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  • 1 Post By MidnightMaiden
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  #1  
February 18th, 2013, 12:28 PM
MidnightMaiden's Avatar )O( Blessed Be )O(
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How to feel about this....

I know I'm taking it far more personally than it should be, and I shouldn't over-think it, but I can't help it.


My mother asked if she could buy a Bible for Nevaeh's birthday.... I said no. I still have my Bible from when I was five, and when I feel she's old enough to understand, I'll pass it on to her.

I guess part of the reason I have a hard time with it, is because both my mother and my Grandmother have talked about "saving" me and how I worship Satan. I guess I kind of feel like it's my mother's way of making sure my daughter isn't corrupt... Or whatever... I may be taking it too personally... But that would be JUST LIKE my mom....

She didn't get her one for her birthday, I just wasn't sure how to take it.
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  #2  
February 18th, 2013, 02:13 PM
Carwen*Angel's Avatar Fly away on my zephyr
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You *could* be right, but then you *could* just be put off and a little disturbed by it BECAUSE of the comments she has made previously about your faith.

I remember my Nanna buying me a book of Bible stories for Christmas one year. In fact, I still have it and I remember reading it over and over and over. I was raised broadly Christian, and I loved reading about Jesus. In many ways it's a traditional present for a relative to buy a child in the Western world and that may have been the only spirit in which it was intended. Having a Bible to read while growing up hasn't stopped me still exploring and finding my own path when I reached an age where I started to question things. And I still find the Bible interesting - I inherited one from my uncle when he passed which he won from school many many years ago, and I cherish both that one and the children's one as mementos of lost loved ones as well as special books.

If someone were to offer to buy Daniel one as a present I would be happy for it - but for me, my feeling about my children's spirituality is that I want them to learn about all religions and paths and make their own choice. Daniel, much like me as a child, is very interested in school assemblies and Jesus and has said he's a Christian and if that's the path he chooses ultimately then that's fine (and would be happy as at least I know enough about Christianity to help him!!) - different paths are right for different people.

However, I have never had a member of my family offer to "save" me or accuse me of worshipping Satan, so in that context I can completely understand your apprehension.

Perhaps have a think about it, and if you decide it would be ok after all, she may ask on another occasion or you could just tell her it would be fine before the next occasion. I think only you can work out in your heart whether you took it wrong or whether your mother indeed did have ulterior motives - but I don't see any harm in Nevaeh learning about Christianity as well as Paganism as well as all the other world religions.


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  #3  
February 18th, 2013, 02:52 PM
MidnightMaiden's Avatar )O( Blessed Be )O(
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I have my bible from when I was younger, it's white and a Precious Moments Bible, which I adored growing up. I was brought up Christian, went to Sunday School and when I was older went to Youth Group and many Youth Conventions.

I don't have a problem with her learning other religions... Would just prefer to wait until she's a little older. Let her be a kid and just enjoy life because she can.

I think I'll just leave it for now... When I'm ready, or when she expresses interest... I will give her my Bible.

Unfortunately due to my mother and grandmother, as well as a few other people, I've grown so... What's the word... Hardened.... To Christianity. I know it's horrible, and I need to let go of what happened and how closed minded *some* (I know not all) Christians are. But I just can't help it...
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  #4  
February 18th, 2013, 03:25 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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*hugs*

I'm expecting similar conversations/situations when we have a child of our own. I was raised in the church, my grandmother still attends, my 9 year old cousin goes to Sunday School/Church. DH wants nothing to do with it, and I'm presently on what could be described as an organized religion strike. I'm guessing when we decline to have a child baptized... all hell is going to break loose....

Reme has a desire to know about God and Jesus.. but to him, they are stories about dead people, just like stories about dead presidents. I do my best to answer his questions (because I know the answers, his parents don't), if he wants to go to church, that's all on his grandma.
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  #5  
February 18th, 2013, 04:55 PM
Shades of Grey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I can see your apprehension. Id probably explain that when she DOES get one, you want it to be yours passed down to her making it more personal that way.
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  #6  
February 18th, 2013, 06:02 PM
MidnightMaiden's Avatar )O( Blessed Be )O(
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I'm glad I'm not the only one.

I did explain to my mom that I will pass mine along. I have even agreed to let my mom take her to church so she can attend the little kid's group (they're 7th Day Adventists and go to church on Saturday's). Mostly because I know she won't retain it and it's good for her. The singing and crafts and sharing. I'm ok with that.

If she does decide that Christian is the path she wants to follow when she's older, then I'll support it.
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  #7  
February 18th, 2013, 07:46 PM
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I think you have to go by their intentions. If all they've ever discussed with you is saving you and such then ya...you'd be thinking its about saving her not what she truly needs in her life or what she'd love. So I think you have some justification for feeling as you do about it.

But you know what...you have a wonderful idea in letting her have yours when she's old enough to read and get it. Whats more memorable and precious than a passed down gift from the heart??

Im glad your mom didnt push the issue and respected your wishes about it all. Thats a plus.

I can see being hardened when all you get from that end is "devil worshipper" "must be saved" and so on. Just try not to let it get too hard cuz there are some out there who dont see things that way. Hopefully your mom will continue to respect your wishes and not go on a tangent about "saving" anyone.
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  #8  
February 19th, 2013, 02:20 AM
Carwen*Angel's Avatar Fly away on my zephyr
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I like that idea, Ashleigh. Diplomatic and makes for an extra-special present for Nevaeh when she is older. I will probably give Daniel my children's Bible at some stage since he has proclaimed he wants to be Christian, whereas I think Michaela will be more nature religion oriented like me.

The only hints that I have had at people attempting to "save" me or my kids have been DP's mum who was shocked when we said Michaela wouldn't be christened. She said something like "but what if something happens to her and she hasn't been christened..." - well, I'm not Christian, so it's of no consequence to me and won't make any difference. She hasn't said anything else though. And a parent of a child I used to teach who gave me some book or other about born-again Christianity as an end-of-year present. I never even read it, just gave it to a charity shop. And I've had missionaries come to the door - I have a pleasant chat with them and listen to what they've got to say because one I'm open-minded, two they believe they're doing God's work and three I like talking about faiths and religions. And then announce that I'm Pagan and very happily so.

Anyway I digress. Once your mom and grandmother see that it's not just a fad and this is your chosen path, my bet is that they will love and support you in it as they do in every other area, because they love you. Tricky situation though.
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  #9  
February 19th, 2013, 02:20 AM
Carwen*Angel's Avatar Fly away on my zephyr
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I like that idea, Ashleigh. Diplomatic and makes for an extra-special present for Nevaeh when she is older. I will probably give Daniel my children's Bible at some stage since he has proclaimed he wants to be Christian, whereas I think Michaela will be more nature religion oriented like me.

The only hints that I have had at people attempting to "save" me or my kids have been DP's mum who was shocked when we said Michaela wouldn't be christened. She said something like "but what if something happens to her and she hasn't been christened..." - well, I'm not Christian, so it's of no consequence to me and won't make any difference. She hasn't said anything else though. And a parent of a child I used to teach who gave me some book or other about born-again Christianity as an end-of-year present. I never even read it, just gave it to a charity shop. And I've had missionaries come to the door - I have a pleasant chat with them and listen to what they've got to say because one I'm open-minded, two they believe they're doing God's work and three I like talking about faiths and religions. And then announce that I'm Pagan and very happily so.

Anyway I digress. Once your mom and grandmother see that it's not just a fad and this is your chosen path, my bet is that they will love and support you in it as they do in every other area, because they love you. Tricky situation though.
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  #10  
February 19th, 2013, 11:38 AM
MidnightMaiden's Avatar )O( Blessed Be )O(
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They haven't said much else around it. My Grandmother likes to make snide remarks in regards to my Tarot cards, but I mean... She's 76 and I know that it's just her ways... It's just not always easy to listen to.

Nevaeh seems more interested in nature. She loves being outside, and is constantly picking up rocks to collect, and leaves and has been known to say "good-bye" to trees

I'm always super polite when the JW knock on the door. I just smile and let them get out whatever they need to. I mean, I was raised Christian and I know all about Jesus and his love. So I smile, let them say what they need to, take their little pamphlets and then continue on with my day.
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  #11  
February 20th, 2013, 06:52 AM
stucklikeglue's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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fist question, why are some word throughout everyone's replies in blue and linked to ebay?! and Natasha even though no one has said Im going to hell or Im worshiping satan, its probably because I havent said anything to anyone as I dont know what I am yet. Im sure the time will come. Hopefully your mother and gmother drop the topic for good. If and when Nevah is ready she can always go to them (or you) I am happy to hear that you are letting you attend. I was brought up in so many different "christian" churches but the last one was pentecostal. I liked it and didnt feel the need to shame anyone who wasnt "saved". I am curious what this 7th day adventist means thought

Also I can say I have never had anyone come to my door since being an adult and trying to "teach" me or "save" me lol. Although I have had people come to my door and ask for my mother or father lol ( I guess I looked to young to answer his grown up questions about MY property! hehehe
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