadn't thought about it until then. For the next couple weeks, I researched Conan (and Alasdair, but mostly Conan) and found that it has never been in the top 1000 names in the USA (a huge plus for me), I researched the mythological aspects of Conan (Conán mac Morna was a member of the fianna and an ally of Fionn mac Cumhail in the Fenian Cycle of Irish mythology). I also pictured Seamus and little brother Conan. The name has really grown on me and I did a few polls and asked people what they thought of the name on my journal and on other sites. Very few people *loved* the name, most were indifferent about it (not loving or hating it), some didn't like it, very few hated it. The fact that most people seemed indifferent about it made me like it even more for some reason. And the whole "Conan the Barbarian" and "Conan O'Brien" references don't bother us at all. I've now come to really love Conan and definitely want to use it for boy #2.

A little while later I told him that I definitely want to use Conan as the first name for our next boy and he agreed. I told him that I really love the combination Conan Iain Alasdair, and he vetoed it! He said the combination sounded weird to him. So I suggested Conan Alasdair Iain (which I think is ok, but I liked the other combo better... though I'm willing to compromise), he is just "ok" with that one, but he doesn't know. GRR! Hopefully by the time baby #2 comes and if it's a boy, I can get him to come around to Conan Iain Alasdair.

I've set Finnegan (or possibly Finnegas) on the back-burner for baby boy #3 (if we have one), which I think he'll be open to when the time comes. And Gwydd has started coming around to Deaglan, so we might use that as a possibility for a middle name or something.

Anyways, it seems that our process for picking names is me obsessing , making lists, researching, running it by him... and him either vetoing or agreeing. lol. He's not really into names like I am, plus since we're not pregnant right now, he doesn't really care all that much. But sometimes I can get him interested (like when I mentioned Conan). He seems to be ok with almost any girl name I suggest though, which is nice. Though I had Maureen at the top of my list for girl #2 (we don't even have girl #1 yet, lol), and he recently reminded me that he has a friend (who we visited in 2005) named Maureen. I completely forgot about that, grr! So now we can't use it. I've been SUPER loving the name Margaret lately, so we may use that instead (even though it's not totally Celtic... It's English). He likes it too.
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  #8  
January 9th, 2008, 01:45 PM
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We don't compromise. If one of us doesn't like a name, it's gone.

It's important that we both like all the names we give to our children, so there won't be any compromising.
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  #9  
January 9th, 2008, 06:08 PM
MamaBx3
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We don't compromise

He has NO suggestions - I have to do all the work of putting lists together. Which sucks, Because if I find a name that I absolutely love , he'll hate it His naming style is so completely different from mine. He likes more trendy names where I am very traditional. I love classic names like Charlotte and Cecilia.. He likes names like Natalia and Emma.

I can't wait to get my BFP but I'm also a bit nervous because we battled quite a bit last time
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  #10  
January 9th, 2008, 07:22 PM
Jlynn's Avatar Jamielynn
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I don't think it is about compromise. It's about finding that 1 name you both truly LOVE!!
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  #11  
January 9th, 2008, 11:53 PM
*PurpleMidnight*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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with phelix we both went through a name book and wrote down ones we liked then went to the others list and crossed off the ones we hated. with noah i went through and liste all the names id be willing ot call him and sma crossed off the ones he didntlike and we went over the list every week slowy crossing off ones we didnt like until we were left with 3 and let phelix choose in the end as we couldnt
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  #12  
January 10th, 2008, 12:08 PM
homemakermommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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We've had a pretty easy time so far with naming. When I hear or see a name I love I run it by him and he tells me if he likes it. He liked Julianna and Marinah right away no problems. If this one is a girl it might be a little trickier. I've ran two names by him that I really like and he likes them both actually he loves one of them and is now stuck on that one. I like the name alot but it wasn't a definate in my mind I was just getting an opinion but now he loves it and doesn't really want to hear other suggestions. Since I had alot of say in the others I might give it to him since I do really like it. DH is a pretty agreeable guy luckily.
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  #13  
January 11th, 2008, 11:10 AM
Bedazzled's Avatar Mommy to my own superhero
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Quote:
We don't compromise

He has NO suggestions - I have to do all the work of putting lists together. Which sucks, Because if I find a name that I absolutely love , he'll hate it [/b]
Hmm...that sounds quite familiar My DH is the SAME way!
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  #14  
January 11th, 2008, 12:27 PM
MamaBx3
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Isn't it fun ???!?!
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  #15  
January 11th, 2008, 02:36 PM
StaeheliGrl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Our compromise is that I picked the first names and DH picked the middle names. We never could agree on a first name for this one, so unfortunately DH doesn't like what I picked out, but gave me my way anyway.
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  #16  
January 12th, 2008, 07:11 AM
beckii's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Im single and I dont plan on having kids anytime soon, so I dont compromise
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  #17  
January 13th, 2008, 04:05 AM
ladyellise's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I just threw names out and he rejected most of them, the only 3 we could agree on for a boy were Gavin, Dominic and Isaac, we chose to stick with Gavin when we found out we were having a boy. As far as girl names go we found it difficult to agree on a name but Sierra and Cadence were our top names, we were going to go with Cadence if it was a girl, our name styles are soo different tho so it was hard agreeing
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