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  #1  
January 28th, 2010, 07:39 PM
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Kaz Kaz is offline
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My name is Kaz. I have 2 beautiful children(3 yrs and 8 mos), am very happily married and have Fibromyalgia. I was detemined for years not to let this get the best of me, but I don't know what to do now.

I need help getting our family on a schedule and learning how to parent my kids with Fibro, especially my 3 yr old. I am often dealing with them both because my husband works night shift and has been working almost 60 hours a week for the last few weeks. What do you really do when the advice is to keep putting them into time out over and over when you can barely walk and there is a younger child that will still need me to function for his needs?

See my other post: http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f1...some-help.html

If anyone has any advice or can recommend any books, websites or any BTDT advice, please let me know.

TIA,

Kaz
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Last edited by Kaz; January 28th, 2010 at 07:45 PM. Reason: to add link to other post...
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  #2  
January 29th, 2010, 03:58 PM
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Hi. I am Patty, the host here. Welcome to the forum. For your 3 y/o I would look into the program 1-2-3 Magic. I used to use it with my former step daughter. It worked well with her. I am going to get in touch w/ someone that has fibro and see if they have any suggestions for your other questions ok.
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  #3  
January 30th, 2010, 08:05 AM
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Hi hun. My name is Natalie and I too am a mom of two living with Fibro. My 4 yr old boy is autistic and I also have a 2yr old boy. I am completely non medicated but it took me over a year to get to this point. Sleep is your #1 priority. If you don't sleep your pain will increase 10 fold. You need to move. I walk on the treadmill every day for at least 30min. It has helped me so much. In the beginning I'll be honest it sucks. It's horribly painful and really hard to get through. But if you stick to it I promise it won't take long for you to start feeling better.

If you are already in a state where walking is too strenuous then you may want to start with a pool light swim 3x per week or there are yoga videos that are for seniors which are great for us because the movements are slow and light and still build strength. If those things are still tough just try to keep moving. I remember sitting for 80% of my day because I hated the pain of moving around. But sitting didn't help me and made my pain worse. So in the beginning I would just get up and do something every 5-10min. I'd bring a cup to the sink and then sit. And I'd have the baby help me. I'd get up and play playdoh with him at the table and then go back and sit. I'd have him help me all day long and kept him busy because every 5-10min I would do "something" even the smallest things just got me up and moving. Pushing through it all. You can do this. It's completely mentally and physically exhausting and excruciating. But you are here because you know you can't function the way you are feeling now. You can also take Tylenol arthritis around the clock (if you aren't on any other pain meds). It doesn't take the pain away but it takes the edge off and makes it almost tolerable.

Eating healthy and sticking to low carb options will also help your pain.

Be firm with your 3yr old. If you say something stick to it. Don't ever let your pain get in the way of letting her get away with a negative behavior. It sounds to me like she's going through a typical stage for her age group. Stay consistent and keep her busy like you have been.

I'm always available by PM if you have any questions or just need to vent. I know what it's like and have hit rock bottom and climbed my way out. You can do it too. I also have good behavioral techniques you could try if you want to incorporate them into your daily routine with Danica. I used them to settled my autistic son and they work great.
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  #4  
January 31st, 2010, 02:30 PM
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Kaz Kaz is offline
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thank you both so much. I am so glad I found this part of the boards. I love my playroom board here, but sometimes I feel like they just can't relate to my issues when it comes to this. I am non med right now due to nursing my son. I don't know if the tylenol arthritis is ok while BF...have to ask the pharmisist and find out.

I had such a bad day yesterday. I never thought I would see the day when a 3 yr old could reduce me to tears in a Target, but she did. By the time our trip was done, she climbed on 4 shelves, bit me twice, ran off 5 times in a matter of 15 minutes. I could just feel the eyes of people staring at me as I am trying to chase her down but I can't run. Of course no one tried to stop her, ask to help, say anything. They all just stared and watched her run by...

Needless to say, i think i have hit my breaking point. I told my dh that I would be going to call our insurance to find a therapist that deals with behavior issues as well as pain management. If i can find someone who has a good understanding of both, maybe we can work this out. I also told my dh that if he would like to come along that is up to him, but if he chooses not to go, that is his choice. However if he choses not to go, then I expect him to work with any strategies that we may be trying. I refuse to argue with him about "this will never work" etc. If he choses to argue, he can go in and argue it out with the therapist. He hates the thought of therapy in general, but I cannot think of any better way for us to deal with this.

Kaz
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  #5  
January 31st, 2010, 05:57 PM
MrsStuartD's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaz View Post
thank you both so much. I am so glad I found this part of the boards. I love my playroom board here, but sometimes I feel like they just can't relate to my issues when it comes to this. I am non med right now due to nursing my son. I don't know if the tylenol arthritis is ok while BF...have to ask the pharmisist and find out.

I had such a bad day yesterday. I never thought I would see the day when a 3 yr old could reduce me to tears in a Target, but she did. By the time our trip was done, she climbed on 4 shelves, bit me twice, ran off 5 times in a matter of 15 minutes. I could just feel the eyes of people staring at me as I am trying to chase her down but I can't run. Of course no one tried to stop her, ask to help, say anything. They all just stared and watched her run by...

Needless to say, i think i have hit my breaking point. I told my dh that I would be going to call our insurance to find a therapist that deals with behavior issues as well as pain management. If i can find someone who has a good understanding of both, maybe we can work this out. I also told my dh that if he would like to come along that is up to him, but if he chooses not to go, that is his choice. However if he choses not to go, then I expect him to work with any strategies that we may be trying. I refuse to argue with him about "this will never work" etc. If he choses to argue, he can go in and argue it out with the therapist. He hates the thought of therapy in general, but I cannot think of any better way for us to deal with this.

Kaz
Excellent idea! There are tons of great and easy techniques to add to your parenting that will help you get the behaviors you want from your child. Sometimes there are triggers that you don't notice or don't understand that are setting children off and if we can't find the trigger we can't fix it right? So with new techniques you'll find ways to handle them in a calm and organized manner that your child can relate to. When we found out my son was autistic we had to change our parenting techniques completely. But having BOTH parents on board makes all the difference. I hope your husband comes around for you. I'm ALWAYS here if you need to vent. I'm not just saying that!
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