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Even though I basically live here, I didn't really know where to make this post at. It's too serious for the Lounge, but it's not a vent so it wouldn't go there either.
What I basically want to know, is if you guys believe that dreams can be messages from a higher source? Do you think dreams have meanings?
Here is why I ask. Please don't think I am crazy!
I am adopted. I was adopted at birth nearly 21 years ago. I don't know anything about my birth mother except that her name was Susan, she changed her last name to Wood during the adoption proceedures, and she had at least 6 kids (4 that lived with her at the time, me, and then another baby born after me - I know about the baby after me because Susan called my mom when I was 6 months old asking if she wanted another baby - mom did, "dad" didn't). I was born in Chico, CA at the only hospital there, on Nov. 8, 1983 at 7:45am. She was 40 or 41 when I was born ... which would make her 61 or 62 now. The guy who fathered me left her when he found out about the pregnancy. I know nothing about him.
I have had issues about being adopted from the time I hit puberty. I absolutely don't know anything about the blood that runs through my veins and most people who aren't adopted don't understand why that is important to me ... but that is because they take it for granted. They have the ability to look up their ancestry, they can ask their grandmothers if cancer runs in their family .... the list really does go on and on. I think I want to know because I can't know. Does that make sense? After getting pregnant with Danny in January 2002, the urge and drive to find my birth mother really hit me, because I didn't know what I was at risk for during my pregnancy. My mom didn't remember if Susan had any problems with hypertension or anything like that. She didn't even know if multiples run in my genetics! After Danny was born, things were too hectic to even think about taking a shower, let alone searching for my birth mother. When I was younger I definitly wanted to do it ... then after Danny was born I didn't because I didn't understand how any mother could up a baby that came from her body ... but the last 3 or 4 months, it has been nagging at me in the back of my mind that I need to find her. It's like a clock is ticking in my heart and it's getting louder and louder, everytime I think about her.
So now that you have some background, here is why I ask about dreams and their meanings.
Last night I dreamt about her. She came to me in my dream and said "I am your birth mother and you have the right to know me and your father." She looked like me but older (obviously) and different facial features (for example, she had brown eyes, while I have hazel). So I met her ... and my father in my dream. I felt complete and whole (something I have never felt because there is a part of me missing - not knowing who these people are and their story). I felt enlightened - the happiest I have been in a very long time.
When I woke up, I was in a daze. I felt like I had a mission. Like my dream was a message from a higher source telling me this is what I need to do.
Now, I understand I could have had this dream because I've had it on the mind for a while now, but I have never ever dreamt about Susan. There was a sense of urgency in the way that she said I have the right to know her ... Does any of this make sense? Probably not ...
I don't think you are crazy at all, to me the dream was SENT to give you hope and make you NOT give up. Heck try a bunch of searches. Or even get in contact with the Montel WIlliams show or something like that. I know on Montel they find people's families and introduce them. I know a good people search let me find the link for you. But I do not think you are crazy and understand EXACTLY why you need to find them